Once a week I take my sons’ out to a special breakfast, since there are really only two quick breakfast options here, McDonald’s or Dunkin Donuts, we usually end up at Dunkin Donuts. Every week, on the same day, we venture in and choose our regular menu options and sit while we wait for the breakfast sandwiches to be made. Each week the same customers are in that facility, there is this one special needs adult who is slightly older than me, if my memory recalls properly, and he is the most social man ever! Usually this man says hi to me or something random in the form of basic social chit chat between strangers, I am assuming he is special needs based on my observations and in addition to that he is difficult for my sons’ to understand.
One particular morning this young man caught me as I walked by his table, put his hand up in the air as if he wanted me to high five him, so I said “oh okay” and put my hand in the air. Then the guy says “Say GO” and he yells go wicked loud. I replied with hand in the air awaiting this high five “GO”, the man yelled GO louder and so I assumed I didn’t say GO loud enough, so I said it louder. Then it happened, I got a high five from this man who I don’t even know, he slapped me a hard high five and then pretends it hurt, smiling and happy as can be, I simply loved that moment. He was so happy in this one particular, simple moment for someone to high five him and find humor in what he found humor in.
When we left, my 8 year old son asked me, “Mama how can you understand what he says?”
I simply replied, “Well Aj I believe this man has special needs and I do agree that his voice is hard to understand, but I simply listen a bit harder and open my ears a bit more. Then only then can you really understand what he is saying.”
After my reply to Aj I realized that in that moment with this young man at Dunkin Donuts and my explanation of how you can better understand someone who has a different speech than you, that I taught my sons’ a lesson. In this one brief moment with a complete stranger, I was teaching my sons’ how to be good listeners, socially friendly and accepting of people different than you. My heart warmed and a smile came upon my face. Remember, Aj is special needs his own self, in a way that isn’t obvious in his speech or physical appearance, to Aj he is just like everyone else, he is a bright 8 year old boy. I am betting this young man, the one who gave me a happy high five, feels the same about himself because he has been loved and cared for, the way we all should be!
Do you ever stop and listen to complete strangers randomly in stores or restaurants?
I always try to take the time to listen. Some of my son’s friends have speech problems and it’s so rewarding to give them my time to let them practice and give them encouragement.
Aww, this is such a sweet story. I love that you made that man’s day, and was able to teach your son about diversity.
What a good lesson for us all to really take the time to listen. There are a few people in our community who have speech issues that really need the listener to be extra attentive so they can be understood.
My little guy had a speech delay and some issues, so I really do try to take the time to listen and be patient.
My son has autism and he stutters from time to time. It has taught us to be patient and listen to others.
Awe, what a nice way to teach your little one about something important. I am one who forgets to stop to listen, let alone teach my kids to do it. My oldest one didn’t talk till he was three and it was so tough on everyone
My friends daughter id Autistic and has some speech issues. It can be difficult to understand what she is trying to say to you. If you try to focus on her you can usually get what she is telling you.
I try to engage with anyone who’s willing when I’m out. It’s a great way to get to know different people.
Actually, I do. I know it’s rude to eavesdrop, but I can say I’ve heard some interesting things.
Gosh – this brought a tear to my eye.
A number of years ago, one of them members of our church, had to have brain surgery. It saved his life, but left him with severe cognitive issues and extreme speech impairment. I was so surprised when my husband (who was the Bishop of our church, at the time) asked him to speak one Sunday. After the meeting, I told my husband that I didn’t understand more than 2 or 3 words that the man said, in his 10 minute talk. My husband then told me in detail, what the talk was about. I was astonished. I asked my husband how in the world, he understood what was said. He just smiled and replied – I listened with my heart.
I never thought that I could love my husband more, but that day my love for him quadrupled.
Leading by example is the best way to parent, I think. Children learn the best lessons from watching.
Sometimes I’m in my own little world on autopilot. I do take the time to strike up conversation if someone says something to me though. :]
I love this story. Really that lesson goes so much deeper in teaching your sons to accept everyone around them for who they are! Good job mama!
That really is an important lesson to teach and learn yourself. A good conversation requires give and take. I cannot tell you how many times random strangers stop to talk to my mom and I; we have those faces that say, ‘talk to us’ and the thing is we choose to give them our time and listen.
We would get people with special needs coming into a place i used to work and it was hard to understand them but they loved to socialize! I loved talking with them
Such a good story, you can’t judge everyone and acceptance is a great thing!
The fact that you took the time to engage with him was awesome. So many are in such a hurry to get from point A to point B, that they don’t allow themselves enough time to “listen”.
I think sometimes we have to just stop and listen, and forget about our clocks or what we have to do off our checklists. Great story!
It can sometimes be hard to listen when you are tired, but it’s necessary. It makes all the difference.
I met a lady the other day at the grocery store. We listened to each other and then she thanked me for stopping to talk. THat made me happy!