The Stubborn, Strong Willed & Determined Child

I have no clue where my youngest gets his stubborn, strong willed and determined attitude from. Couldn’t be his mother. Nope. Not at all.

It’s great to have those skills in life, maybe when you are grown and trying to be successful in working from home or working in general, however, when you have mastered those personality traits at age four, it can be a nightmare for the parental figures.

Case in point. When the four year old doesn’t want to sleep. He doesn’t sleep. My other son was recommended children’s benadryl then later on melatonin but I obviously don’t know the dose of melatonin for the four year old and wouldn’t give that without the recommendation from the pediatrician. Dangerous stuff when not used properly. Children’s benadryl on the other hand has been recommended in part time doses by the pediatrician. I know my four year old’s dose due to the wasp attack during soccer season. The problem I have with using any sleep help is that I don’t want my kid to think he “needs” that to sleep, and since I have tried it a few times he seems to beg for “sleep medicine” when he is having a difficult time sleeping.

I refuse. Flat out refuse to give my kid benadryl because he asks for it and will sing, rub his back, his head, lay with him if need be and not give him that. No way, no how am I going to raise a medicine addicted kid when I barely ever take medicine my own self. So the challenges at bedtime and occasionally during the day have been that my four year old is scared of the dark, scared to be alone in a room even during daylight hours and is seeing shadows that spook him. Even though my four year old can clearly tell me the shadows are from various toys, his bed posts or even his own self, he is still scared.

I recall my daughter going through this same phase, thankfully her phase was due to sleep apnea with enlarged adenoids and tonsils. They were removed. She was better. K-man doesn’t seem to have this issue. He is just plain out right scared or being determined to get into my bed, because he knows Mama is exhausted and will so let him in her bed if the situation doesn’t get resolved within about an hours time.

I am working on being stubborn, strong willed and determined when it comes to bedtime with this kid, but it’s difficult. Hopefully this weekend I can catch up on sleep and come back swinging on Monday night when bedtime rolls around. Every other night I have an issue with this kid. Every other day I have an issue with him too with the fact that he isn’t practicing good safety rules when walking near roads and crossing roads. I end up forcing him to hold my hand while he kicks and screams. I explain to him “I would rather you be safe so hold my hand, flip out if you need to, but I am not letting go”. What does the four year old reply with? “I am not moving until you let go of my hand”.

It’s a mom vs four year old stand off every other day, but I am winning so far and I will succeed in showing him who da Mama is….

Someone Let Us Get Some Sleep

Sleeping family
Image by moochida via Flickr

I am usually not one to vent, but had to get this out … well because if I don’t I will go crazy! Life has been getting to me, or rather the lack of sleep in my life has been getting to me, and I really needed to get this out!

I tell you life was soooo much easier when I had one child. My first born was so easy, she would sleep until I woke up, eat when I ate, and pretty much do ANYTHING I wanted at the moment I wanted it done. Now bring two boys into the family … ages 2 years 10 months and 10 months. One will be 3 on August 13th the other 1 on August 19th. Two years apart and both boys.

Neither boy enjoys sleeping, seriously! I have AJ on melatonin to go to sleep, and Baby K is still sleeping in our bed to avoid the two hours of fighting with a 10 month old to sleep in his crib. Yeah, this life is starting to get annoying and frustrating! I am often found wishing the boys were more like their older sister, who is pretty easy to get along with – if you take away the occasional girly DRAMA.

Baby K will sleep soundly most of the night and into the morning IF there is complete silence – which means do not allow the dog to bark, do not allow AJ to wake up doing his odd noise he makes every hour, do not allow Ki into the room to give me a hug or a kiss mid night and certainly, whatever you do, do NOT get up to go pee in the middle of the night … or else baby K will be up and ready to move for the day!

AJ on the other hand, can sleep through noise usually, but for some reason he has been having trouble sleeping through the night. Originally he was overly hyper and would not settle for sleep, now he is settling for sleep and has a bedtime routine, however, it seems he is unable to sleep sound longer than 1-2 hours at a time. He can get himself back to sleep, but he is yelling Mama or Dadda every couple of hours which wakes all of us up.

Lucky for my oldest, she is a sound sleeper. You could seriously bang cymbals by her head and she would stay sleeping. I have never understood this, but she has been this way since day 1.

I am beginning to wonder if being a light sleeper is just a “boy thing”. Really – the boys are the only ones who sleep so lightly. Although I love all three of my children dearly, I am really getting frustrated with the whole … “IF one boy wakes up … the OTHER boy wakes up” routine that has become my life. I am crying most mornings, middle of the day and even when my husband comes home from work I am in tears.

It is really frustrating to want some sleep and know that 6 days a week, over 50 hours a week – I AM ALONE … the boys are my world all these hours. My oldest is in school and goes to her Dad’s a couple nights a week, so really it’s the boys that are driving me crazy. They are keeping me up, they are not getting good sleep, and there fore both the boys and myself are GRUMPY with capital letters.

I am looking, searching, yearning for an answer to find a better way to get some sleep. I would love to have just one day where someone would come to the house, play with the boys ALL DAY, and allow me to curl up in bed and snooze for a whole day! Yes that means I literally want to waste a WHOLE DAY sleeping – oh that would be grand! I would love for a way to allow both boys and myself to sleep a whole day – it can not be any good for them not getting much sleep!

So do you all have a child that will not sleep? Do you have a child that when he or she is awake – the whole house is awake?! Gosh I hope I am the only one, but in some ways I hope there are others who can lend me some advice on what they do to get some sleep!

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