Let’s Get Real Honest Here. #parenthood #relationships

There is a lot in my brain these days. As the warm sun shines down and I feel my head start to clear up from the gloom Winter casts upon my soul. Spring has sprung they say, but here in New Hampshire we had a few days of 70′s then Mother Nature decided to have a hormonal swing and dumped a few inches of snow on our green grass. I won’t let a little bit of snow hold me down though, I am thankful for my mind to be more at ease. I say it’s my praying that has opened my eyes but it could also be the strength from the sunshine beaming down upon me, warming my soul and allowing my thoughts to flow more wholeheartedly.

Sunshine Warms My Soul: Thoughts from a Mom

My honesty today, all starts with parenthood; I am a Mom first and foremost, that is my job that will be mine forever. I like to say until my children are 18 years old that they are my 100% priority, but in all reality, I am sure they will be my priority long after age 18. It just sounds better to know at age 18, I may get a break from my Mom job. For now, my children are 11, 7 and 5 years of age. My 7 year old is on the spectrum, my 5 year old could be labeled as ADHD if you must place a label, and my 11 year old is my only girl who is battling the hormones that Mother Nature gave us females to deal with. It’s a juggle. Every. Single. Day.

I can honestly say I adore being a mother, it’s something that I do naturally, I was apparently blessed with a very huge maternal instinct and while no parent is perfect, I think this Mom Job has to be the most rewarding one yet and I am proud to say my three children get great grades, think for their own self, know what makes them tick and they have a heart of gold. To me, I’ve done my job and will continue to do my job. I lead by example and if I am not at my full capacity of happiness, neither are my children. All day I work to raise my children, it is my job to be their parent { and their Dad’s too, of course}. I am not one of those parents who wants anyone else to determine what’s best for my children, I am the one who spends the most time with them and I am constantly observing them to see how I can work to better them and teach them how to be well rounded individuals.

My Mom job makes it so that at the end of the night, when the children lay asleep in their beds, all I want to do is one of two things; write my little heart out on my websites OR put my feet up on the recliner watching a funny show to laugh the day away. What I don’t want to do is; have another adult around me. I will be honest with you and with myself, at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is have another responsibility placed on my shoulders to please another human being. I don’t mind having company on occasion, I don’t mind engaging in adult conversations but reality is that I spend a predominant amount of my time working from home to make money and raising my kids; the last thing I have time for is a relationship.

I am finding this to be the truth, this lack of wanting or having time for a relationship, more and more as each day comes. My middle child has not been on any medications since January 20, 2014. He is excelling. My son has come so far and it’s taken a lot of hard work on my part as well as on his father’s part. We have worked so hard to ensure that our son doesn’t need medications, it’s a challenge raising children and if you are choosing to be with someone, then it should be someone who can help balance out the juggling with you. This isn’t easy to find. I am told far too often the level of parenting I do is something few see anymore. People commend me for my hard work as a Mom and honestly that makes me more happy than anyone commending me about a relationship status.

At the end of the day I find that I just, in all honesty, do not have time for another human being nor do I want that pressure placed upon me; even if that other adult isn’t placing pressure upon me himself, it’s his presence and the title of being in a relationship that can get me down. I feel weighted and the only area that is weighing me down is a relationship status. This is crazy to some, this isn’t me saying “oh my gosh I am with a total jerk”, it’s me saying at the end of the day, I am starting to see the Light …. I am simply someone who is too focused, driven and motivated in the areas of Parenthood and Running a Business to add to that. I have always been a hard worker, never been a hard relationship worker, while I feel I worked hard to try to keep my prior marriage to the father of my son’s together, it comes down to this – I am far too busy working on my children and myself to try to work on someone else being part of that. Not right now. It just weighs me down. The fact that this weighs me down, makes things a lot more clear to me, there’s nothing wrong with the relationship per say or the other person, it’s just me. I don’t do well with relationships when I am so focused on things I find more important; my children and my work. That may be selfish, but I am so unselfish with my children that I deserve a little selfishness in ensuring I am at my best!

It’s difficult to be this honest with someone, because I have had these conversations privately. They seem to go no where. It seems I walk alone on my path of ensuring my true inner happiness is always there. Few can relate to that, for society doesn’t condone us to be individuals and listen to our souls. Society wants to push us to be with someone, we can’t make it on our own, we must bow down to the powers of having that person beside us. I don’t believe that everyone is ready for a relationship when they happen into one, but they take the risk and hope it works out. Now, I am not condoning walking away from a relationship just because of a hard day or a week long funk between the two of you; relationships take work. Love takes work. I know this. I am simply saying; I don’t have the energy, time nor desire to put forth that type of energy towards a relationship right now. I am pretty sure that’s why I said yes to the ring but opted to push the wedding date out another year; something inside of me knows I am no good with relationships while raising my children right now.

My children need me at my best, that is the one gift I can make a choice to give them, even if no one understands it right away, including my children. I do my best to be honest with others and myself and this is me pouring my clear mind and warm soul out to the world.

Mother Nature Had to Dump on Us

They say that the first day of Spring is March 20th this year and so one would think being that it is now the first part of March, Winter would be coming to an end? Well no, of course not, remember the month of March comes in like a Lion and out like a Lamb? Yeah, Mother Nature decided to remind us of that yesterday by dumping a crazy amount of snow on us…

But it’s school vacation week here in my neck of the woods so the kids loved getting one last snow day before this week ends and school starts up again. The cool thing is, their dad/step dad of Ki made a snow blown path in our yard so that the kids could really have a maze of a time, or just use the picnic table as their pretend home.. whatever works.

