When you become a parent, your life is turned upside down. All of a sudden you are in charge of protecting this little human being. This little human being looks upon you for guidance, unconditional love and acceptance. It is vitally important, from a very young age ,to set boundaries with your child, because I did this with my own children from a young age; we are very close knit.
To me, the concept of parenting is extremely simple:
- Setting rules
- Setting consequences
- Being consistent
- Being okay with the child getting angry with you
- Accepting that a parent’s job changes on a regular
No matter how many times you think you have everything figured out, your child will test some new boundary and you feel yourself starting all over again. I firmly believe that whether your child is 2 or 15, your child will test boundaries and do various things that make you shake your head or want to scream. That is your job, as a parent, to realize your child will test their limits and push your buttons. Each time your child grows, changes friends or schools, etc; will bring on new challenges. You need to constantly be on top of your game!
The best way to be a consistent parent is to:
- Say what you mean, and do what you say
- Follow through with consequences as well as rewards
- Remind your child that you are in charge, as you are the adult
- Allow opinions to be spoken, but you make the final ruling
I cannot stress, “Say what you mean, do what you say” enough, this is probably the most important part of parenting because it helps build trust. If you are clear about your rules and expectations, leaving no room for misinterpretation, then the child cannot have any loop holes to work with. I raised three children who are much like me, very sarcastic, so if you leave any loop hole or grey area in what you say, they will take it and run with it. I have learned the hard way that saying what you mean and keeping your word are very important parts of having a solid relationship with your children.
We do not have to parent our children in the same exact ways, but consistency, follow through and compassion for each child as an individual will go a long way. Do not fear your child hating you forever, believe me, they will get over it. I have been told that I was hated more than once because they didn’t like me following through with a consequence, but as the years progressed they soon learned to simply respect the boundaries, respect what I say and that I am okay with the grumbles so as long as they obey my wishes. Every once in a while my children go backwards and we start all over again, but because I followed the simple steps above; they quickly turn back around into the children I know I raised.
What are some parenting strategies that have worked for you?
I need to work on being more consistent with my kids. My issue is that I end up feeling bad about something and then I give in.
It really is that simple, but people tend to over think it. I think we all watch too much self help talk shows.
I think when you look at those 4 rules, parenting appears simple, but the 4 rules in themselves aren’t always so. We have a 4 year old constantly tested boundaries right now, so things can get a bit challenging with him!!
Sometimes we get really mixed up and confused. When I observe it now, after my kids have grown up, it’s quite simple.
Agreed. I find it difficult to parent at times because of those rules, and my kids wanting to challenge but that’s part of the job. It isn’t rocket science it’s parenting!
Children definitely want to push their boundaries. All you can do is be consistent with your directions and rules.
Consistancy is really the key. Things will happen but your rules must be strong
This is so true. I tried to be as consistent as I could. My son knew what the consequences were and would decide if it was worth the punishment. I would have to change the consequences from time to time.
It can be so difficult to remain steady and consistent at times. But then I remember the same saying, Say what you mean, do what you say….and I get back on track. I’ve heard that phrase for years.
“Say what you mean and do what you say” is my favorite. Sometimes it is hard to remember this when in a heated moment with the kids but parents that threaten punishments yet never follow through will always have children calling their ‘bluff’.
Consistency is absolutely key. Even one time of backing off is an open door for my kids to walk through and push the boundaries the next time, making it that much harder to sit down on the issue. Didn’t take long for me to learn!
Being consistent with the rules was always key in our house. This is a great post.
These are all rules necessary to follow. Consistency is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.
My toddler is testing his boundaries lately. It is a constant struggle!
It does look simple, but so easy to get behind and then it becomes a struggle. It is important to be consistent and only say what your willing to do.
I could say my parents had a hard time on us when we were young. Though I noticed their consistency and of course the rules!
Consistency is definitely key! I was co-parenting my niece and her mom would completely slack on rules, which made my job parenting much harder! When there’s consistency, the job runs much smoother!
Your list has some great points. Consistency, definitely. And I’m w/you, it’s okay if the kids get mad… it’s all part of the process. 😉
Looks so simple on paper! Wish I could get the kids to listen to these 🙂
Consistency across parents is important too – sometimes my hubby and I will disagree on what merits a response and what doesn’t, plus WHAT response. But we keep working on it!
I have a 16 year old who is very sarcastic as well. (I wonder where he gets it from lol) Being consistent is still one of the most important part of parenting!
I have no children of my own and I try not to judge those that do, but I see the biggest problem is that people don’t follow through when they threaten a consequence. People in general just don’t learn that way.
Yes I totally agree with all of your simple parenting facts. The best thing is to be a bit flexible and enjoy every moment….even the trying times. Life is so fleeting!
You’re right, parenting is simple. It’s not rocket science, but it takes a lot of patience and practice. Practical advice is the best.
I try to remain consistent. That goes a good ways towards parenting for me. As long as they know, I’m the same all the time.
It also takes lots and lots of patience! I’d also add help and sleep too 🙂
Consistency is key, but that can be hard when their are step kids and multiple parents involved.
I really like how you wrapped it all up in those pointers. I really wish that it was always that simple!
These are some great tips! I love the title of your blog!