{Personal Story of the Past} I was That Little Girl #divorce #parents #abuse

Divorce or separation hits everyone differently. This goes with death and birth. Each human being, whether grown adult or child, responds to life’s challenges quite differently. Being unique is what sets us apart from each other, yet also makes us work together very well. The story I wish to share today is from my memory banks of many moons ago.

A young girl, around age 12, was found with two parents being divorced. While this young girl could totally see that her parents were better off apart due to a multitude of reasons, she still missed her Dad terribly. This little girl was used to having her Dad be the “fun parent” and here she was with her Mother who wasn’t known as the fun parent. You see, when you are 12, the fun parent is the one who gets all the credit and love, it’s just how life for a child usually goes.

But back to my story…

The young girl felt something missing, this split family life wasn’t appealing to her but the idea of her parents being together again wasn’t any better sounding. Every other weekend with Dad and the remainder of the time was spent with her Mom or other adult family members along with her younger sister. As time went on this young girl was also made to have her younger sister go to sleep overs with her and always be by her side, essentially this young girl had to grow up faster than she could ever be ready for at age 12.

Beautiful Sunset Picture

The sadness, the frustration, the hiding in a book so that she didn’t have to face reality started to happen. Eventually this young girl started wearing provocative clothing and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Sure, the young girl got yelled at, spanked, grounded, etc but she would just run away. No one could stop her, at least that was her mindset. Except that one time when her Grandmother showed up on her boyfriends doorstep, she was about the age of 14 maybe 15 and she had run away to “live with her boyfriend”. This young girls’ grandmother was not having that and came to rescue this child from her boyfriends parent’s home.  Eventually the girl and her mother were forced to speak to each other and the Grandmother tried to get the young girl to fully see her actions as being disrespectful and not okay at her age. Sadly, this young girl didn’t really see the meaning being all of it, she, after all, knew it all. As most children think they do.

This young girl spent most of her young teenage years drinking alcohol, eventually smoking cigarettes and getting into groups of the wrong crowd. This young girl didn’t feel love for herself and she needed to feel love. The clothing she wore and the attention she sought were that of a negative nature, many men {far older than her} did take advantage of her and this led down a bad path. Saying no didn’t matter, because she wanted to feel that love. The wrong love, that us as adults knows is wrong, but children think is true love. In reality it was sexual abuse, grown men taking advantage of a broken young girl who was around age 13 – 14 at this point in time. Reaching out to men for physical loving was what brought her down a path that taught her to manipulate, use men and get what you need from them. There was a detachment within this young girl so deep that no one would be able to get through to her for many years.

Sadly, this young girl learned that love is what other people give you; be it sex, money, food, a place to live, whatever, this young girl learned that she could only feel love if she had something she wanted or needed. This young girl was damaged and hurting inside deeper than anyone realized. This young girl, aside from being emotionally damaged, did great in school. Getting honor roll and/or high honors was the norm for this girl, even during her all night out binge drinking nights, she would still get up, go to school and get good grades.

Finally this young girl became a Mom. Looking into the eyes of this sweet baby girl, made this Mom realize just who she needed to be and wanted to be for the chubby little baby she held in her arms. From that day forward this, no longer little girl, grew up. There were some bumps, it took some therapy and putting herself around positive, loving people. It took time for this Mom to forgive the mistakes others had made, to accept that other people cannot be changed unless they want to change themselves. It took a lot of writing and a lot of prayer, but this young girl grew up to be a positive influence on her children and never looked back again.

While this is a happy ending to what could have ended in teen pregnancy or far worse, STD’s, drug abuse, and more; this young girl was a fighter from day one, it just took becoming a mother as an adult to get her to realize just how much potential she had within her own self. This young girl handled the divorce of her parents differently than others may have, but in all honesty, there is a lot of young girls out there who start down this path and it doesn’t end as happily. The best thing any divorced parents can do is to be involved, to step up to parent harder, monitor your children, keep their safety and best interests at heart. Times during separation and divorce make children more vulnerable to bad people, girls do not have to walk down this path of confusion, just be there for them. Hug them. Love them. Build up their self confidence. And don’t look back…

Just a Small List of What I’m Thankful For in My Life

I am thankful for so many things, mainly each morning I wake up breathing but to go further into that I wanted to share a list of things that I am thankful for. It’s always nice to remind yourself what you have in your life to be thankful for, so here goes —

