The day you are born into this world, you have this unconditional love at first sight moment with your parents. After that first bond with your parents, the extended family come to visit and eventually you learn to love them for who they are. Not one moment, as a baby or even a young child, do you ever question loving these people nor do they question loving you. It’s all very simple from the beginning, but I have to ask, where at what point does loving your family unconditionally stop? It does stop. Not for all, but based on conversations I have had with other bloggers and online friends, that family unconditional love stops when the child is now nearing an age where they have opinions of their own. That unconditional love stops due to jealousy or the inability to be happy for the young generation in the family simply because they are happy. I am not sure what ages and when it changes exactly but I have seen it happen so many times.
I work hard to ensure that I show my kids through words, actions and simply being there even when they are at their most impossible moments because I want my kids to know that no matter what they do, who they are, or where they go in this world, that their Mama will forever love them, guide them and be there to lean on emotionally while they work through whatever it is that they need to work through in life. That is how all families should think, feel and be. I have seen this with many, it’s easier looking from the outside in and only getting one person’s opinion on how their family works; but if one family member is citing that feeling that I wish to instill into my kids lives, then most certainly the rest of the family feels similar.
It can be extremely emotional when years pass and then one day at the middle of your journey to finding happiness you want to share something happy with that loved one you used to be so close to but they don’t call or visit you anymore. They don’t really do much interaction on Facebook either. What has happened? It may be nothing, it may be something. It is sad to find out as you get older times change the bonds you have built as a young child, but at the same time you have to let go of those feelings. For me, it was difficult and took well into my middle adult years to learn how to cope with such feelings of being incapable of ever being told I was good enough. You see, lack of communication and interaction really can play a toll on a person’s mind and feelings. I am a sensitive person, always have been, that is why it took me slightly longer to get over that aspect of things than it did to figure out who I am and to love myself for who I am. I also had to realize that I am overly sensitive, especially during “that time of the month”, so I had to and still have to learn to step back and stop taking things so personally when that is not the intention of anyone.
Loving yourself is easy. I also believe that loving your kids is easy. What isn’t easy is tough love. What isn’t easy is letting go of the attachment you had with people and still loving them. I would be there in a heart beat for any member of my family, even the ones I go years without ever seeing or speaking to, because that day I was born we formed a bond and to me, that bond never gets broken. It simple gets misplaced from time to time.
I think family bonds hold together a lot tighter than outside bonds do, even if it doesn’t seem that way on the surface.