Nothing is more euphoric feeling than that in love jolt that appears immediately upon falling in love with another human being. This feeling of being in love makes you do crazy things and gives you the urge to hike the tallest mountain to profess your love to this person. When two people are in love they are happy to share those experiences and feelings with another person. It’s not so easy to describe the feeling when you wonder if you are no longer in love. We all want to be happy and make others happy, sadly when those happy feelings disappear it’s more difficult to express how we are feeling.
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Reality is all relationships go through hurdles, life and love are difficult. It’s one thing to be going through a rocky road that you both come out on the other side together from, yet it’s a completely different scenario when you two have fallen out of love. What hurts the most is when one person has fallen out of love while the other is still deeply in love. How can you learn to put your finger on exactly what is going on emotionally within your soul right now? What are some sure tell signs to look for to know whether you have fallen out of love or truly just going through a rough patch?! While I don’t have all of the answers for you, I can shed some light on some signs that you are falling out of love versus just going through a rough patch:
- Wandering Eyes – while many will agree looking at others is part of human nature, it’s when the wandering eyes are seeking more than just the surface glance. If you or your partner are found often fantasizing about others in ways that actually turn you on more than being with your partner, and you truly desire to find someone else that looks more appetizing to you, then you may have fallen out of love.
- Butterflies Are Gone – those amazing fluttery feelings you get with the first touch, the first kiss and everything involved with the euphoric feeling of falling in love has disappeared. No longer do you get those butterflies when your partner sends you a long romantic text, or a special romantic gesture. There’s a numbness that has fallen steadily upon you and you don’t feel special any longer.
- Sex is Gone – once the sexual contact of two people in a relationship has disappeared you may as well kick your relationship to the curb. Sex is a huge part of being connected together and it’s a great stress reliever too. If you no longer have an intimate relationship with your partner, you can be 100% confident there is no longer love between the two of you, because when one loves another they make effort to put the moves on their partner when laying down to bed together.
- It’s a One Way Street – your partner is no longer trying anything and it’s just one of you doing the hard work to make sure sex happens, affection happens and conversations happen. If your relationship has become what feels one-sided, such as they expect you to do certain sexual favors on demand but forget it when you have needs to be met; you can rest assured you are out of love or will be soon if you continue on this path.
- More Best Friend Than Lovers – if the two of you are more besties than actual lovers, it may be time to move on from the relationship. While your partner should be your friend, there should be more to the relationship than just the friendships status. Once you and your partner start to feel more as friends than true lovers as a whole, you two are no longer in love.
I shared this information today because I am all about having people live their own definition of happiness. If you have learned that the person you are with no longer matches the path you are going down, it’s best to open up the conversation and discuss the issues at hand now before you both grow bitter and angry. Living a fake life to keep your partner happy, when you are dying inside, is no way for anyone to live and if you truly have love from this person, they will hear you out and understand even if they don’t agree with whatever you have going on. We can’t help how we feel or don’t feel towards another person, but we at least owe them the respect to shed light on our out of love feeling as soon as it arrives.
I don’t see many people falling in love and staying in love for the long haul. It’s alarming to be a part of that statistic, I never thought I would be. But, life goes on. Kick off the dust and keep moving forward.
I appreciate that your post isn’t full of negativity. Sometimes people just fall out of love without there being some horrific falling out.
I think love and in love are two different things. They change over time as we grow and change.
communication is key to a relationship that grows over time. While love changes throughout the course of a relationship, it doesn’t have to mean the end of things if you keep trying to connect with each other.
I think this is an excellent post. I love that you addressed your points in a way that’s constructive for anyone who might need to read it.
After surviving a bad divorce I know how hard marriage can be. I’m happy to say that now my marriage is with my very best friend which I believe to be the foundation of a strong marriage.