This weekend my friend helped me move Baby K’s crib out of my bedroom and into AJ’s room, I was nervous and he’s my baby so I wasn’t quite ready to let go and allow him to be in a room away from me. My boys have always been hard for me to let go, I don’t know why. My daughter who is 7 now has always been encouraged to be independent and I have had little problems with letting her discover life and learn as she goes but for some reason I am different with my two boys. I shelter them more than I should at times, I do a lot for them when I should be allowing them to be doing things.
I co-slept with my first born for a long time, it took me a while to get her out of my room and out of my bed. I kept thinking that it was an easy process and that she transitioned easily but her father reminded me that she was still sleeping in my room on a toddler type bed even after I bought my house in 2005 which means she was about 3 years old and still in my room. Something about being a Mom I guess makes me want my “babies” close to me at all times, and reality is they do need to learn some indepence. I did not co-sleep with AJ, he was always an angry baby and since I only nursed him 8 weeks I had little reason to keep him in my bed. Both my first born and last born were nursed for 9 months (oldest) and 11 months (youngest) so it was naturally easier for them to co-sleep for night time nursings.
Baby K had been waking in the middle of the night over and over, it seemed as though if he saw me when he woke up mid night then he wanted me and in my bed he went. Baby K would cry and scream for nearly 2 hours and still be all worked up after that amount of time that I would worry he would wake his brother in the next room and worried that I would be exhausted and unable to take care of the kids during the day with lack of sleep so it was so much easier for me to be Lazy Mama and place him in my bed so he would go to sleep instantly!
I finally realized Baby K needs his own space, even if it’s a shared room with his brother. Baby K was almost telling me in many ways that he was ready to share a room with his brother. During bedtime storybook reading he would often be found crawling into AJ’s bed and covering up as if he wanted to sleep with his brother. Finally the crib was moved into AJ’s room and after our normal bedtime routine I waited for the screams from Baby K, and waited for AJ to be woken up by the screams and then having two boys wide awake being overtired and grumpy … those screams, never came!
Last night was not all that bad afterall, I turned Toddler Tunes on in the living room over my TV for Baby K to see and hear from his crib in the bedroom and he fussed a very little before passing out and sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT for the first time EVER, Baby K was asleep somewhere between 8pm and 9pm and didn’t wake up until 6am, which is the boys normal wake up time! I was proud, sad, excited and feeling like “my baby is growing up” all at the same time! I certainly have mixed emotions about Baby K sleeping in his crib in a room with his brother, but the biggest feeling I had when he woke me up at 6am fussing was the feeling of accomplishment! I am proud that I was able to let go and allow Baby K his own space and I was happy to have my bedroom all to myself.
So transitioning Baby K Day 1 from Mama’s room to his own bedroom worked wonderfully and I can honestly say “it wasn’t that bad”.
Questions for Thought: How has transitioning worked for you when it comes to co-sleeping or moving baby from your room to his/her own room? Was it a hard choice to make and did the baby take well to the change?
New Blog Post It Wasn’t That Bad http://bit.ly/aqSIt8
Your article hit on what every mother has experienced. I co-slept and a lot of other mother’s I know co-sleep. My 10 yo still doesn’t like his own room, and it is only down the hall from ours.
Thanks Susan! I am glad I touched on a subject that many can relate to for sure!
My older ones didn’t have any problems (that I recall – their dad would probably say differently) transitioning to a big bed. The girl was probably the easiest because she stopped nursing at night at 3 months. She just didn’t NEED that extra feeding time. Peanut however is 4 and has only been in a big boy bed – in the room with his sister – for less than a year so the transition to move him has been much harder and he will still get out of bed and come to mine if he wakes in the night to use the bathroom. Definitely a proud and bittersweet moment though when the transition finally happens!
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Thanks for the comment! I am sure that had I moved Baby K into his brother’s room when he was out of his crib that he too would be crawling in my bed mid night 🙂 Funny thing is AJ never slept with me and he wanted to sleep in my bed last night, so weird ( I didn’t let him of course – LOL)
I never co-slept with Noah. He is three and a half and we have never slept in the same bed together except for a little nap. He would kick me out of the bed lol. Noah slept in his bouncer the first 3-4 months of his life in my room. When we moved he slept in his crib the first night we were in our house. Now he is in a toddler bed. He has to be in his own room or he won’t sleep well.
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It's hard to work through transitioning stages in a child's life. @brandyellen talks about transitioning & letting go: http://bit.ly/9KIJA6
Oh I know how hard the “transition” can be. I co-slept with both of my girls and the first one didn’t go to her own room until she was 3 1/2 (i know, I know) and the second one went to her own room at 1. I’m a firm believer in mom knows best and we did what we thought was right for our family but it was SO difficult!
Yay for getting baby k transitioned!
Elijah has always been a independent child when it comes to sleep habits. The first week he slept a lot in his little comfy seat or co-slept with me. By the second week he slept in his playpen in our room at night and slept in his seat or in our bed with me for naps. By the third week he slept more in his crib at night and in his seat and our bed for nap. By two months old he refused to sleep anywhere but his little comfy seat for naps and had to sleep in his crib for bed. He refused to sleep if he wasn’t in his bed with one of his special baby Einstein cd playing. Now at 17 months on he has a routine that cannot be changed or all hell breaks loose. Dave and I take him in his room together after he tells us he is ready for night night. I change him and then Dave turns off the light and we turn on Elijah’s nightlight and cd player. He listens to bedtime music cd by parent’s magazine. It’s so relaxing! I lay him down and cover him up and read 1 book to him. Then he waves to me, signaling it’s time for me to leave. I lean down and he gives me a kiss and hug and then I leave. Then he stands back up and Dave and him have a special game they play with Elijah’s stuffed Moose, Dave reads with him for a few minutes and then eventually Elijah will wave him off too, kissing and hugging him before he leaves. Elijah will then lay in his bed and read for a few minutes to his stuffed animals before kissing them all good night and then will goto sleep. lol He is so silly with that routine. He came up with it all himself too! At nap time I put him down and he does basically the same routine as he and I do at bedtime. Occasionally he will ask for a drink of milk or something but he doesn’t normally change from the same basic concept. We have a terrible time if we are out at family’s house during nap time or if Eli tries to stay anywhere over night. He will fight the sleep for hours!
I have always wished Elijah would want to sleep with me more. I love to cuddle him close, but he never seems to like to do that. I am hoping he will become more of a cuddler as he gets older. I can’t even get him to lay in my bed for 10 minutes! I’ve even tried laying in his room on the floor and seeing what he does but he just sits up and waves at me waiting for me to leave. He cannot stand to sleep with someone around! lol What a silly child!
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I did it with both of my children really early on, but I did worry about them a ton. I was always going in their room and making sure they were breathing. The attachment with mother and baby is huge. My son wanted to be on his own, my daughter and I spent a longer time together at night and I would do the same thing, just to get a good night’s sleep it was easier to keep them with you.
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