What Guys Want: How to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

Featuring an article from Amy Banks: What Guys Want: How to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

You’ve been away from your ex long enough to know that he’s still the one. He really is. You given it a lot of thought and despite your differences, you want him back. The problem is, you’re not sure how to go about it.

You broke up for a reason — or reasons — and now you don’t know what you could give him that would win him back. If you find yourself asking, “What can I do to get my ex back,” then read these few simple things that all men want in a relationship, and try them. You’ll be surprised how well he responds to you when you give him the things he craves.

Featuring an article from Amy Banks: What Guys Want: How to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend


Respect in a relationship seems like such a no-brainer: of course he wants respect. Everyone does. But even though he may want respect from his close friends or coworkers, no one’s respect will have quite an impact on his outlook and attitude as the woman in his life.

But how do you show a man that you respect him?

Simply put, men want you to give their thoughts, ideas, actions and feelings merit. He wants you to consider all that he has to say or do with a positive outlook. This will show him that you take him seriously and it will validate him on a personal level. He will equate the respect you show him with love and the bond between the two of you will grow stronger. By showing respect, he will know that you have his best interests at heart and will be able to open up to you more.


Men tend to be ego driven, and those egos can be fragile. When a man feels like he doesn’t have your approval — about his career, his choices, his ideas — then he can withdraw and feel inadequate.

So if you’re trying to get back with your ex, you must be willing show your approval. When you approve of his life, he will see that you truly love him. Let him know what you love about him: his clothes, his personality, his caring nature. Anything about him that makes him attractive to you should be praised. He will greet it with openness and, if he really is the right man for you, he will respond in kind.

Remember that approval does not mean you should condone ideas and activities that you truly believe will be harmful. Show your approval for the things you do love, and he will be happier for it.

Sexual Connection

Every relationship needs sex in order to survive; it’s part of our human nature. We use sex to express love and passion, but we also use it to show each other that we are comfortable and feel safe. For men, sex is a way to communicate with their partners in ways they are unable to in the everyday relationship.

That’s why it’s so important to have a healthy sexual connection. When he reaches out to you, he wants to know that you are still attracted to him and available. Women, however, may need to feel emotionally available in order to have sex, so sometimes sexual standoffs can occur. While these happen in every relationship, it is beneficial to work through them as quickly as possible and re-establish a sexual connection. Both of you will be happier for it in the long run.


Men want and need encouragement. While it goes hand-in-hand with praise and approval, encouragement shows that you want him to be the person he wants to be, allowing him to feel like he’s in charge of his life and his lover is 100% behind him.

When you encourage him, it makes him feel like anything is possible. He can land that new job, he can reach any goal. So if you want to get your ex back, make sure to encourage him. Tell him that you believe in his dreams and that he can accomplish anything if he tries hard enough. Tell him that you are always in his corner for support and love. Encouragement can also challenge men to set a higher standard in life and in love. And what can be better than that?

Getting back with an ex can be a tough decision to make. If you honestly believe that you should, then try to offer these few things as a promise to what your new relationship will be like. You will both be happier. Promise!

Amy Banks has worked as a relationship therapist for several years. She is a keen Agony Aunt and writes on topics of love, lust and loss, for relationship and lifestyle blogs.

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  1. Honestly I would never be back to an ex. As my moms says never look back. I found my prince charming and he is my world. As you mentioned we have great connection and we care about each other. That is all that counts.

  2. Break ups can be helpful sometimes but most of the time I find they are for a reason. Just my opinion though.

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