Whether you’re in a great marriage or you’re getting ready to take the plunge, we all know that marriage – even the best ones – isn’t easy. How do you stay in marriage bliss (or at least keep your head above water) throughout the rest of your life? Read on for tips from happy couples.
1. Sometimes, you have to just go to bed, even if you’re still angry. Talking huge problems through is a must, but when it comes to the smaller ones – or the big ones that may take several conversations to muddle through – sometimes you just have to turn in, refresh, and tackle the issue in the morning.
2. In most fights, one of the two of you will be less mad than the other. It’s that person’s responsibility to deflect the argument. Lighten the mood, make a joke, point out something that’s funny or ironic… if you can get the other person smiling, you’ve done your job. Even enormous, must-figure-out issues benefit from some levity now and then.
3. Stop being so critical. Whatever you’re about to criticize in the other person, they probably already know the flaw and it’s probably resounding in their head at this very moment. Saying that nasty, cutting thing – even if it’s true – will only feel good in the moment and then it will feel like crap for the rest of the night, week, month…
4. Instead of being critical (see #3), be your other half’s mirror. What do you want them to see? How do you want them to act or feel about themselves? Tell them that. If you want someone to believe something about themselves, you can plant the seed.
5. Brag about them, especially when they’re in earshot. You know how great it is to overhear someone saying lovely things about you? Do that for your spouse.
6. Maintain your own life; gone are the days of being kept by another person. Delve into your hobbies, embrace the things you feel passionate about, and don’t worry if all of your individual interests don’t overlap. Keep doing the things that you love. Your spouse may not understand your affinity for modern art, but they’ll love you simply for having an interest in something besides being married.
Is divorce unavoidable? Visit a Cordell & Cordell site for help with navigating the tricky waters of divorce.