When Times get Frustrating: How to Handle Frustration

The frustration of lonely nights and taking care of everyone can totally get to a person. That’s the life I am living right now. My man got hurt, badly hurt and he absolutely needs to take care of his wound. He must elevate the ankle that is broken and needs surgery so that he can move forward on the path of recovery. With that being said, he is couch ridden because getting upstairs to our bedroom really isn’t ideal after heading in for surgery yesterday only to find out his swollen ankle and other health concerns made it impossible for them to feel confident in completing the surgery that day. Fast forward today he has water pills and is on strict orders to get that swelling down come Monday so they can indeed complete surgery of placing plates and screws in his ankle. This sucks. It sucks for him because I watch him feeling inadequate as a man, he can’t walk. He has to wheel himself around the house and is on crutches whenever he tries to walk anywhere that the chair won’t fit. It’s frustrating for him and it’s frustrating for me, but for different reasons.

I Go Back …

Each moment I start to feel frustrated, I go back to the place in my mind where I remember the giving person I am. My man doesn’t take advantage of how I treat him and take care of him, he does all he can to complete whatever tasks he can on his own {while I am standing there saying don’t do too much, get that swelling down}. He by no means makes me feel frustrated about having to wheel around the home and due to his broken ankle and staples in the other leg. I just simply am human and feel lonely, sad at times and as if this really just sucks. I am being pulled in so many directions that I can feel confusion on where priorities must be.

Let’s Add a Broken Family Rig

I also have a broken down van that needs an engine, that’s $800 total to get done, doesn’t seem like a lot but when you have one man down who isn’t working as much as he used to and I am trying to keep the emotional and financial side of the five person family afloat? That $800 may as well be thousands. I am feeling frustrated that I can’t fix the van, while also trying to be grateful that my father has lent me his vehicle. I just want to give my Dad his vehicle back so this van needs to be fixed.

Oh Wait, There’s More

Then there is the kiddos, three of them ranging from high school down to elementary who have needs and desires I must meet. Youngest struggling with his true hatred of school and how the system is now setup, because let’s face it – the public school system is a mess in some spots and our town is no exception as it seems lately they have gone downhill big time.  The middle is doing okay, he does what he has to, remember he is high functioning autistic so he is more logical with less of the emotional side of things. My oldest is dealing with that whole honors classes and high school, which is a huge change. Then here I am, have to help, listen and determine what the next route is for each of these kids. Should I use online education platforms? Should I try to push them through and see how the year turns out? Should I teach them skills necessary to cope with drama and the politics that have consumed our public school systems? I have no idea what’s right, but I will chug along doing the best I can as their mother.

Life is Rough Right Now

Life is rough right now, no doubt. It’s hard. I am drained most nights falling asleep sitting up on the couch. I can barely enjoy my own downtime that I must have to keep a level head. You see, I have worked my butt of with this positive thinking mindset and all of these challenges at once feels suffocating and I think the thing that makes me the most upset is that I feel as if I am not appreciated for all I am doing. That may sound selfish but it’s the truth. I feel underappreciated right now, in the moments where I am rising above to do kind gestures, to work more than I really can handle and to do what I need to do to make up for one man being down in the family, I just feel frustrated that I am not appreciated. That the pain and broken ankle surpasses the fact that I am losing out on time with my kids who matter so much to me, they are only young once. Sure this is only temporary and I feel bad having these feelings but every so often … I feel this way. Frustrated.

This Shall Pass

This too shall pass and this is only temporary. Thank goodness I raised some really great kids who know when family hurts, we rise together. That’s what we are doing. When dinner time is done and the kids want a bit of time with Mama, I give it to them. Sure that means I may be working late and again cutting into that down time I need alone at the end of the day but honestly? Those kids are only young once so I will forever put them first to ensure they feel loved and confident that they are being raised by a Mama who always made sure their needs were met.

The Workaholic in Me

I have added a large amount of work to my work from home plate, not so much that I can’t handle it but combine it with my man down, and the back to school stuff and the kid’s needs on an emotional level? I wish I could count on people to assist me in the work load I created to counteract my man not bringing much, if any, income into the home. I will make it and I will rise above, I will come out of this fine but in this moment right now I am frustrated.

To Move Forward from Frustration I do The Following:

1. Remind myself that this situation is temporary.
2. Remember that I unconditionally love my man and my kids.
3. Remember those good times, all those road trips that helped our relationship blossom.
4. Know that my man will rise above when he’s mended and right now he is doing best he can.
5. Have Faith that whatever is meant to be, will be.
6. Think in a forward thinking matter, rating priorities realistically so we can still pay bills.
7. Pray at night for guidance, calmness and a direction to be shown to me.
8. Remember that I have an awesome community of family and friends who have my back no matter what.

There are many ways to move on from frustrated moments, one thing is for sure, I am quickly learning that no decision should ever be made at a point of high emotions. While there are times like right now that I feel full of high emotions that truly are mostly negative, the decision to change anything to do with the structure of my family isn’t there. I have no desire to leave my man at his weakest moment and I know at the end of all of this …

we will hug, kiss and smile at each other while traveling along a New England road talking about those three months that life as we knew it paused.

Featured Image Source: Flickr