I see all too often parents wondering who their kids are, how did they become who they are and why are they so impossible to work with? I look into these type of scenarios and see that the expectations they set for their children are higher than they have set for their own self. Mission to solve this is simple, start leading the life you want your kids to live. I wish more could realize that children look up to whomever they spend the most time with. For the first 3-5 years of children’s lives they are with one or both parents, these are the true examples that are molding who they will become at a older age.
Once children head off to preschool, kindergarten, middle and high school they will have outside examples to influence their beliefs, behavior and confidence, make sure you are the person they look back to when they get out there in the real world! If you set a solid foundation of expectations by leading through example, you won’t have much to fear. I firmly believe the bond that is built from birth up until around age 12 matters most, with the years of birth to 6 being the most vitally important stages.
It is okay if you aren’t the person you want your children to live by right away, it is what you do to strengthen who you are and work to lead a life that you want your kids to that matters. Every day is a new opportunity to begin again, if your children see you working to better yourself each and every day then you are setting the bar on what they should do to become well rounded individuals. I think that no person is perfect, we are all beautiful imperfections and all, but I do feel you have no rights to complain about your children being exactly like you.
If you don’t want your children to be the way they are, and you wonder where in the world their behavior, thoughts and actions are coming from; take a long hard look in the mirror at your life, actions and beliefs, see if maybe, just maybe, you had thought you were setting an example that you weren’t setting and work immediately every single day to better yourself so that you can look in that mirror with pride for all of the hard work you accomplished for yourself. In turn, your children will slowly see your changes for the better and hopefully hop on board to live life under the guidance of watching you grow.
I think sometimes we aren’t aware that our kids watch us 24/7 and are guided by everything we do. You are right that we need to make sure we are guiding them well.
As my children age, I can see the influence of external forces starting to make an impact. They’re still pretty young so it hasn’t been a problem. I do want to make sure that we have a strong relationship so that when those tricky tween/teen years hit, we are ready.
Guiding my kids is so important to me. Too many kids are not led in the right direction. I try to be a great role model for them daily.