As most of my readers know we have been trying to transition our baby K from bed to his own crib, however, with all the new issues with little Mr. AJ, we have postponed our transition of Baby K.
I will say this – Baby K is almost petrified of his crib, when he sees it, no matter the time of day, he shakes and crawls up me trying to get away from it as fast as he can. The crib is very close to our bed, so when I just sitting on the bed with him he can see it and almost touch it. I find this odd, my other two children of course didn’t like transitioning and would cry if placed in the crib and within just a few days up to a week of being consistent they did well. Never did either of my older children shake or want to get away as fast as possible from the crib, they were not showing any signs of being “afraid”.
I fear with our little man AJ not sleeping very well and being rather crazy and dangerous around the house, he is our first priority at bed time. We have to make sure AJ is not only starting to get to sleep earlier than 11:30pm but also make sure he is safe, because he is very destructive. AJ’s new thing is trying to push his sister’s TV off the desk it sits on. AJ has always been a bit high strung, but never this bad. It seems to be getting progressively worse as the days go by.
This saddens me, I see my little boy slowing falling apart. His eyes show signs of anger often, he just wants to jump around all the time like a crazy out of control boy. Time outs do not work in the normal corner type setting for him because he will toss everything off the counters, tables, etc. He will do ANYTHING to get out of that situation. Now, this is not a “normal” child reaction by any means, it’s way more extreme. My daughter never liked the corner and would often fight me and not want to stay in the corner, but we could “work with her” and eventually she would stay put. AJ is so much different, of course, he is not HER, but he is so out of control it’s hard to even implement the most normal consistencies you would with a child.
The pediatrician has now pretty much deemed that we are doing something wrong, that AJ needs a bed time routine and that we need to be consistent. My response to that is, “DUH”. If the pediatrician had listened to us in the office and TRULY HEARD US, then he would realize that AJ has had a very routine driven life, including bedtime routine. AJ has always been a child that thrives on a particular routine – one change and he has a melt down. He literally has to have everything the same everyday down to what sippy cup or cup you put milk, water, or juice in! YES this boy is VERY routine driven and expects things to remain the same, any slight change and BAM he is out of control OR having a complete melt down. This is a characteristic we always have known about AJ, so a routine is something we have always implemented with him.
Knock on wood … the past couple nights with a sippy of milk and placing AJ on the couch covered in a blankie – he will fall asleep FAST. We hate to give him milk before bed, because he had a cavity from this at 15 months of age. The cavity got better with routine dentist visits, but now with him fighting us tooth and nail on EVERYTHING – it’s hard to get his teeth brushed well, although we do all we can to get his teeth brushed – they are not getting brushed as well as they should I am sure, and with this adding milk to allow him to fall asleep – will only create more tooth decay problems!
Feeling stuck, not sure what to do, feeling like no one is really willing to teach us how to work with a hyperactive, out of control, almost angry child, we have decided to meet with behavioral health on Wednesday morning. Hopefully they will have more compassion and know what to do with AJ. We do not wish to place him on meds, we wish to be taught how to parent a child with such extreme hyperactivity and behavioral issues.
I can only hope that the meeting tomorrow will go well, if not we will keep plugging away and moving forward. We refuse, as parents, to simply give up and accept AJ will be uncontrollable – because you can control a child no matter the situation – it’s just a matter of figuring out what style works for him and how to implement it correctly. I will keep you posted!
6 thoughts on “Forget the crib”
As I read your blog, I could almost see myself in it. Damien is now 6, but for the past 2 years now, we have dealt with anger issues, hyperactivity and many other things. They have diagnosed him with ADHD and ODD.
The one thing I was adamant about was that he NOT have to “learn” how to function on medication. While it works for some, it is my feelings that if he was put on meds now, he would never learn how to function without them.
I think taking him to a Behavioral Health specialist is a great idea. However, just be ready for them to suggest medication. I had to switch specialists at the center we use, because the first one only wanted to medicate him.
Does your hospital have a Child Development Center? I ask because the school gave us a refferal there, and we are on a waiting list. The CD center has nurses,(if you were to choose to medicate him) to talk to you, social workers and the whole nine yards…
Anyways..I have been where you are so if you need anything please feel free to email me.
Good luck..and just know that it is nothing you have done wrong…I used to feel like that…
It’s easy to give advice but as a parent, when you go through it, it’s not all text book. Things don’t always go as planned, that’s parenting.
Your doing all the right things. Keep it up and I’m sure everything will go better.
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I have been involved with all kinds of kids learning/emotional issues in my school district for the past 15 years and I would advise you to have your son evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. who may be less likely to prescribe medicine. Also do you have any kind of early intervention program? Here we do have that, where programs for kids who are not yet in school receive all kinds of services……omg parenting can be such a challenge. It takes you to so many places you had no idea you were going to. The beauty of your situation is that you know something is up and you seem to be on top of it. That is the most important thing! Also have you thought of a homeopathic doctor?
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