I spent a many years, and have made the same mistake over and over again in regards to allowing other people to control my feelings. One thing I remind my friends and children is that no one has the authority to make you feel anything; meaning that feelings are your own, no one else to have. What keeps me moving forward in life is the ability to let emotions be felt, heard and held accountable for, then move on. It is that simple.
The only time that my emotions get the best of me is during the PMS times, other than that, I am very good at remaining in control of my feelings, keeping a confident attitude and letting what will be, just be.
When you can take back control of your soul, feelings, mindset, etc.; you have stepped into the whole “Happiness is an attitude” mindset that I have learned to utilize in life. While this may not work for everyone, I confidently believe that things will always work out in life. This doesn’t mean things work out as I had originally planned; obviously I am a divorced Mom of three, but things work out in amazing ways for me – every single time.
I firmly believe that if you can learn to allot a few moments for your feelings, acknowledge them, let them be felt and then move forward from them, that you will go amazing places in life. I stopped letting someone else determine my fate a long time ago, no other human being can make me feel anything I don’t wish to feel; sure there are moments when those feelings arise and I lose control for a little bit, meaning the feelings hurt so deeply that you can’t help but let them consume you.
In times of high distress, or high hurtful situations; remember this – you are bigger than the feelings, your life doesn’t revolve around this one hurtful moment. Have faith and trust that all you’ve worked towards will pan out, that if you truly have a great thing, it will be okay. Remember that if someone hurt you or is confusing you, that letting go for a moment of that immediate feeling, thinking back to the history of you and this person, what makes sense in a realistic world?
If you can step back from the emotions during times of high painful moments, and remember what it was that made you want this person in your life – whether it be a best friend, a partner, a husband, a wife, whatever – there is a reason you wanted this person in your life and there are far larger positive things to be had between the two of you. Focus on that. Let go of the hurt in the moment. Have faith and trust it will all work out!
That, my friends, is how I let go and move forward knowing that life will simply work out and that love is worth having!
It’s smart that you teach your kids not to let others manipulate their feelings early on. Some people do it on purpose, others don’t know they’re doing it at all. It’s important YOU know what’s going on, so you can prevent it.