Stop Explaining Yourself. Just Stop.

The real story of your life doesn’t need to be explained. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to explain nor get anyone else to understand the decisions you make in life. Sure people may shake their heads. Sure some may feel that you keep making the same mistakes. Who cares? I am sure every one of us makes similar mistakes over and over again in our lives, we are human.

It’s difficult for me, as a writer and avid talker, to not get caught up in explaining myself or my decisions. I have been raised in a way that I always felt the need to explain in detail why I have made decisions that I have made. Finally, one day it dawned on me that no matter how much I explain my scenario, no one else, aside from those walking in my shoes will fully comprehend the place I am coming from. The only people I take fully into consideration when I make decisions in life are my children.

That means when I have to move or spend money on something, or find more work; the ultimate goal is to ensure I am making a decision that benefits my children. I am not always perfect, occasionally I may make a decision that I feel isn’t bad for my children but may not be the best decision in the long run for my complete happiness. Yet, when faced with the scenario of having to make a choice again, I get caught up in the whole “what will people think” mindset. I need to just stop!

Those who are true to me, those who truly love me and care for me as a person will realize that they don’t need to accept, understand or comprehend my decisions; they simply need to be there to support me in all areas of my life. I have a few close people in my world and while I know full well they don’t always agree with my choices, they will support me and let me know that this is my life; at the end of the day I am the one who has to decide what’s best, not them. They respect that and I admire them for that choice they make, for those types of people are the ones I will go to time and time again for insight on my thoughts. 

Having my middle child recently diagnosed high functioning autistic, made me step back and realize even more so that I don’t need to explain anything. My son may look at people with a serious face that comes off as a glare, he isn’t trying to be mean; he is simply a very serious child who smiles at home in his comfort zone but overall doesn’t show emotions in the way everyone else expects him to. I want to raise all of my children through example that they, too, will never have to feel as though they must explain themselves to anyone!

So the next time you find yourself sitting down with someone and trying to explain to them why you made the decisions you made, remember that it doesn’t matter why to any outsiders. No one but you and maybe those who reside with you need to hear your reasoning, but even then, at the end of the day, you are your own person and must ensure that you are following your path in life. A happy person makes a happy environment.

Find that voice in your head that says “JUST STOP” each time you find yourself over analyzing, over explaining or feeling as if the world may shake their head at you. The world doesn’t matter, you matter most! Take care of you.