Relationships are a total pain in the butt, they can be easy or they can be difficult and sometimes they can be a bit of both. Life with a partner is trying and challenging because no two people are exactly the same. I really think the key to a successful, long term marriage comes with a combination of many things, but most importantly:
When I met my man, we loved that we both looked at a relationship as a business arrangement, so to speak. We both believe that if you treat a relationship as a business then it is easier to work through those emotional roller coaster rides love can put you through. When you have relationship goals, much like business goals, the relationship can really continue to blossom through all that life tosses at you.
My belief is that you should both have realistic future goals for your life together, maybe don’t rush into it, but do it at the pace that works for you both. Discussing where you want to be in work, life and love is so vitally important when it comes to two people combining their lives.
Steps to Setting up Relationship Goals
Discuss your future plans on having children or not having children. Already have children that have a possibility of being step-children to this partner? Discuss how you guys would parent together, discuss if there are going to be any more children together. Reality is that if your parenting/children/family goals are not aligned at all, the future really isn’t going anywhere in my opinion.
Discuss what your goals are for work, what do each of you have for goals in making money? Maybe you are a work-from-home professional and have certain business goals to reach that you’d love to have a partner work with you on, maybe you have certain promotions you are working towards in your career. Figure out how long each of you have held employment, because you both should have a partner who is financially responsible; gets bills paid, has a roof over their head, can provide at some level to the family household once you combine lives.
Discuss friendships, socializing; etc. all of that information will matter. If you are super social and your partner isn’t, while that can work for some people, it may become a sticking point for you moving forward in relationship goals. Make sure you guys will mesh well in social environments or lack thereof social environments.
Hopes, dreams and aspirations must be aligned as well because if you and your partner are working towards the complete opposite spectrum in life, it won’t match up and will become a breaking point between the two of you.
The Main Key to Relationship Goals
I think the key to relationship goals and achieving realistic love is to love deeper than the surface. Those long lasting, old school marriages lasted because a husband and wife had plan, one was going to be the provider of the family in financial ways and the other was going to be the nurturing soft side of the family. Most often the man was the breadwinner and the female was the home maker. I am in love with that old school mentality, not at its complete full definition but loosely based as a means for two people to live happily ever after; because expectations are realistic and stemmed from a love & respect that goes deeper than the surface of our emotions.
I think having a plan is important, but I have to assume all couples talk about the things you listed. It doesn’t make sense to stay with someone who doesn’t have similar interests and goals.
These are very helpful tips. I agree loving deeper than the surface is really the key for a relationship to work.
Great tips! I think now a days people quit too quickly on relationships! I think if we learn to work stuff out then we will have much more mature marriage.
The great thing about relationship tips is they apply to all relationships, not just marriage or dating. All kinds of relationships need positive reinforcement. (Not saying you need to love your co-worker, but you know what I mean!)
It is definitely important to talk about what you both want in the future. If your goals don’t align then it’s hard. Thanks for sharing these.
I remember having a discussion about all these things before I got married. It was important to me to make sure our values aligned on important issues. Thanks for sharing the great tips!
You’ve got a good list. I am no expert in the area, and doubt I will endeavor into the world of romance ever again. I thought I was married to my true love for a very long time, turns out I wasn’t. But that’s okay. I’m finally getting over that mountain, and I’m not unhappy. 🙂
Communication is key to a happy relationship. It is not healthy to keep things bottled up. I like to set goals for myself. I will have to share this post with my Sister.
These are all important things to discuss when you are in a relationship. Communication helps keep the relationship running smoothly.
You have a lot of great and valid points here. We were in love and googly eyed from the beginning but knew that love was not just emotion, it was work and a commitment.
Open communication is key for us to have the love we have. Our bad days come when we’re being quiet with each other, for sure.
Finding love is one of the most difficult things you can do, but it’s so rewarding too! I don’t know where I’d be without my husband!
This is a great piece. I have been with my husband for 15 years and it is because we did set goals in our marriage to attain together.