What Did You Want to Be When You Grew Up?

I am convinced I am still not a grown up, although I act like one when needed and I have three children and a business, I still feel young at heart and love to be immature at times and just let loose when all other responsibilities are met. The truth is I am almost 30 years old and as I read about other Mom’s who blog turning 30 this year I find that most of them had dreams they either haven’t met yet or goals that were reached or almost reached. This topic got me wondering; did I ever really want to be a particular anything or did I have when I grew up dreams?

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Let’s see, I remember wanting to be a fire fighter when I was in first grade. I remember wanting to be a babysitter when I was a little bit older. I recall some where in the high school years my dream was to be an accountant and I even took two years of accounting in high school vocational technical center with flying colors. When it comes down to it, I don’t think I really had a huge passionate dream of what I wanted for an occupation.

After I graduated I started really wanting to be a mother. I have always loved children, something about their innocence and ability to love all, have no judgement and speak the truth  intrigued me about raising a child. I eventually simply wanted to be “Mom” and if you think about it I have succeeded there, I am a wonderful Mom to three children. Sure parenting is more difficult than babysitting someone else’s child but I wouldn’t trade my “Mom job” for anything else.

I also am a professional who works from my home computer. What better is there than that? I get to set my own hours, play with my kids all day, teach the kids the morals I wish them to learn and get them ready for school years when they will have to leave my nest to become their own individual self out in the world of school years. This is all fun while I get to work from home doing what I am passionate about, writing & helping others!

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On the topic of love, marriage and such …. I honestly don’t recall ever really wanting to be married. I don’t think the whole family with a picket fence idea came into my head. I worked since the age of 13 and helped take care of my little sister, sure I was semi boy crazy and enjoyed being with boyfriends but I never really had the dream to be married. I almost married someone right out of high school because he was perfect for me, but then I realized it would be no good getting married that young. I was a wild person back then and really would have hurt him had we got married and I told him this, so we never got engaged and of course eventually we broke up.

I have now been married and divorced but I don’t feel like my heart was ever in the marriage idea, I am almost numb to the idea of being married and living with someone forever. I like my simple life, I enjoy being on my own with companionship & adult conversation when I feel like it but I don’t yearn for that on a daily basis. It seems if I get too involved with someone I rush into a steady live-in relationship and it doesn’t work out. Space is required and time to get to know a person fully before you rush into anything, this is something I must remember and try to stick with instead of rushing towards a higher commitment with the wrong for me people.

My focus right now and what seems to keep me happy and grounded is knowing I am doing all I can without any interruptions to keep my children healthy, happy and loved. To me, I have reached what I want to be when I grew up but I still have some lingering relationship issues that certainly are keeping me off my balance.

SO tell me, what did you want to be when you grew up and are you living that dream?