The boys patiently waited for their sister to arrive home from her Dad’s house yesterday so that they could go out and have some fun. My five year old son lasted about fifteen minutes while the other two, my youngest & oldest, were outside for over an hour if not two hours while I watched them enjoy the icky, cold white snow that was dumped on us.

Although my five year old only lasted a short period of time, he did thoroughly enjoy hanging out, hiding from my camera the whole time he was outside, while eating some snow like his sister…

You can’t see him right? He’s totally doing a great job at hiding from my camera I tell ya!

 

The Day We Attempted to Build a Snow Fort

I am well aware that it is still only February and that March is suppose to come in like a lion and go out like a lamb, but man this NH “Winter” hasn’t really been a normal one. Couple snow storms, one being in October near my birthday and that’s it. Other than that it’s been Spring like warmth then freezing cold the next day. Up and down weather patterns is probably what is causing many to catch the sniffles. Geesh Mother Nature, what’s up?

Not that I am begging for snow, in all honesty, I DO NOT LIKE SNOW, however, I am in NH and do plan to see a nice pretty white Winter from my comfy dining room window. The view is gorgeous, it’s just the cold that comes with it and the messy driving that sucks for me.

We had one school snow day and although I dislike being outside in the cold, freezing snow, I decided I should suck it up and be a good Mama. The kids and I headed outside in the snow to enjoy one of the couple of snow storms we received this year thus far and we actually had a grand ole time trying to build a snow fort, before it started to rain.

Although we didn’t get to completely finish the snow fort, my daughter and I had a great time packing snow into a huge bucket and using team work to tip it upside down trying to stack each row as tight together as possible. Soon my daughter’s hands got cold, as her gloves were not warm enough and my three year old decided he wanted to trudge off in the snow instead of helping us or playing with his dump truck dumping snow into the bucket for me.

Between the cold hands of my daughter, the traveling nature of my three year old and the snow that turned to rain we had to head inside for some hot cocoa and laughter as we stared out the dining room window at our accomplishment of the start of a snow fort!

Although our fort has now melted almost down to nothing, we still have the little stubs of snow in a pattern of our fort that remind us each day of our fun we had together, as a team, playing in the snow, working on a snow fort!

Spot Reduction Is A Lie!

Please welcome this weeks guest post from Dr Fitness! Missed last weeks article? Click on Fitness menu bar to read last weeks article about Death to the 5 lb’r.

It’s nice to think about. I’m sure even you’ve thought about it before. Being able to simply exercise a certain body part a lot, and lose fat in that area. How many pieces of late-night T.V. infomercial junk have we been exposed to over the years that have promised us this. From the Thigh Master to the Ab Dolly to creams that’ll melt the fat off wherever you rub it in, we’ve all been lied to. I know, I know. How could Suzanne Somers have lied to me…I thought we were friends?!

Whether it’s your love handles, or flabby arms, or your inner thighs, we’ve had an endless list of D-list celebrities/pseudo-act-like-they-know-what-they’re-talking-about-wanna-be-fitness-experts hook us the cheesiest gadgets. And who could blame ‘em? The scam works every time and they end up making 6 or 7 figures in the process. When will we ever learn?

Someday, you’re gonna have to face the facts – you can’t spot reduce.

So the logical question is, “Why can’t I spot reduce?”

The answer is pretty simple really. Your body loses weight proportionally. When you lose 2% body fat from your arms, you’ll lose 2% body fat around your waist.

Think of a bath tub. Now take a cup and scoop out some water. Is there a “hole” where you scooped the water from? Of course not. The level of the water drops as a whole, not just from one spot. And so it is with the body. When we lose a pound of fat, that pound came from everywhere in your body, not just from one spot.

While this may not be what you want to hear, this is actually a good thing! Now you don’t have to waste your time doing 500 crunches in hopes of losing fat in just your abs. Instead, you can focus your time on exercises that actually build muscle and burn more calories.

But the reality of fat loss is much more than just the exercises you do. In fact, about 80% of your fat loss success has nothing to do with exercise at all, and has absolutely nothing to do with the gym. Your success will be determined in the…kitchen!

That’s right. Your diet is what will either make or break your fat loss success. Simply put, you can’t out-train a crappy diet! Damn those laws of thermodynamics!

If you exercise 5 days a week, and burn 3500 calories in that time, while still going out to eat or drink 3-5 times a week, you’re not gonna lose any weight. And if you do, it’s gonna take forever!

Until you’ve got your diet under control, don’t expect to reach your goals any time soon.

By now you’re probably saying to yourself, “so what do I eat then?”

The diet I recommend for fat loss is so simple, a caveman could do it.

In fact, that’s exactly the type of diet I recommend. The caveman diet. Best part is, you don’t need a huge forehead to do it!

For me, the caveman diet is pretty easy. You only eat what a caveman would be exposed to. Meats of all kinds, veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds and water. The closer to Mother Nature, the better. If it comes in a box, has ingredients you can’t pronounce, or is processed in any way, it’s a no-no.

Now, I know what your thinking. “I don’t see dairy/chocolate/favorite dessert on this menu!”

Well, first off, cavemen didn’t have access to that kind of food. And second, we’re talkin’ about fat loss! If that’s what you want, do it. No excuses. No shortcuts. Simply set your mind on your goal and follow through.

Besides, it’s not for the rest of your life. Just until you’ve reached your goals. Then you can have a little more room to add in those “cheat” foods. But until then, no cheat meals. They just serve to detract you from what’s important – reaching your goals.

DR Fitness – “Get Your Fitness On!”

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