Kindergarten has Started: Who Cried Worse?

Now  I honestly don’t know if my son Aj cried more or less than me, but what I do know is I didn’t cry until I walked out of his classroom and rounded the corner. Listening to his screams and yelling for his “mama” made my heart just drop. I cried so hard that I could barely speak. I was laughing while crying because I had about three teachers tell me “he will be okay” and that “this will get easier”. I never cried when my daughter went to school, so having this separation issue with my son is all new to me.

Aj was all prepared on what to expect. Upon the advise of his counselor we tried to make sure Aj knew what was going to happen. We would bring him to school, drop sissy off at her classroom then go to kindergarten class for him. We would stay for a little while helping him find his hook, a seat and introduce him to some classmates, then we would leave and I would be back later to pick him up from school to head to soccer practice {his first day of soccer}.

Aj was all about this, he knew we would be leaving him and he was okay with it. That is until it was time to pick up the toys and he had to sit on the carpet for their morning “meeting” where his teacher would speak about the rules of the classroom and what their day would be like. I was able to tell the teachers aide that Aj does have anxiety and so if there is anyway to kinda work with him in gaining trust and confidence he will do just fine.

Finally there came a point where Aj just wasn’t going to sit with the class and he was going to try to cling to me and follow me out the door and so I decided it was time to just say goodbye, love you and walk out. That is what I did, after telling his teacher and the aide that I was leaving so please make sure he doesn’t chase me out the door, because that is the direction he was headed!

One of the things that made me cry bad was watching Aj’s anxiety kick in while in the classroom, his breathing got heavier, his eyes started turning reddish and tears started to form. I have anxiety myself and so I knew exactly what he was feeling inside. At that moment I knew that the longer I stayed the worse his anxiety would get, so that is when I walked out, listening to him scream was horrific to me and I just rounded the corner when tears came falling out of my eyes!

I didn’t cry like a baby with my first born and only daughter, but she also was in home day care situations plus had shared custody since she was 4 mos old. I had to work outside of the home, I never had the luxury of what I do now back then. My son, AJ, has never been away from me for more than a day or two when he was with his Dad and brother. Aj and I have been pretty much together for five years, no home day care no nothing but Mama for the most part. I am led to believe this is why we both had such an issue today.