I, like most of you, have been through a lot of experiences both great and some bad. I, like most of you, have learned from these mistakes and do my best to spread my advice on what to do as a means to assist others in seeing a different side of their scenario. Some people love the advice, while others think I am meddling in their world. You see, I am great at lending just the right advice to others but not always one to take my own advice. I think that’s called being human.
I have a lot going on in my world right now. In December I accepted a marriage proposal and have yet to really think much about the actual wedding planning. There are a lot of other things that weigh more heavily on my mind and heart than a wedding. Children for example. There is a lot going on behind the scenes.
I wish I could share every last detail, because I am sure someone out there is dealing with similar issues, but alas I cannot share details. All I can say is that co-parenting should be easier than most people make it out to be. That frustrates me beyond belief at how so many fail at co-parenting their children, in return the children pay the ultimate price and anyone else who is part of those children’s lives. Sigh.
I think my simple most non-complicated piece of advice I can lend you all, no matter what you are dealing with, is this;
Try not to be quick in reacting with emotional responses. Take time to think, with an open mind, where other people may be coming from with what they are saying or doing in life. Take time to realize that, while you think you are doing it all right, the other person/people may think you are doing it all wrong. If you can keep a positive mindset, speak with heart felt opinions, and keep an open mind about the other side of the story, then I think you can survive nearly any unpredicted scenario that plays out in your life.
My daughter is my first child, she will be 9 years old in October and I will be 30 in October. As I watch her grow and listen to her attitude of an emotional little girl sounding more like a teen I am realizing how difficult this parenting deal can certainly be! Since things get difficult because my daughter tends to have the “only child syndrome” when she gets back from her Dad’s house, I tend to cherish smiley moments more than one would normally cherish them.
It is extremely difficult to co-parent in a positive way, I will not get into the issues I am having right now with co-parenting because, well quite frankly it’s not fair to write about those issues on here. All I can say is that my daughter must go from my house with two siblings to her father’s house with no siblings. I can’t imagine this transition to my house after being an only child all weekend can be easy on her. I am working on trying to find a way to make the transition easier because it’s all on me to make this transition easier for her.
I also don’t care for excuses so this means, even though I am well aware that there may be an attitude issue when she gets back from her Dad’s, I don’t allow any excuses for her behavior. Such as most recently closing her ears while I was speaking to her about something. I think that was very rude! She replied that she could still hear me, but my point was that it is rude to plug your ears when a parent is speaking to you about something. It is more the point behind the action rather than her really hearing me or not.
Anyways …. as my daughter gets older times get tougher. She is simply too old for her britches as they say and this makes parenting so difficult. I want badly to teach my daughter that love is unconditional but when you have a shared visitation plan going on, well it makes it difficult when the two parents are parenting somewhat differently. My daughter is currently struggling with the fact that even though a parent is upset with her, they still love her. A lesson that needs to be taught to her and fast is that parents forever love their children no matter if they get grounded or not.
How do you teach your child that love is unconditional? That you still love them even though they were reprimanded for being rude or not listening to you. I use words and hugs, but I think more than words should be used to establish this point behind unconditional love.