I am divorced, fully disclosing this fact. I feel we tried and tried and tried but divorce was the end result. As much as I have this yearning to keep my family together, I also know when I am not at my best that my children are not at their best.
I am a huge supporter of marriage and think that when you take those vows you are not stuck to them, but you are committed to ensure you take every possible measure to seek help and work on communication to see if the issues that arise can be resolved. I know from personal experience that just raising children can cause a strain on any marriage, even the best marriages but a strain on marriage doesn’t mean it has to be the end of a marriage.
My sons take up a lot of parental time and since they rarely sleep well it seems by the time either parent is done dealing with them it’s difficult to want to do anything except lay your head down or for me … get online and get some work done finally to make money for those bills. It’s extremely difficult raising a family and keeping the relationship alive between you and your partner.
Just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it is impossible though! Keep that in mind when you are sitting and debating the BIG D, because believe me, it’s not something any person should jump to as a first resort! I am one of those silly woman who believes that I can be happy and will be happy. I will do whatever it takes to ensure I am at my happiest, of course I don’t mean unrealistic happy – like happy all of the time, every moment of every day, but a happy where I feel complete as a person.
I do realize people change after living life situations and sometimes they change for the best while others may change for the worse. Marriages and even just relationships in general take work, whether is a partner or a child or a sibling, keeping relationships strong and positive, will take some hard times. It’s when those hard times start being beyond yours and anyone elses control to help fix that you must look in the mirror and ask if you love the person you are today and if you think you are in a funk or if this is just truly a not good living situation for you and your children.
I hope for your marriages sake that you can hang on and go to counseling and make sure you do all you possibly can to hang onto your family and marriage because your family is worth a fight, even if the end result is not what you had hoped for. If it makes you happier and you both have closure knowing you gave it your all then you can walk away with a boulder off of your shoulder or continue in the marriage on a more positive path of renewed freshness and love for each other.