One mission I had when I first became a parent to a second child was to ensure my daughter and son would have a good relationship. I know that siblings will have their normal rivalry, that competition for their parents’ attention and the differences between personalities, etc. When I say I wanted my siblings to love each other, it goes deeper than what you see on the surface.
I Want My Children to Love Each Other – Fully
I don’t care if my children are throwing each other on the ground in a drag out fist fight, which sometimes happens with those two boys, but what matters, is how they handle the after effect. Does one brother feel bad for hurting the other brother? Does one do something kind to make up for a bad response to upset feelings towards their sibling? I wanted my children to truly care, deeply love and feel this bond of siblings that took me a long time to have with my younger sister. I want my kids to have that sooner, rather than later, in life.
Teaching Children Love Is Deeper than Immediate Feelings
I am a huge advocate for allowing my children an open forum in my home, each of my three children know that they can be fully honest in this house. The biggest rule is to share your honesty with a respectful tone, do not use a condescending tone as if your sibling is a complete moron. Being rude will not be tolerated and being mean without just cause will be met with severe consequence. I firmly believe my children know that they can be mad at each other but at the end of the day? They all love each other dearly.
My children have been taught that love goes deeper than just your immediate feelings; they have learned this through my example. I can think of no other way to teach siblings to love each other than by having their parents be their guiding light for showing love. I love unconditionally and I have always been very clear about showing my children the difference between Mama being upset and enforcing a rule versus love. Each of my three children have learned that a parents love is unconditional and in turn they have that unconditional love for each other.
Raising Special Needs
Sometimes my first born gets frustrated because she is the only girl and has two little brothers; one is high functioning autistic and the other is very hyperactive, this is difficult at times because they are on a different wave length than her. I have had to find extra patience, love and compassion to teach my daughter to accept people who are different. By having the household we have, with the example I have set forth, I believe that my three children deeply love each other, it is evident in how they interact with each other, yes even during those sibling rivalry moments.
What do you think, do children learn best through example or do you feel they work best through verbal instruction?
To this day my sister and I do not get along. I don’t think it;s anything my parents did, though. We just clash.
My sister and I are best friends. Our half sisters on the other hand would love to claw each others eyes out (no joke). I think it depends on the individual. You are doing a great job, Mama.
I have 3 sisters and a brother. Some days we may not agree or get along, but in the end we still love each other.
I think children learn best both.. verbal and example. I tell my girls they are each other’s best friends for Life and to never let anyone get between them. We will see how long that lasts.
I think kids learn a lot more by example. But words are important, too. My boys will fight but they do love each other.
It took my kids a long time to get along. I tried everything I could think of. Now they are very close.
I think teaching children to love each other – or anyone for that matter – is best accomplished by parents setting a loving example. Children learn what they live.
Sibling relationships can be so hard. It is great that you are thinking about what you want for them, and actively working to teach them and show them those things.
I try to I try and push my girls to stay close. They are little so i expect them to figth some.
Like Robin, I don’t get along with my sister either and it has nothing to do with parenting. My girls, however, are super close, so I think it’s just a matter of the personality lottery and which ones in the family are going to connect more.
I think children need a good example and direction to learn something. Being a role model for your children is very important.
Having siblings is a dream of mine since like always. I`m pretty sure now I should stop dreaming of this as it would never happen.
My son is an only child however….I do have a *MUCH* younger sister who is just a year older than him. They act a lot like siblings.
I would say most people learn best through example regardless of age. Great ways to teach children!
I agree it is so important to to teach kids this. Thank you so much for taking time to give others some helpful tips!
I always tell the kids the best thing I ever gave them was each other. I encourage them staying close even though two of them are grown on on their own. Thankfully, they have a wonderful relationship. I think verbal and example are equally important.
My kids do not get along that great and it makes me sad. I am hoping once they are out of the teen years they will get along better.
I think they learn best through both. Example is a strong method of teaching and one they’ll remember but no ones perfect so telling them what they need to do is good too.
I think kids learn in all different ways. I’ve also seen that one kid might need several different ways to learn something. Thanks for sharing this heart felt post.
My brother and are close but my sister and I haven’t had a relationship in years. 🙁 My son is an only child and I sometimes feel very sad that he doesn’t have a sibling, but it wasn’t in the cards. I so hope that he makes a good friend that will be there for him for years to come. I know my bff is closer than a sister (especially since mine wasn’t).
Kids may argue, but when it comes down to it… no one better give a sibling a hard time. My kids were like that. Arguing one second and defending each other the next,.
Definitely something I look to do everyday with my kids. I wanted to grow up and be best friends!
we don’t allow physical fights, there’s too many other ways to resolve issues. I do make them talk things out and listen to the other side of things