Driving down the road, heading home from picking up my sweet daughter from her great Gram’s house, we engage in a conversation. Well the conversation was sort of a random blurb that I made into a conversation without the daughter wanting me to. So is the norm around here.
I don’t have any friends but one in my class this year and it just sucks. – says the daughter
Well I get that you only have one long time friend in your class this year sweetie but maybe the girls you were not friends with last year changed over the Summer and you will go back to find that they are super cool this year.
I highly doubt “insert names of girls here”, will ever change. – says the daughter {with a slight hint of attitude & wrinkle of the nose}
Okay so maybe your attitude could change and then you would think that they are super cool all of a sudden this school year.
Uh not likely. – says the daughter
Ok then …. well let’s see ….. there could be a new family who moved into town with a fifth grade daughter who you totally think is awesome and then? You will have more than one friend in your classroom this year.
silence. followed by eye roll. car door opens. car door shuts. we have now arrived home.
Enter the first grade boy …..
I have all sorts of friends in my class “insert about six kids names here”. And “insert one name here” is my bestest friend but sometimes he doesn’t let me play and tells me to stop following him around. – says the son
Why did he tell you to stop following him around? Have you been just following your friend around and that’s why he is your best friend?
Uh no. My other friend “insert name here” started the game and thought of it, he said I could play but “insert other boys name here” said I couldn’t. He didn’t even think of the game so he can’t even tell me not to play. – says the son
Oh ok, I get it .. I think. Well are you excited to be a first grader this year?
Yeah. – says the son
Two conversations about friends, with two completely differently children. My kids are growing up and new challenges are to be faced this school year, but I am ready. Are you?
We just moved and I am SO thankful that one of the kids in Evan’s class just happens to live next door. It makes things easier – I often worry about them and friends.
Oh that is nice! Having a friend next door, my daughter gets upset because where we live there are a TON of neighbors that are my sons age but she doesn’t have many neighborhood kids her age 🙁
My daughter is too young for school. I cringe sometimes when I talk to other parents about their kids and their friends. This person isn’t my friend this year. This “friend” is spreading this rumor about me, and so on. It’s a social jungle out there.
I think that these days the kids, specifically girls are more “cliquey” than they were when I was growing up. Seems the times are so different.
hehe! I think I was just like your daughter when I was a kiddo!
My son is in 3rd grade this year, and as hard as I try to get him to open up about school, I only hear about his day when HE wants to share (or when Daddy asks).
I was just like my daughter too … each year she gets older each year I see more and more of me in her … scary! lol
Sounds like a conversation with your son about what a friend really is is in order. Friends don’t tell friends they can’t play!
I certainly did explain to Aj that friends do not say things like that. Just thankful Aj is the type who doesn’t let little things like that bug him & the friend did let him play so IDK the whole story. My daughter on the other hand takes every little gesture to heart and it’s difficult for me to try to help soothe her in times of slight friend drama.
It’s interesting how every kid deals with the social situation is school their own way. That actually may be my biggest problems with public schools, actually… Schools don’t have the kids teach each other math or reading, so I don’t see why it’s accepted that they just throw them all together to learn social interaction. I don’t really have a good answer to how this should be approached but I think there should be more thought put into it.
That makes perfect sense, maybe there should be more schooling on social interactions, what is appropriate behavior. I never just toss my kids into the playground on first day of school – can you imagine walking up to all of those kids on this first day after having been away from most of those kids all summer? My daughter gets anxiety just thinking about it! Thankfully school is going well now, that first day or two was rough on both of my school kids!
The differences in social interaction really is interesting. I could say it’s a boy/girl thing, but even my 2 boys are the same. I try to ask my 3rd grader about his friends and I get a lot of eyerolls lol. They start early with that stuff, don’t they? My 1st grader, however, he’s happy just as long as he has some kids, any kids to run around with at recess.
The friend conversation is so difficult to have! My son is only in kindergarten, so everyone (in his mind) is his friend right now. My heart breaks for the future when kids don’t want to be his friend 🙁