Don’t think of a pink elephant drinking tea in your living room. What are you thinking about? Trying to stop thinking about your ex is somewhat similar to this. If you tell yourself to stop thinking about them, your mind will sneak up on you as soon as you stop paying attention to your thoughts. You can never know what you will be thinking about in one minute from now. In short, your thoughts are not in your control. So how do you stop thinking about something, especially when that something is the person you loved dearly and had so many memories with?
Well, this one is obvious. Do things that completely take up your concentration. Do something you enjoy or something relaxing. It could be anything, from playing video games, to kickboxing, to yoga. Just don’t fool yourself into doing things that you know will make your think of your ex; like watching a romantic movie.
Stop All Contact
Time heals everything. But if you don’t stop all contact with your ex, you will keep rubbing salt on your wounds as soon as your wounds starts healing. You start getting your life back together, and one phone call from your ex puts you back in the obsessive phase. You start thinking what your ex is doing in their life. You start wondering whether they are dating someone else. You start imagining what it will be like if you get your ex back and keep them permanently. You keep repeating the cycle until your ex decides not contact you anymore. Do yourself and your ex a favor and stop all contact from the beginning of the breakup. It will only speed up the healing.
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Focus On Your Life
No matter how bad your breakup was, if you stop focusing on your ex and start imagining the life that you really want to live, you will feel better about yourself. The key is to start picturing yourself being happy and achieving your goals without your ex in it.
Give Yourself Some time to Obsess
Give yourself some time to obsess over your ex every day. Even better, write all your obsessive thoughts in a journal every day. But make sure you keep it to less than one hour. Too much obsessing is not healthy for you.
Allow the Thoughts
You are going to grieve after the breakup. You are going to feel a lot of emotions, and you are going to think about your ex. Let the emotions come and go and let yourself think about your ex during that time. Grieving is an important part of moving on. Just remember, that this state of grieving will be over soon and you will be happy again. Learn to allow your thoughts instead of trying to block them. When you realize a thought is arising, acknowledge it, accept it and then let it go. Think of it as a cloud passing over your head. Soon, your obsession over your ex will become a thing of the past.
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