What is Realistic Love? What is a Positive Relationship?

what is realistic love

This question I ask myself often, for while I am great at being faithful and loyal, I tend to get in the way of my own self in a relationship. I can write the best advice ever, I can be that ear for friends to vent to while giving them positive relationship advice, but when it comes to me taking my own words of wisdom to heart? They get lost in translation. Seriously.

what is realistic love

What is realistic love? To me realistic love is something that you feel that is stemmed from a deeper than the surface feeling. Realistic love is one that is embedded within your soul, a future that you foresee as a whole with another person. Common goals, common interests, imperfections that you both acknowledge but accept, because love is so deeply embedded within your soul the only other comparable love is that of your flesh and blood, parental love.

To me realistic love, having a positive relationship, is one in which you can step back from your own emotional roller coaster. We all have demons inside that sprout up from time to time, sometimes those demons can get the best of us. A scenario that happens with your loved one can trigger these demons in ways that are toxic to your positive relationship. The only advice I have to you about your inner demons is to work through them, have a loving partner who can understand and empathize for those demons but also work with you to get you beyond that moment of feeling uneasy.

No two people are the same in every relationship, some people may date someone who brings out the worst in them, and we all have a bad side. Some people may date someone who brings out the best in them but when it comes down to the real world responsibilities, it doesn’t click well. Then you have that realistic love, where two people are connected deep within the soul in such a way that no matter what happens to try to turn that relationship toxic, those two people are able to step back and find that deeply embedded love that brings them back to the roots that made them fall in love in the first place.

All that I know about realistic love and living a positive lifestyle within a relationship is that sometimes the wording in which we say things can be taken completely off base, sometimes the meaning behind our words that are sent in text message can be taken to heart and feel offensive. I say to this scenario that you work with your partner to always speak when having a challenging time, while spoken word doesn’t come easy to me; it is something I wish to work on. I want so badly to be able to vocalize my feelings and communicate with my man in a way that helps us grow together. I also want him to be able to learn how I hear his words, so that he can learn the best way to say things to me as well.

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A realistic love story has no rules, it has no book that you can read to know just where you will end up, be it together or apart. All I can say is that love is worth having and if you make mistakes along the way, let those mistakes be a chance to learn and grow, together. Cheers to all who have found realistic love and learned how to best communicate when things go a bit crazy.

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18 Comments

  1. I think it’s so important for people to remember that Hollywood love and real life love are two entirely different things. If you think your life is going to be something out of “The Notebook”, you’re going to be super disappointed.

  2. When I was younger, I believed in fairy tales and thought that *real* relationships functioned the same way. Now I understand that what we are shown in the media is not realistic. Real love means accepting the person fault, warts and all. It doesn’t mean you won’t get mad or disagree, it just means that you understand that they are as imperfect as you.

  3. To me, realistic love is knowing that the person I married isn’t the same person he was 20 years ago, and he won’t be the same 20 years from now. He’s always changing, as am I, and we wake up each day choosing to accept those changes and support each other no matter what.

  4. What a brave step to identify realistic love and the importance of expression and understanding. I’m constantly surprised by couples who split up because the other person doesn’t deliver what they expect. Much of the time it’s because communication needs some help.

  5. For me realistic love is knowing that everything is not going to be exciting or fresh all the time, yet still appreciating the monotony of life with your significant other. Communication and understanding are vital as well.

  6. It is very important to put the word “love’ into perspective and really think about what it means. To me, realistic love is unconditional and frustrating in the most fulfilling ways.

  7. This is such a great topic…sometimes Realistic and Love are two words that don’t seem to go together, but it is so important to have realistic goals and expectations around love.

  8. This is so real and true. They are many demons and securities that can flare up in a relationship and turn it toxic. I believe the key is to always communicate those feelings and work through them together.

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