I really do enjoy being a mother, there is not one thing about the type of Mom I am that I would change. With that being said, each month, about a week before my menstrual cycle it seems I get a bit hormonal. I know, shocking, right?! With that week comes this overwhelmed mindset where my lovely anxiety takes over and I start getting upset about things that normally wouldn’t’ even bother me.
Take this week for example, I am thinking about the appointments we had this week then looking at next week thinking, “OMG how in the world are we going to make it to each appointment and have bedtime routine on track?!” It is killing me thinking about that, so I decided to be stronger than my hormones, best I can, and not think about what is coming up and have Faith things will simply work out. I am just frustrated this week because I look at my life and when I really view all that my life entails, I realized something …
I am always giving to others and rarely asking for others time in return.
While I am a giver by nature and truly enjoy being kind as well as being a mom, being a Mom has truly been the best job I have ever held in my 33 years of life, I am still sad this time of the month when I think about how much time and energy I devote to parenthood. It is far more than most that are suppose to be helping me. It isn’t that the other parents or people who should be assisting in this don’t want to, it’s just that sometimes schedules change and life changes so then I am the one being relied on as I will always make sure things happen the way they should. I am always the one who makes sure kids are to and from where they need to be; whether it be appointments, entertainment or whatnot, the kids always come first for me. It just is my natural instincts.
I just wish sometimes, maybe one week a month, like this week when clearly my hormones are messing with me, that someone else can take the drivers seat. Someone else can make sure these kids get to appointments and get to bed on time and I can simply relax and be the fun person without any worries, concerns or responsibilities. I am always the responsible one, do not get me wrong, my children have lovely fathers and I am not meaning to put them down at all. It is just that right now I am feeling quite overwhelmed and each month, when that time comes around again, I feel the same way. Being a female is really over rated, I wish that having your menstrual cycle didn’t mean messing with hormones every month, but it is what it is.
I will move on and be just fine, but right now, in this moment, I can’t help but feel bitter at the freedoms many get when all I want is a little bit of sleep time or time to breath because there are so many things going on. I am the shoulder for so many and there are some amazing friends who are a shoulder for me too, I just need a day to recoup from the long week is all and a week to get on from this “time of the month”.
Do you ever feel outside of your own self when it’s that time of the month? I swear, I am a different person completely when that time comes around …