I talk to my sister at least once every day. I will do anything for my sister as long as I am able to do so. I am always there for my sister even if she feels she does not want me to be there for her. I love my sister even when she does not want to ever speak to me again. This is what we do, siblings and family, we are there for each other, to drive each other insane, to deal with the ups and downs, and to simply love each other for who each of us is.
I recall a childhood where my sister and I were not always the best of friends. I swear she only enjoyed hanging with me from time to time because everyone thought that she was me, therefore she was “older”. I recall going into a store to purchase cigarettes and being carded. They did not card my sister. She laughed and told the cashier that she is four years younger than me. They stated that she looked like the older sibling not me. I get it, my sister is taller than me and she can kick my butt. She has more of a street smart type attitude and I am more of the country love everyone kind of person. Basically my sister does not put up with anything and I will put up with a heck of a lot more than I should.
My sister and I have had a lot of ups and downs. I used to be more of parental figure to her and as you can imagine that did not play out too well. Years ago I had to tell my sister she could no longer live with me in an apartment because she hadn’t done much of job hunting and it was a situation that I could no longer afford to take care of her and my daughter’s needs. My sister did not speak to me for at least three months because of that, and it hurt, but I did what I felt I needed to do back then.
The day I feel that my sister and I became closer can not be measured in depth of time or told to you by a specific date, but I can say that it was the day that I stopped being the parental figure to her. I stopped worrying about my sister the way a parent would worry about a child. I stopped telling her what I felt she should do and let her do her own thing. Whether I agreed or not with the things she was doing, whether my heart broke to watch her walk down the paths she went down; I stopped and shut my mouth, allowing her to be her own person.
The day that my sister and I became closer was the day that I started treating her like she was my sister, like she was a person with her own mind and her own decisions to make. Whether I agree or disagree with anything that my sister does, and honestly I probably disagree more often than I agree, I don’t utter a word. For she is her own person, she is an adult and is making her own rules to live by. My sister is doing what she needs to do to be one with herself and for that I couldn’t be more proud, even if at times I have to wonder why she does some things.
I will forever be supportive of my sister, because she is my little sister. I don’t care how much taller she is than me, I don’t care how much she scares me. I will forever be here for her and yes if I have an opinion I will share it but overall I have stepped back to be her sister and a friend. Sometimes I catch myself worrying about my sister as if I were her parent and then I have to stop myself for that is not my job at all. We are grown adults now and we have a respect for each other in a way that every family member should. Whether I think she’s gone off her rocker or she thinks I’ve gone off mine; we won’t judge each other for decisions made, rather we will be there for each other to be that person to call when poop hits the fan or sun shines so brightly that we can’t help but be silly happy!
Family is forever, whether you like it or not. Whether they tell you they love you 100 times or they never say it at all, it’s not about the words “I Love you” it’s the actions that count (and that took me a long time to figure out)!
So cool that you’re that close with your sister. I’m that way with mine, but we don’t talk a lot because she’s a workaholic. Even when I lived in the same town, we didn’t talk a lot. lol
That’s a wonderful relationship you have right there. My sisters are all older (8, 10, 12 years) and I therefore had four mothers growing up. Even now we are not that close as they/I feel they need to approve of what I am doing, though I’m 33, have a child, and moved overseas – twice. I definitely agree that being a sister instead of a mother the better way to go so you can see them in a different light. I’m so happy to hear that you made the decision and are sticking with it – resulting in a fantastic sibling friendship.