My Biggest Challenge
Being a mother was always “fun” to me. My first born made being a Mom so easy. Then comes AJ, my dear second born and first boy, everyone told me boys were nothing like sweet little girls. I had heard all these stories about “young boys” and how they are tough but so sweet when they get older. Well apparently AJ decided to be living proof of all those terror stories I have heard about young boys. If it is breakable – he will break it. If it is spill-able, he will spill it. If you say no, he will be certain to do it. If you say yes, he will be certain to not do it. This boy as been my biggest challenge.
Coping with My Biggest Challenge
My husband and I have been attending weekly therapy with our counselor to learn how to deal with a non-compliant child. This course is more for ages 3-8 but we are excited to say AJ has responded very well to most of the techniques. Surprisingly ignoring the “not okay” behavior has worked, it means we have a longer wait before PJ’s get on or before he does something we want him to do, but simply ignoring his spitting and his favorite response of “no” has created a more positive family atmosphere.
Not Okay Behavior
Not okay behavior is something that may irritate you as a parent but it is not a behavior that will cause harm to the child or anyone else. Ignoring the not okay behavior(s) creates a more positive atmosphere. You are not just “ignoring” your child; you have chosen to not make eye contact, not respond verbally and not respond physically to any behavior that you deem “not okay”. If your child is creating a dangerous situation for himself or others immediately discipline him using whatever method your family uses for discipline.
Ignoring Works
When our counselor first introduced this technique of dealing with a non-compliant child we seriously were thinking {and said allowed} that this will not work for our boy. I must say the look on our faces last night when AJ responded nearly immediately with positive behavior after we used the “ignoring technique” would have been a great Wordless Wednesday post.
To be continued… be sure to subscribe to my blog for the next post regarding this technique and how we use it in our home for the most success.
New Blog Post: Parenting Challenges With Non-Compliant Child http://bit.ly/kra9r
Ah, this is a technique from one of my favorite parenting books, Scream Free Parenting.
Most of a child’s misbehavior, or “not okay” behavior, it nothing more than a cry for attention, good or bad. My 2 yr old does this all the time. While a firm reprimand from his daddy works, the only thing that works for me is ignoring him. The more I tell him no, send him to the chair to sit, or take things away from him, the more he argues back. It’s an attention thing for sure.
Mine is 2. Man, what a challenging age!!
AJ responds to both myself and my husband the same way no matter what. Gosh lucky that yours at least responds to his father. Yes 2 is a tough age! AJ will be three in August.
I congratulate you for being smart enough and humble enough to know you needed help. What a gift to your son. I highly recommend the book, “Kids Are Worth It” by Barbara Coloraso. Judging from your post, I think you’d like her philosophy. My kids are teens now, and I’ve followed her philosophy all these years (it really works! 🙂
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Very interesting. It will be nice to see what else they say. Being a counselor, I like to see what techniques are being taught out there.
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Hi, I found your blog on google. Very nice layout and info.
Keep up the good work…great job!
yea nice Work 😀
thanks !! very helpful post!