The Choice to Smile Through the Rain

by brandyellen // August 14, 2012 // Comments off

When you see me on the streets, in a store or at the school you will normally see me smiling, I look happy the kids look happy and it appears as if I have not a worry in the world. That is because I have made a conscious decision to smile through the rain. I also made a conscious decision to focus on what makes me happy and try not to let what I can’t control run me down.

The problem with that theory on life is that at times everything comes down at once and the smiles, happy go lucky mindset is unable to keep up. I crash. I literally lay down and pass out to sleep numerous hours. My mind decides it can’t take any more and my body just shuts down. I don’t like that my body does this and I don’t like that so many challenges are on my plate at once, but life is not easy nor is parenting. I deal with life the best way I know how, take one thing at a time, smile through the rain and deal with only what I can control.

Only my closest of friends and some online friends know what is going on in my personal life for I made a choice not to broadcast my problems, it keeps things less stressful. I don’t condone gossip and I refuse to be a part of the local gossip mill. Not that anyone would want to gossip about me, I really don’t do much besides work and be mom, still I am not willing to take that chance. One thing I have also learned in my almost 31 years of life is that no matter how much you try to vent to others, citing that you don’t want advice, they will have their own set of advice based on situations that they feel are similar.

I don’t mind advice, hell I can give myself advice, it’s just that in some areas of life I suck at actually taking that advice or following through with what I know is most likely best to do. You see, life is not as simple sometimes as a yes or no answer and so you roll with the punches keeping your head held high and focus on things that make you happiest and the things you can control.

So when you see me smiling out there in the world, remember I am human too with a lot of things on my plate right now, do not confuse my decision to focus on what makes me happy as having an easy life; for that is not the case at all.

Check out wedding venues to make you smile today if you are stress planning a wedding.

Christine & Tony’s Story of Life and Love Part 2: Tony’s Story

by brandyellen // February 8, 2012 // Comments off

I’m wondering if this is going to read like True Confessions; however, it is all true and it will show that bad boys can become good boys and men really only want the same things that women do.

I am 60-years-old and have been married for two years to Christine, my third wife. She is precious to me and I have a very strong love for her.

I met and married my college sweetheart in 1969, had our son in 1971 and was ‘happily’ married for almost twenty years. My profession is in retail and I manage sales people for a living. Along the way, women impress and flirt–and if you are a people person like I am–you sometimes flirt back. One thing leads to another and I was having a torrid affair that lasted several years prior to my wife discovering all of this. My wife and I split up; I became a new father once again and got married for the second time. It was a tough marriage from the first day. We stayed together for more than a dozen years, mostly for the sake of our daughter; however, about five years ago, it was over.

I found myself alone, and because of my wife’s behavior, I had custody of our daughter.

After a couple of years, my teenager and her brother said that I had to get a life, so I started looking.

My daughter has a horse, so I would end up meeting single gals at the stables. I dated on and off. Mostly off. I just could not find what I was looking for. I wanted to meet a ‘happy’ person. Someone who was attractive, sure, but my hot button was that she had to be happy to be herself. I have always thought of myself as a person who is happy and I am constantly trying to sell the ‘happy story’ to people, but I find that unless it is natural, it wears out.

I was determined to find a happy gal or I was prepared to go it alone. I became a member of Match.com and started dating. Most of the gals posted ‘glamour’ pictures. I hate those! Some lied about their age or where they lived. It was a nightmare.

Several were very nice and we had fun; however, no one was a match to what I was looking for.

Then, one evening, I was scanning the listings and Christine’s bio came up. She was attractive and talked about wanting to meet someone happy, etc. When I read it, it sounded like she was looking for me.

After several e-mails, we met for lunch and I was immediately impressed by her genuine smile and the positive things she talked about. Nothing negative came out of her mouth.

We started dating and I fell for her long before she fell for me. After a year, I asked her to marry me. I had told her all about my infidelity in the beginning and she did not let me off the hook. Lots of questions and soul searching on my part. I told her the truth and continue to work on our relationship. In the end, she said yes and I could not be happier.

I have found for myself that since I have failed at two marriages and have a desire to succeed at any cost, it has made me appreciate my wife all the more. She understands me and helps me through misunderstandings between us in a positive way, by explaining how she feels and why something is bothering her. I try to do the same, but I am not very good at it. I am, however, trying to understand how a woman’s mind works and will continue to keep an open mind on any relationship help I can get.

