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brandyellen

NH Mama loving life. Co-Author (w/ my daughter) of Positive Girl - The Power of Your Thoughts. Fueled by coffee, great convos & optimistic thoughts! Brandy Ellen, Virtual Assistant is a work from home entrepreneur. Question about this post or something found within it? Read my Disclosure Policy as well as Terms of Use.

26 thoughts on “How Mort Fertel Gives Insight to my Divorce”

  1. I’m not married, though I do live with my partner – thankfully so far we have grown together and although we have had our bumps they have turned out OK on the other side. x

    1. Thanks for your comment, I agree there will always be bumps and curve balls thrown in life – but what matters is you two grow together! Glad your relationship works well for you!!

  2. Marriage is a ton of work. I divorced my first husband after I caught him cheating. Then he had the nerve to lie about it too. We were very young when we got married and had two kids. I was wrong on some things too. There was some emotional abuse as well. It took me a long time to let go, forgive, and move forward.

    I’m now remarried. Things are so much different too. For the better. 🙂

    1. And sometimes hindsight is 20/20. I was cheated on by my first borns father, although we were never married. Which has led me to co-parenting her since she was just four months old, she will be 14 this year and I am well over that cheating but it never is easy to move on from hurtful situations and sometimes when trust is abused and we are abused – divorce is the only answer. I am wishing you happiness and health in all future relationships!

    1. I love how you stated that, “… there are no days off”. I do think that taking a break from each other can be beneficial but then there’s those two people who simply were just meant to be, no matter the curve balls thrown, they just survive together pushing forward to continue on in marriage. So happy you are about to celebrate 30 years, Congrats!

  3. I’m in the middle of a divorce with two kids that don’t know yet (we’re waiting to tell them after school is out!) Sometimes nothing can be fixed, sometimes things can go so wrong that damage hurts the kids and spouse. While I have forgiven I can’t let go of all the worst I’ve seen in that man. I am not angry anymore, I’m not really anything towards him, I’ve lost all connection. What my goal is now, is to be the best co-parents for the sake of the children. I know in my heart I have tried everything I could, from trying to get my husband to go to parenting classes with me(which was our major problem- he was abusive mainly to our son) to marriage and family counseling 3 separate times over the course of 8 years. You can’t change a person if he/she doesn’t want to… but you can change you and the way you live…

    1. Oh gosh … I hear you. Sometimes it is the end, even in the program Mort Fertel offers — he says try a year, a solid year of trying and if after that, you are still feeling divorce is the answer? Then so be it. A human can only try as hard as they can before all 100% effort has been exhausted. I am wishing your family luck in an easy transition from parenthood together to co-parenting. I have been co-parenting my first born since she was a baby – she is now almost 14 years, wasn’t always easy. Then my sons are 7 and 9 … we’ve been co-parenting for about 5 years without any issues (that’s with my ex husband).. it’s all about keeping the relationship all about the kids only after a divorce.

  4. I’ve never been divorced but can say marriage really is hard work and we did counselling years and years ago after some rough patches. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years this coming November.

  5. The hubby and I have been married for 15 years this June. It hasn’t always been easy but we have our faith and we work through our issues. We are always working on us. Keeping it fresh and fun can be hard but we make sure we get away just the two of us at least a couple times a year and we have a weekly date night too.

    1. Happy 15 years, I do agree that being together for years doesn’t always go smoothly – marriage is work and takes two people working towards a united front, goal and mission to succeed in living life fully together. I certainly think it takes two people with the right mindset to be committed to their vows and withstand all that is tossed at them 🙂

  6. I am currently married and I think the fact that we allow each other space helps a little. We trust each other which is essential. Thanks for telling us about the 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage as so many people will need this at some point.

    1. Divorce just stinks. There’s nothing about it I can say is fun or good, even though mine was relatively easy (no fighting or arguing) … I hope that your new marriage lasts years to come! Any tips on how to make marriage the second time around work better?

  7. Marriage is a lot of hard work.i agree with the growing part. For me, I’m not sure where that leads a person when they are a Christian and they want to grow spiritually, but their partner doesn’t. That one is pretty hard, especially in the divorce department.

    1. You bring good insight, Heather, probably part of your Faith is what holds you two stronger together in many ways. If ever feeling as if one is growing beyond the other, maybe stepping back and focusing on what bonds you two, regardless of individual growth, and find that happy balance in your marriage. Marriage is hard work and while I am divorced, I really believe it takes two people having Faith in their vows. I am sure you will be led in the right direction for your family <3

  8. I am not married yet but this sure could greatly help everybody who’s facing problems in their respective married lives. I didn’t know services like this exist, but this I am glad help is available when it comes to marriage matters.

    1. I will say married or not, some of the services and topics discussed by Mort Fertel actually can benefit any relationship really – even friendship 🙂

  9. The important thing is that you are both there for your kids, even if it means co-parenting. The fact that you were able to put an end to your marriage in amicable terms is also great.

  10. I can see how focusing on the problems caused them to grow and fester. Negativity has a way of doing that – t sneaks up and takes over. :o/

  11. I am not married, never have been, and am not really in a position to consider it, however I do think that relationships can be challenging. You are blending together different personalities, goals, ways of thinking, and sometimes different belief systems. It can take work to blend them together in a way that works without either person losing themselves. I imagine that when you are married (especially when you have been married for a very long time), it is easy to grow apart. So it is good that there are programs out there designed to help people to navigate things.

  12. i have never been married but i know from friends and family members and just watching others around me that marriage is hard work and the work can be rewarding especially if on the same page.

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