Happy Friday thankful for what you have

  1. I am thankful for having met a man who, when he wraps his arms around me, I feel complete. It’s a feeling I have never felt and it’s so difficult to explain in words, but it is a very secure, happy, complete feeling when he just wraps his arms around me for a hug.
  2. I am thankful for having open minded, caring, compassionate, loving children who are willing to realize Mom isn’t perfect. They love unconditionally because that is how children should be. I am proud of who they are.
  3. I am thankful for my younger sister (and only sibling), without her I don’t know how I would have survived some of the teen bullying years I went through. My sister has done a lot for me to support me, help me grow and get me to come out of my shell a bit more.
  4. I am thankful for forgiveness; both the ability to forgive and the ability of others to forgive me.
  5. I am thankful for friendship; the friends I have are there no matter what. I have gained friendships that don’t require daily communication, rather we can go months without talking then pick up the phone as if we just talked yesterday.
  6. I am thankful for the ability to work from home, since 2006 I have done direct sales then in 2008 I started blogging from home. This has been a blessing as my children grew and needed more of my time than a regular job would allow for.
  7. I am thankful for family; no matter how often we talk or don’t talk I love that I have family. I still have my great grandparents alive and grand father on my father’s side. I have recently realized that some never even knew their great grandparents.
  8. I am thankful for two new amazing children; my boyfriend’s children have welcomed me into their lives in such a great way. I think of them as my own children and treat them as if they are my own, they have a big place in my heart.
  9. I am thankful for my online support group; in times of hardship and sadness or even happiness I know I can turn to my online friends for help in moving forward or sharing happiness with.
  10. Last but not least, I am thankful for having a wonderful boyfriend who I hope to marry someday (in the far future), he really makes life so much easier without even realizing that he did it and my kids adore him too. He really just makes it easy for me to be in this relationship, it’s how I feel when I’m around him … just something about it.

There you have it, a wonderful short but sweet list of things I am thankful for. Of course I could go on and on but I think that about sums it up for today!

What is something you are thankful for?

A Wonderful Birthday Celebration of Gram Turning 70 Years Young

Saturday the family on my Mom’s side met up at my Grandmother’s home in NH where we were set to surprise her on her special day, the day she turned 70 years young! Who arrived were my Gram’s mother & father in law, Gram’s husband, my Mom & her husband, my 2 aunts and their husbands as well as 2 cousins and 1 cousin’s girlfriend plus my three kids and me. It was a wonderful day full of laughter, smiles and a grand ole time.

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It was wonderful to capture my Gram’s smile on her face as she laughed while attempting to blow out her own candles on her cake, she even lit them herself. Gram doesn’t fool around, she gets things done. Always having been a go getter and hard worker it was really nice to see her spoiled with love, family and good food on her special day.

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Happy 70th Gram, I love you so much and am grateful to have been able to celebrate with you and the fam on your special day!

My Grampa is Getting Older

My Grampa on my Dad’s side is 90 or close to it, maybe even in his early 90′s, honestly I am not quite sure his age but I am quite sure that he is at an age where he should be sitting back, relaxing and enjoying these last years of his life. While I will be super sad when my Grampa does pass because I love him dearly, he has lived a super long life and done so much. My Grampa is the one who taught me how to play solitaire and even took out the little kids section of the Sunday newspaper each year, well into my teen years because that was his habit to do so for me.

While I love my Grampa dearly, he is getting older. The visits to the hospital are happening every so often and honestly there isn’t much left to do except keep him comfortable and know that his time may be coming. I just wish my stubborn farming Grampa would relax a bit, then I think about it, he has spent his life farming so to not farm would probably not work well for his stubborn nature. I love that my family has the stubborn trait, but I think if I were his age I would be happy to finally just relax, enjoy the down time I didn’t have much of in my younger years. Not my Grampa, he still gets up and drives and even works on the farm here and there.

Relatives getting older is just a matter of life, it happens, not that it makes it any easier to handle. It is an emotional time when your elders get to the age of my Grampa and need extra care or should simply be utilizing caregiver services instead of working the farm like he does. There is no telling your elders what to do, they are their own person and I do believe being on the farm makes my Grampa happy, so that is what he does.  Grampa was in the hospital again, last I heard, he had another heart attack, his sugar was through the roof and so here I sit just waiting for another update.

Of course this post was written just as a found out, but probably will go live on site after I get another update about him. It is sad watching our elders grow, but it’s happy knowing that they have lived a long life and that there is care out there for them to have as they get older.

Saturday March 9 Giveaway Linky #linky #giveaways #contest

Every Saturday you can list your giveaways below, today is March 9, 2013 and I welcome you to Happily Blended. Feel free to check out my other blog posts and giveaways listed on site if you wish, use the category drop down menu on the right hand side to find what topic you wish to read about today!

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