Thanks to Tony for sharing his part of the Christine & Tony love story! If you missed Christine’s Story please reference the post on site previous to this one.

I Met My Love Online: Gus and Brina’s Match.com Story

by brandyellen // February 3, 2012 // Comments off

My husband Gus and I met online in 2005 a couple of months after my
ex-husband and I separated. We emailed back and forth for a few weeks and then he disappeared – only to resurface again in October of 2006. I was
dating someone else. I contacted him in March of 2007 and we met. He had
been dating online for about 4 years and I was into my second year. We were
happy to have finally found a match.

Happily Blended asked Brina, what was the most romantic thing Gus did?

Gus cried his eyes out when he read aloud our wedding vows and had the entire wedding in tears. It was beautiful.

Happily Blended asked Brina, how long have you been together?

We married in 2008 and had our first child in 2009. Our second was born last September.

Brina wanted to share some tips for those looking for their true love online:

It’s a numbers game. You need to meet lots and lots of men before you find a match. Most people, whether you meet them online or off, have issues. It is a bit like finding a needle in a haystack. But, the beauty of dating online is that you can meet much more singles in a shorter period of time than relying on being set up or randomly.
Never meet someone without speaking on the phone first. If you can have a nice phone conversation, it will be a pleasant evening, even if there is no chemistry.
But, don’t allow yourself to fall in love over the phone. You need to meet face to face before you know if there is a real connection.
Be positive, be courteous, be punctual. Let the other person know if you are interested in seeing them again.

Brina is the CEO and owner of The Younique Boutique, an ecommerce store that sells personalized gifts.

Rules Of Blogging in 2012 For Myself

by brandyellen // January 26, 2012 // Comments off

I have made a decision with myself to keep some things private, mainly relationship status, issues or similar that are very personal in nature. I will discuss topics that almost any relationship may have come up here and there, but there will no longer be any personal posts regarding the status of relationships at a personal level.

The reason I came to this decision was because I wasn’t realizing that me being insanely open and outspoken online could potentially hurt people’s feelings and well honestly I don’t want to be on a reality television show so why would I treat my blog like one? Get what I mean?

There are few taboo topics to me, I love to address everything in life that pops into my little head but when it comes to deep personal issues or even relationships I have to lay low on talking too much about it. I do not wish to keep my personal relationship status a secret, but there are many areas in my life I continue to work on, struggle with and accept. I love writing about relationship type topics, whether they are about my own self, things I watched on TV or heard over the social media world, so I will continue discussing topics but no more personal relationship status type of things, unless of course I run off and get married & wish to share pictures, well that is going to be okay to do!

So far, personal relationship status is the only topic I refuse to blog about anymore, what is your number one, or would be your number one do not blog about topic if you have or had a blog?

Promoting Inner Beauty

by brandyellen // October 18, 2011 // Comments off

It is so difficult as a mother to a nine year old girl because it seems our girls are growing up faster than they did back when I was a kid or even when my parents were kids. The media has all sorts of push for how a tween should look, what girls should do to “get boys attention” and oh don’t forget they push make up instead of inner beauty.

I think that my daughter is lucky in many ways because I rarely wear makeup which means she has learned that makeup isn’t part of a daily routine. Of course I do my hair daily whether it be scrunching it up for curly results or using a flat iron so I am teaching my daughter to keep her hair taken care of so it’s healthy and not snarly. My daughter also knows that if she wants to wear a little lip gloss that is okay but for the most part she can only have other forms of makeup on if we are doing something special and she just wants to have a little fun with makeup.

My daughter plays with Barbies, she loves Bratz, iCarly and other various things that some moms refuse to let their daughter’s have anything to do with for it promotes “big chest” or it promotes odd shaped bodies – meaning super skinny or a specific unrealistic figure or lifestyle. Honestly, I think that when it comes down to promoting inner beauty with your child it’s best to teach them through communication and setting an example in yourself rather than removing things from their life that they will see eventually at sleep overs or school recess.

The media push for the “perfect looking female” based on stereotypical, unrealistic standards will forever be there, so will you forever be there to hold their hand and guide them away from such media concepts when they hit the adult years? No, you won’t. This means you can’t use shielding children from media and various “toys” as a means to promote inner beauty, the best way to promote inner beauty is through communication – words & actions from a parent are much more stronger than the media pull if you keep that communication moving forward throughout your young ones lives.

What are you doing to set a good example about inner beauty to your young daughter(s)?