Finding My Happy

Life is full of various tests I am finding out. First I had to get through school, next I had to get through the learning factor of underage drinking and driving, then I built my resume up by working outside of the home since I was 13 years old to find out I wanted to be a Mom. Planned a baby, had a little girl, left my boyfriend at the time, got on assistance to make it through until I found a place to live and a job. Found a job, found a babysitter, worked my butt off got off of assistance. Raised my little girl alone for almost four years.

Then I was pregnant again, this time unplanned, sick all the time, had to leave my most favorite outside of home job I had held to stay home sick all the time. Had to get back on assistance, had a baby, had to find a way to make money to get off of assistance again, found a way. Started doing direct sales, worked great, got sick of sales. Found my skills to start a work at home business, started finding awesome clients, built a business. In between building a business oh and going to online college courses, had another baby this last one was planned. Got married, got divorced, was at my happiest and most productive I may add.

My kids rocked, didn’t have as many problems with AJ acting out. Had a schedule and routine in place that worked! Business was good, family was good, life was great! Went back to the person I divorced to try to keep my family together thinking I left maybe for the wrong reasons or divorced too quickly. Business went down a bit, moved out of the town I wanted to move out of forever. Got a bigger house, feeling awesome! Got more clients, no longer probably ever have to think of being on assistance again unless of course another unplanned situation comes along.

Raising my sons 24/7, running business, trying to be more involved in school with my oldest. Always having to remind people that I am the residential parental person for my daughter. Living with many personal issues. Have to focus my mind on writing and kids as well as building my business back up from the unplanned issues that had come up causing me to back off of the business end as much.

So where do I find my happy? When do the tests end? When a close, long time friend informs you that you are truly not as happy as you come off, that you are not as outgoing and as much of a workaholic as you used to be you have to wonder … am I really, truly happy? Of course, I am realistic, as happy of a person I usually am, as positive as I usually am, I am still human and there are times when life drains me! Totaly, completely drains me and then I have to fight to stay awake.

So now I am working on finding my happy, I fear raising my daughter so long as a single Mom did put my mind into a place that will not really work well in a relationship. I am a person who doesn’t have a lot of needs, but I have needs and if they are not being met, well watch out because I will do what I need to do to make sure those needs are met. When my needs are met I am at my best, when I am at my best, my children are at my best. When my children and I am at our best, guess what? Business flows nicely, bills get paid timely and life is amazing! Even the little tests that come along in life fly right off my shoulders.

Let’s see … my happy clearly is my children & my business. So today I work on that, getting my children back on schedule, not worrying about personal crap that may be going on and marketing my business so that I am back to doing all of my loves again …. when I am back to all that I LOVE then that is when I will smile always, be more outgoing and more productive as a parent, a friend and a business woman!

So what’s your happy? Are you at your best right now?