If you are in a co-parenting situation I am sure you have seen what I am referring to as a part time or full time co-parent. This article is actually going to discuss more of the part time vs full time father figure. I have been amazed at the amount of fathers who are no longer with the mother of their child(ren) who are actually still very involved and could be considered a full time Dad. I remember back in the day growing up it was a given that if a couple was no longer together the mother would get custody and the father would become a part time figure in the child(ren)’s life.
My parents divorced when I was around eleven years old or maybe younger, can’t recall but I do know I have a Christmas video from 1991 which I believe was our last Christmas together as a “family” and so that’s why I say eleven or ten years of age is when the divorce finally happened and they never got back together that time. My mother had custody of my sister and me, we saw our Dad every other weekend and that is simply how our life was. We seemed to turn out pretty good with a few issues here and there but overall we enjoyed growing up and having time with both parents.
I have become friends with many fathers who honestly are the custodial parent or have shared joint custody of their child(ren) and I applaud these father’s for stepping up and being a real part of their child(ren)’s lives. I am impressed! I am also impressed with the Dad’s who have their children on a part time, so to speak basis, because having two involved parents at any level is a great feeling for the child(ren).
I will be honest in that I understand some men usually find that when they are no longer with the mother of their child that visiting their children simply becomes a matter of necessity versus a matter of wanting to be a parent or good role model. As a very involved mother who loves children and always has I can’t imagine only seeing my children every other weekend, nor can I imagine setting up a visiting schedule to see my children and then bring them home earlier than the time agreed upon. I mean who does that? Really?! I would want to bring them home later every time if anything because then I get more time with them.
So moral of the story is … I am a firm believer that both parents in a co-parenting situation need to understand that they both have equal rights and they should exercise these rights to ensure that their children grow up to be loving, well rounded children that can’t ever say they had a “part time” parent.
Questions for Thought: Do you co-parent? Do you have a co-parent who is part time or full time? Do you agree that more and more fathers are becoming more involved in the child’s life even after a split up? How do you feel about this topic?
New Blog Post Part Time vs Full Time Co-Parent http://bit.ly/ckp3KF
I completely agree. I think a child should be able to have both parents involved equally, or if not equally, at least know that the love is equally there. You’re right, some father’s have sole custody and the mom’s aren’t even around, so we’re no longer looking at just dads being bad or uncaring parents. I could go on and on lol, but I’ll stop now. Great post!
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Great post! More co-parents do need to be involved more and put in more. It should be more 50/50 instead of 85/15. I don’t think I could stand to be away from Elijah in a part time situation. I’m not even sure if I could stand being away from him for more than 24 hours! lol
My parents divorced when I was about 11 as well and it was quite odd to go from a VERY VERY VERY close relationship with my father, to seeing him maybe once a week, to seeing him not at all all in under 6 months, even asking the judge in our custody arbitration to have 50/50, I was told no. By the end of the first year my father got with another woman and moved in together. We talked maybe once a week on the phone and saw eachother maybe once a month. The girlfriend was very two faced and made it obvious we kids were just in the way.
Now at 25 I haven’t seen him but once for about 35 minutes when Elijah was born in 2008 only because my brother basically forced him to come. They didn’t really care about elijah and my step mom just spent the whole time talking about things she bought recently. It was akward and my dad didn’t even make an effort to talk. he just sat there staring off into space. Before that I hadn’t seen him for 4 years and that was when he came to stay with me for a month and than disapeared. that was a long story in itself. Needless to say he doesn’t care. He has a 13 year old and a 6 year old with my stepmom. Those are his children now. My brother and I don’t matter to him. That is clear.
I just don’t understand how ANY parent, mom or dad, could disown their children like that. I really dont.
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I have a friend going through a divorce right now, and his ex-wife will only let him see his daughter every other weekend, which would kind of be fine, except he travels for work sometimes and she won’t make an exception. I think it sucks!
When my parents divorced, my dad was “required” to see us three times a week for a certain number of hours. But, my mom let him see us outside of those hours whenever my sister and I wanted to. Ideally, my dad would have moved somewhere where my parents could share custody, but since he didn’t, we had a good arrangement I think 🙂
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