As it nears the end of Summer I find myself in a gloomy mood. I feel sad, just want to sleep and it’s been hard to keep those happy thoughts coming. One thing I am here for is to help spread cheer and happiness. I am not here to say life is perfect and I never feel sad because if I pretended that I am always happy or that I am never depressed then I would be lying to you and that my friends is not my intentions. I wish to be open, honest and approachable by all.
I want to give you a peek into what I have been feeling lately and what I plan to do to create happiness from this situation! I am an optimistic thinker, and hope that giving you a look into my end of Summer blues will open up your mind to creative ideas to increase your happiness.
First things first, I am not having end of Summer blues because my oldest is going back to school, nor am I having them because my youngest is turning one this week. I am simply not taking the time for ME, all Summer I spent raising the kids, taking care of their needs and my husband’s needs. I never took time out for ME. Not taking time out for yourself is bad, it will create a depression that is hard to get out of unless you think happy thoughts and act on those thoughts.
I am also one to try to talk things out, and so after talking and talking (and talking some more) with my husband we finally decided that what’s going on is that I need some time for me. I personally feel bad telling my husband when he gets home from a long days work that I am heading out the door for no reason, maybe just to go read a book on the park bench or to drive aimlessly because I need to get out of the house. I don’t know about you, but I felt that he deserved to get away too. I felt that I owed him something and that he deserved to be able to do whatever he wants because he works a full time job up to 6 days a week.
All too often I am found making my responsibilities of raising the kids, running this blog and my business as “not a big deal”. I always act like hubby’s job is way more important than mine and he deserves a break more than me, after all I am simply playing with the kids all day, right?! WRONG!
Even my husband agrees that regardless of whether I work from home, run my blog or do anything else; raising the children is a full time job in itself. He says this to me but he doesn’t always act that way. I have learned one thing from being married; men don’t know what you want unless you TELL them. This doesn’t go for all men, but most men certainly don’t have the same “emotional” desire to have their “own time” or to get away. I have been trying to express to hubby how I feel because I fear if I don’t open up and get some time to ME then our marriage will suffer and it quite honestly is already suffering because I am in dire need of time to be ME.
Luckily my husband is understanding and he has told me I don’t need a reason to leave, I don’t need to have a destination, if this is what I need to help me smile again, then by all means go do it! And so I will be venturing out into the big world for time to myself. Maybe I will be able to finish reading The Problem with Women… is Men: The Evolution of a Man’s Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness. No matter what I do while I am out away from my husband and the kids I know it will feel great to miss them, truly MISS THEM, because honestly I haven’t been away from my boys in longer than I can remember. It will be nice to have a chance to miss my children so I can come back and be the Mommy I love to be!
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Brandy, YES!! We are the only ones responsible for our own happiness! Our obligations to others are real, but the fact is, if we don’t take care of ourselves first, we are worthless to others. I’m one that always needs a change of scenery to keep a smile in my heart, even if it’s just a night downtown dining with friends. The four walls that comfort you should not be your jail, right?
Thanks for the happy thoughts!
.-= Sugar Jones´s last blog ..Snazl Party: My Favorite Things =-.
I completely agree – you HAVE to take some time for you. Yes, it is hard to find the time, especially when your husband works so much. I do understand how you don’t want to duck out the door as soon as he arrives – but every now and then – you need it. Love that you have a suportive guy who understands!
Kudos to you Brandy for opening up with your husband about your need! You’re right, we really do have to TELL them most of the time. You can’t read his mind and he can’t read yours. Men & women, Moms & Dads, all have different ways of approaching life and parenting and all have different levels of needs.
I remember have some similar feelings when my daughter was still very young (baby – young toddler years). I felt guilty for wanting to get away, especially just as my husband was walking in the door from a long day at work. But we talked about it and I was delighted to find out that he was just fine with me getting away for some me time whenever I needed it. I usually found that calling him an hour or two before he would be home to forewarn him of my impending departure upon his arrival would help smooth the transition for all of us.
.-= Malia´s last blog ..School Memories =-.
Brandy, I feel like I was just reading about MY life. We so need time for ourselves…..even going to the grocery store ALONE. It is very easy to forget about our needs when we are always so busy. My husband is super supportive too and I am so lucky he is understanding when he gets home from work and I have my hormonal meltdown:)
.-= Sherri @ Luv a Bargain´s last blog ..Shape Magazine: Free One Year Subscription =-.
I know what you’re going through, Brandy. Thank you for speaking up so other women can see it’s okay to feel this way, to need to take some time away. I’m so glad your husband supports you and tries to understand. Mine does as well, but it can certainly be a difficult concept to explain. Take your time away and enjoy it! I’m planning to see a movie by myself one day soon, either The Proposal or The Time Traveler’s Wife, and I can’t wait! Let us know what you do with your free time.
.-= Mary@Everyday Baby Steps´s last blog ..Celebrating With McDonald’s =-.
I can relate girl. A few months ago I was burnt out beyond belief. I was working non-stop, being a wife and mom, taking care of our home, meals, laundry, and everything between. It was tough and I fell apart. I realized that I needed to set limits concerning my client work and also take much needed me time.
I now shut my computer down by 7:30pm, put the kids in bed and I relax for an hour or so in front of the tv or read and then go to bed early. This has been a simple change that has made a HUGE difference. Everyone has their own thing that will help bring refreshing & rejuvenation. You will have to work that something into your schedule. Even though your husband probably does work hard – you still deserve to have your own time as well. And that is so wonderful that your husband agrees.
Take that time, even if it is for only an hour every few days. It is so important. So cheer up girl. You are doing great. And it is awesome that you have a place to share about your feelings, isn’t it? I love being able to blog. It is a great place to vent and receive awesome encouragement and advice from others going through the same things.
God bless you, DAWN
.-= Dawn (Painter Mommy)´s last blog ..Funny Cartoons About Blogging =-.
Thank you! You often write very interesting articles. You improved my mood.
You are so wise to realize you need some “me” time. I used to sing in the church choir just so I could go to choir practice and have some me time. It is so much healthier.
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