Let’s start this post off by saying that I am not telling you how to discipline your own children, I am simply writing this as another view on why spanking doesn’t teach any lessons and therefore shouldn’t be a form of punishment for a naughty child.
To spank or not to spank your child. That is the question. I think this is something parents discuss far before their children are even born; how will we discipline our child?! With so many techniques out there in today’s world, it’s no wonder parents are found with a hefty choice to make. Do we spank and do old school punishment styles that both you and I probably grew up with? Do we embrace a newer, more accepted approach of discipline such as the time out?
Decisions. Decisions.
I am guilty of having spanked my children from time to time. It’s happened. I admit it. I have found though, that it never works as a means to teach any lesson. Spanking far too often is done in a moment of high frustration and ends up being something a parent can do harder than necessary. This borders into child abuse. Hence why so many push that spanking should not be a form of discipline. I have more of an acceptable simple opinion to cite regarding the decision to spank or not to spank.
Hear me out.
Does spanking as a means of discipline teach any lessons? I for one feel that my job as a parent is to teach my children right from wrong. As a parent, it’s my job to teach consequences for actions. As a parent, it’s my job to teach my children to find a way to learn from mistakes or naughty behavior. As a parent, it’s my job to teach children to think about their actions. Does spanking a child teach any 0f those vitally important life lessons? I say not.
Why I think the time out for discipline is the best option out there:
- Children are learning, so making mistakes and being naughty, as us adults like to call it, are all a part of children attempting to learn boundaries, self constraint and what’s acceptable behavior or not.
- Providing a place in your home for a time out, where the child sits alone for one-minute-per-age, allows your child the time to calm down from whatever situation just occurred. Calming down is the 1st step.
- A time out when enforced consistently with the one-minute-per-age technique will allow your child to think about their actions and feel sorry for that or allow them to realize when they are naughty they won’t take part in “life as they know it” for a specific time frame.
- Placing a child in a time out, citing why they are being placed in the time out, and walking away to allow them alone time in a spot designated for time out sessions; shows your child how to handle frustrations. As a parent, you may be frustrated, if you use the time out, it teaches children to take time to breath, think and come back to the “real world”.
Teaching children life lessons such as; taking time to calm when upset, thinking about your actions, knowing that the real world doesn’t accept mean behavior, learning boundaries and being taught that the adult is the boss no matter what or simply teaching them to use their words when in high frustration mode, are all such important lessons you, the parent, should be teaching.
Spanking, to me, only teaches our children that they will get beat if they don’t follow rules, if they test boundaries, if they make a mistake. I firmly feel that spanking will teach a child to handle frustrations, mistakes of others, etc etc with violence. I firmly believe a time out teaches children to use their words, think about actions and take time to breath when frustrations are high.
Those are all life lessons I would much prefer teaching our future leaders, wouldn’t you?
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