I finally was able to sit down and watch The Vow, a movie I had wanted to see upon it’s theater release, however, being a work from home mother of three going to the theater rarely happens. I sat down with popcorn in bowl and clicked play, prepared to release whatever emotions The Vow brought out.
The one thing I walked away from with the movie The Vow was the fact that we tend to hold higher standards for our loved ones. The person we married or are in a long term commitment with are sometimes held to such a high standard that one small mistake is held against them forever. It’s impossible for us to be perfect so why do so many partners think that their partner could not make a single mistake during the length of their relationship?
There is a spot in the movie when the mother of the woman who lost her memory says something along the lines of; “I chose to not hold one bad thing he did against him and remember all of the good things. I chose to forgive.” In all honesty, I think we would have a lower divorce rate in America if more couples made such a decision, the power of forgiveness goes a long way. I personally have more respect for those who have wronged me, admitted their wrong doing and allowed me a chance to forgive them. I live my life without grudge, without bitterness because I was able to simply forgive them.
This is not to say that I am friends with the various friends who wronged me any longer, but I did choose to forgive them. I, myself, have been forgiven in the past for wrong doing in a relationship. I was merely 18 years old and I recall how wonderful it felt to have that person I was dating forgive me. I confessed to him my wrong doing, he was upset but the end result was forgiveness. You see, those who end up doing wrong to their loved one may not do it maliciously, we are all human, we all have tests and temptations that come into our lives; sometimes temptation is so strong that we can’t seem to fight it.
If you are honest with the person you love or you are in a position where the person you love is honest with you, remember that forgiveness is an amazing tool. More often than not, if the person who did wrong is truly remorseful for what they have done to hurt you, then your forgiveness and ability to move forward in the relationship can change the way you two live and love. So I say, remember that we are all human, learn that forgiveness is not being weak, realize that the power of forgiveness is a strength within you that you can use to better your life, your relationships and your family.
The river of life has turbulence but learning how to handle that turbulence in a positive way is what will allow you to have a free heart, soul and mind to love and be loved.
Great post Brandy! I have had some down spots in my marriage and I am sure I have disappointed my husband a few times too.. We have however, forgiven and worked through it. Divorce is not an option. Neither of us believe that. I am not judging those that do, and I certainly could be in a place where I might have to let go of that belief, but we keep that in mind and we always use forgiveness and communication as the tools that keep us strong and together. I think A LOT of marriages suffer because of communication!
Thank you Bobbie! I am divorced so I guess my thoughts are in hindsight on the personal side of this post, however, I learned some things from the divorce. One of which is communication and forgiveness being important aspects of a relationship.