Hi. My name is Brandy and I was spanked.
Boy was I spanked! I was a little turkey, who loved to get a rise out of my parents, sadly my mother tended to get the most of my flack, sorry Mom. I liked to test boundaries, run my mouth, oh and of course tell the man I called my Step Dad that he was not my father and had zero rights in enforcing any rules. I was a little booger head.
Going back a bit further, when my parents were still married, I do not remember much of that part of my childhood, which sadly was most of it. My parents divorced when I was around 11 or 12 years old and I tend to remember 95% of the happy times with only a small 5% of the bad times. I do recall that belts were used as a form of spanking and at one point a wooden spoon made to dry mittens met my bum a few times.
Usually, I was spanked with the good ole fashion hand; one or more smacks to my bum was all it was supposed to make stop me from running my mouth or to never make whatever mistake I had made again. Did it work? Not really. Do I feel like I was abused? Not at all.
You see, I was spanked not abused and that is exactly how I feel spanking was used; as a form of discipline. While I can respect that is how I was raised and can see a small reason why some parents still use this form today, I am not the spanking parent. I am more the parent who wants to teach a lesson behind making mistakes and feel spanking teaches no lesson. I am not going to tell you that my hand has never met my children’s’ bum with a quick smack from time to time in their lives, but overall, that method was tested out a couple of times and I realized it was not the answer for my family.
I am a parent who prefers to use time out, natural consequences and taking away of privileges or special loved items as a mean to teach boundaries, consistency and ensure expectations are met with my children. This is just what works for me and has worked well for my own trio, but that doesn’t mean I give two cents about how you discipline your child, because to some spanking is a form of discipline.
I think spanking got a bad rap because far too many parents were spanking children out of anger, when you are angry or frustrated at a situation, even at a child, your emotions tend to be on high kilt, this means spanking in that moment could turn from discipline to abuse in about 2.2 seconds. I will tell you, I have been spanked hard by hand, belt, wooden spoon, whatever and not one time thinking back did I feel I was abused. Ever.
So why is spanking your child so taboo these days? Why does spanking get this “abuse” reputation? Enlighten me … I am asking as a non-spanking Mom to understand why this option is so taboo …