The answer to the question, “should I dump my boyfriend”, can only come from your own self. No other person can help you find answers to what is best in your life, when asking others this question you need to take the following into consideration before solidifying their advice as logical for you or not:
- Have they ever been in a similar or exact situation with a partner?
- Is their advice coming from a place of vengeance or genuine caring?
- Does this person already have negative feelings towards your boyfriend?
As with any situation in life, you must take each person’s advice and opinion with a grain of salt. The most efficient way to determine if you should dump your boyfriend or not is to take in feedback from your closest friends and family, evaluate what each person is saying and make a list of what you feel you agree with. From that point, you have to sit and come up with your own reasoning as to why you are asking if you should dump your boyfriend. Try to consider the following facts before you make a decision to kick your boyfriend to the curb:
- Every relationship hits a rough patch; it doesn’t matter if you are with this boyfriend or another boyfriend.
- After the honeymoon phase wears off many stop wooing their partner, which is partially why many dump their boyfriend; the man they love no longer takes the time to woo them.
- No one is perfect, are you faulting your boyfriend for being less than perfect when in reality the issues you have may be caused by the breakdown of communication?
- Remember, most boyfriends can’t read our minds, if we are not communicating our needs with them, then how can they try?
One thing I have learned in my many years of failed relationships, and now dating a man for the last two years with many ups and downs, is that sometimes we get in our own way. Sometimes we want to dump our boyfriend because they “don’t get us” but in reality how can they if we are not expressing our honest needs with them. If, after you have exhausted all effort in attempting to communicate your needs in a respectful manner, they still aren’t putting forth the effort that is required to continuously keep a relationship afloat, then maybe the answer is “yes, you need to dump your boyfriend”.
My biggest piece of advice to you, if you do dump your boyfriend is this, please walk away from the relationship learning something about the failed situation. Sure, there may be heartbreak involved, and you won’t be thinking clearly after the breakup, but if both parties of the relationship can walk away from this heartbreak learning something about themselves and relationships then it was a decision worth making to ensure you both grow more as individuals.
What helped you make a decision to dump your boyfriend or not?
When anyone asks me what they should do in any life changing situation, the first thing out of my mouth is that I can not answer that for them, but I will support whatever decision they make. I think it is important to know that some of your friends will still be there even while a part of your world is turning over.
I also agree that walking away from a relationship should be taken as a learning experience. So many relationships end with anger, resentment, even hate—and in many cases we can see why. However, it is better to think that, whatever kind of person that boy/girlfriend was, He/she is just not what you are looking for–and that helps to define what you ARE looking for.
I agree with how you approach it completely. I take that route too, the supportive, “I can’t help you but I can be here to support you as a your friend” role with a variety of life changing scenarios with my friends as well as family. I strongly believe we all have to make decisions based on what works for us, and learn from those decisions to not repeat history so to speak by making the same mistakes next time. Thank you for your comment!