AJ’s Counseling Update
Counseling for a young child like Aj who is four years old usually revolves around…
Every year I watch as my children get older and older. We run into family or long time friends that we’ve lost touch with in the stores and the first response is usually “wow so and so is getting so big” or “wow is that the baby?” Yes they are and yes that is the “baby”, not so much of a baby anymore now is he?!
I don’t know about you but it is very annoying to me that while I was growing up weekends were spent sleeping over my grandmother’s house while I played with my Grampa when Gram worked and when Gram was home I hung out with her too! I was very close to my grandmother and my then Grampa. Since then my Gram and Grampa have divorced (he was her second husband but the man I grew to know and love as Grampa), I have had some ups and downs and now I am a married mother of three who works from home and blogs daily. I also volunteer to keep my local PTO’s website up to date, run a virtual assistant business, am Mom to three and not to mention have a husband to tend to.
So when someone tells me they are too busy to stop by to say hello, but are not too busy to drive past my house on their way to another relatives house reality is I don’t think “being busy” is a good enough excuse to not stop in and say hello. I could see if I lived in the boonies out in the middle of no where and you had to drive a few miles out of your way to see us, then maybe, just maybe the excuse that you are too busy to stop by and form a relationship with my children would work … maybe!
I am guilty of not visiting my aunt who lives about 2 hours away, and she comes to see me often. I don’t use any excuses other than that is a 2 hour drive and I personally despise driving especially this time of year. Winter time I pretty much hibernate until the kids beg and plead with me to go sliding or have a snowball fight. After we play in the snow I am back in my house sipping hot chocolate and taking a nice hot shower to warm up!
Long story short, all of the above is simply a matter of life for many. All too often I am seeing children walking the streets on the weekends, young children too may I add! I am seeing families who have no support system, I watch the news as I see parents are abusing their children and stressing out so badly that the kids have no happy place to be. It’s sad, but reality is there seems to be no family togetherness anymore. Well we have our immediate family, that would be the Mom, the Dad, the step parent, and the siblings or whatever it is that makes up your household, but we don’t have the “family” supporting each other.
In some ways I don’t envy my parents at all, but in a lot of ways thinking back to my earlier years as a young child spending summers away at my aunt’s house, every other weekend at my father’s house and plenty of weekends with my Gram and/or Grampa, I do envy the alone time my parents were able to have! There are days I am crying to my husband telling him how angry I am that not one person will take our sons overnight, not ONE. I just do not understand, I mean I do complain about how AJ acts out often so I can see someone being scared of taking him.
There was that time my Gram did try to take AJ overnight and well he was a baby and he CRIED AND CRIED but the problem ended up being that he was hungry. We had forewarned my Gram just how much AJ ate back then, but apparently she didn’t believe us! Seriously he was a CHUNK, someday I will have to dig up a picture and share it here, he was as round as round can be! He has thinned out, he has grown taller and even though he gives ME a hard time all day he has been wonderful with my sister in law when she babysits (a few times a year).
I really wish family would stop using the excuse that they are busy, that there is too much going on for them to take the time to stop by and visit. They don’t have to stay long, stop by and have a cup of tea or coffee, sit back and enjoy the fun times and laughter that the kids can bring to your life. Just come by and visit so the next time I mention a family member’s name I don’t get a blank stare like “who is that Mama?” … I just want my children to have a family support system, I want my children to have some level of the family closeness that I had. I just want a break too, so coming together as a family and engaging with my children to form a relationship with them so that on occasion they would actually want to sleep over your house … I mean is that really too much to ask for? Maybe if more families took the time for each other we wouldn’t have our children growing up to be so bitter, angry and lost? Don’t get me wrong many do grow up happy, successful and lead a very positive life, but there are many children out there who are left to fend for themselves because their parents are just plain too stressed out and have no family support system!
Make it a Happy Day!