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NH Mama loving life. Co-Author (w/ my daughter) of Positive Girl - The Power of Your Thoughts. Fueled by coffee, great convos & optimistic thoughts! Brandy Ellen, Virtual Assistant is a work-from-home entrepreneur. Question about this post or something found within it? Read my Disclosure Policy as well as Terms of Use.

35 thoughts on “But I can’t Do Routine, Because I am not That Person #parenthood”

  1. My youngest has ADD and a very tight routine is what works best for him. I think each family has to do what’s right For them!

  2. You are one amazing mama girl! Raising a child with autism is really difficult. Keep up the good work girl!

  3. As a former Special Ed Teacher I have worked with many children with Autism, and they are very visual and routines do help to keep them more calm. I can empathize with your trepidation at the changes that would bring to your life, as I am not one for rigid structure either! It is not easy!

  4. Autism is such a horrible thing for the one suffering with it and for his or her family. I think its great that you’ve been able to give your son all the love he needs in an environment that helps him thrive.

  5. You are so strong to push through and create that environment. It sound like it’s really paying off, too. I know that makes you happy.

  6. It’s apparent how much you love your children, by adapting to their needs. So many people try to get their kids to fit their molds and with some it will work, but for most it will not. I struggle with our older child on an almost daily basis. He is VERY stubborn and headstrong — and our personalities clash a lot. I’ve learned to pick my battles and sometimes go with the flow for both his sake and mine!

  7. Routine and planning were not something that came easily for me either. Slowly but surely I have gotten to like planning and having a calendar to plan things.

  8. My son is very into routine and planning. Making sure we do things consistently is important to keep him from having anxiety.

  9. I’m so glad you worked it out. We are raising our grandson and I’m old!!! Well, not too old, but it’s hard for me to keep up with him sometimes. But we do what we have to to make sure he gets a full life that he deserves.

  10. I also have a son that is high functioning on the autism spectrum and works best with a routine, but I absolutely crave a routine as well. In fact, being without one would drive my OCD insane! You rock for being a mom that is not afraid to make adjustments.

  11. I can only imagine trying to do the daily mama grind then add an autistic child to the mi. You are doing amazing!

  12. I had great routines when they were kids but now that they are older, it’s a free for all in my house

  13. I’m impressed with the way you and the family has adapted to make adjustments for Aj. Understanding that everyone has different needs is a big step and you all did it.

  14. Big hugs to you mama! You deserve recognition for all you do for your kids. It sure isn’t easy raising a child, let alone one with autism, but it sounds like you have a system that’s really working for your family.

  15. Looks to me like you’re doing a fine job raising these kids. Parenthood teaches us as much as it does the kids. We find out just how much we’re able to do.

  16. Parenting is a challenge for any parent regardless of our circumstances, but you were handed something not everyone is prepared for. I do believe that God only gives us what we can handle. Plus since God entrusted you with these three blessings, then I know he saw something in you that even you didn’t know was there. It looks like you’re doing. They seem pretty happy and proud.

    I know many families will be glad that you posted this encouraging post.

  17. I think every parent needs to be open to changing things and adapting to the needs of their child. Having a child with special needs only makes that more important.

  18. My brother is 28 with mild autism. I know autism is a growing epidiemic unfortunately for many families but I have lived with it for 20+ years. My brother is a routine and repetitive person even at 28! He loves his 80s music and his same tv shows he watch every day. Sometime my mom still somewhat tries to break him out of his habit to make him do “normal” things but my brother only tolerates it for so long. The moral of the story with people with autism they are okay with repitition it actually makes them extremely happy. I am glad you are able to adapt to your son’s routine.

  19. You’re doing such a great job, mom! It’s not easy raising a child with Autism, and you’re doing a good job.

  20. I grew up with parents who had a different parenting style than I needed as a child. We made it work, but I’m grateful my parents, like you, were willing to adapt to my needs.

  21. I don’t know a lot about autisim, but I have read a little. I don’t know if I would have been able to do what you do.

  22. You sound like an awesome mom and you are doing a great job. I don’t have kids yet but am so in awe of all that moms do.

  23. You are a wonderful mom doing what’s best and suitable to your family! That’s what matters. We try to have schedules and more times than not we break away from the schedule!

  24. My best friends daughter is five and is Autistic and non verbal. It is hard to see my friend struggle to keep a routine with having four kids. It makes such a difference to Krystina so it is worth all the hard work.

  25. I know how you feel about the tight schedules. I’m lucky that my daughter, like yours, is very go with the flow. But I’m glad you’re all making it work. At the end of the day that’s really the best we can do.

  26. Routine can be a GREAT thing with kids, especially with kids that NEED it! My son does WAY better with life on a routine, for the most part our day is planned the day before and mornings and nighttime are always the same. Summer is the hardest for us with school being out, we’re starting to adjust to a new routine now!

  27. I have a super-smart 4-year-old, and already I have learned to try and adapt. He has SPD and we have purchased a tent, a weighted blanket, and countless hours of therapy. I never thought I’d be able to adapt, but it amazing how easy it is when you’re trying to do what’s best for your kids.

  28. Our 8 year old is mild Aspy. We have to have a super rigid schedule for him at home as well. He sort of helped form it as he always does things in specific orders because of OCD. Get up, eat, watch his favorite show, brush teeth, etc… if he strayed from his routine it was chaos. During the school year is actually easier for us as we have to stick to a time schedule and summer can get a bit hairy now and then. You’re doing a great job! The longer they feel comfort in knowing what to expect and can find comfort in consistency, the easier the off schedule days will become! You got this!

  29. Being a parent is always jumping through hoops. Sounds like he’s got you in his corner to help him navigate a bumpy road! That’s what’s really important.

  30. Way to work together! Such a wonderful post and great for others to learn about different family situations.

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