It’s the time of year, your daughter is growing into a miniature adult and it’s no longer just her intelligence that makes you call her a mini adult. The world is changing for you as a parent and your daughter as a young girl as she heads into being more of a young woman, yet still your minor child. The years of hormone changes and getting a menstrual cycle can be challenging. These are the years where the relationship between mother and daughter as well as father and daughter can change in many ways. The hormones may play out in the most odd ways, leaving you constantly on your toes wondering what in the world happened to my little girl.

During these times of body and hormone changes it is vitally important to accept what is simply hormones and work to teach your child how to take a break when needed and to be okay just saying her hormones are off so please be forewarned. There is nothing wrong, in my opinion, with teaching your daughter to recognize what’s real and what is hormone based and admitting this out-loud to ensure the family stays at peace.  Even as a grown woman, at the age of 32, I struggle with my hormone changes and I have a regular menstrual cycle. Hormones are not something a woman can control, so why think a young tween can control it? It won’t happen.

As a parent, I can lend you some pieces of advice on how to work with a tween who is having these hormonal changes happening and leave you with a positive parenting relationship with your child by end of day {or sometimes, by end of week} ..

• Realize that your daughter is going through a hormonal change, even if not having a menstrual cycle yet.
• Be aware, as the adult parent, that hormonal responses are not from the heart responses and take them lightly.
• Be supportive of your daughter during these times of hormone changes, it’s not easy even for the best of us adult woman.
• Allow your daughter freedom of respectful speech, allow mean words to roll off your shoulders and remember it’s this hormonal monster that has taken over, and this will not last forever.
• Do still talk to your daughter in a parental tone to ensure they realize, while you have compassion for what they are going through, that certain levels of respect are still expected.
• Give a 20 second hug!

The last tip is quite honestly the best one I have for you when dealing with a hormonal tween. The reason being? I once read somewhere that a 20 second hug can release all of these hormones in your brain that make you happy, and being the positive, crazy, happy go lucky woman that I am – I just had to test the theory out. I will tell you that this 20 second hug works AMAZING during the times of hormone switches with my daughter. It’s a one sided hug, meaning hormones have taken over my daughter so she is fighting any urge of being loveable, never mind giving hugs. I hang on tight for 20 seconds, not so tight I hurt her, but tight enough in a loving hug embrace that after about 20 seconds she cannot help but smile a little bit. Works every time.

Mind you, hormones are tricky, there is nothing you can do to control them. The one thing you can do, as a parent of a child going through this stage, is to be there for them with open arms and understanding. All these girls need at this age is to have someone they can vent to, someone who loves them unconditionally, someone they can trust to be who they are and say what they are feeling during hormone rages and yet still know they are loved 100% always.