Comments on: Was Marriage More Eternal To Those Who Waited?

By: Terri K (@tkharmonic)

Terri K (@tkharmonic) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 20:10:17 +0000

I don’t know, I grew up differently than most of my friends. My parents divorced when I was four or five, and I was the only kid in my school with divorced parents. My Dad remarried several times and my Mom had a constant parade of men in and out of my life.

So for me, unlike most people, marriage was not a goal, but the avoidance of a bad marriage and divorce was.

By: MommaDJane

MommaDJane — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:42:41 +0000

Such good points. And nowadays it’s such a tough stance to take. I am trying my hardest to teach T to wait until marriage but unfortunately I’m an example of not waiting. Great post!

By: Cascia Talbert

Cascia Talbert — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:45:13 +0000

Yes abstaining is the right thing but when you are a young teenager this is very hard to do. I tried but failed by the time I was sixteen so I can relate to what you went through as a teenager, Brandy. I gave birth to my first child before my 19th birthday and did not marry her father. I am glad that I waited until I was older to finally get married, although sometimes I wonder why I married the man I am with today. But when I think about it and look at our beautiful children then I know why we are still together. I have had rocky moments in my marriage because to be frank marriage isn’t easy. But we have stuck it out for nearly nine years now and I wouldn’t change a thing.

By: debbi

debbi — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:37:34 +0000

IMO, YES, people who wait do have longer and better marriages.
I don’t believe that ‘waiting or not waiting’ is the real issue, tho. While I definitely believe that abstinence before marriage is biblical and BEST, I realize that it is only an indication of something more important–the attitude of those marrying each other. The article you referenced clearly points out that one’s view of marriage greatly affects the outcome–am I entering marriage to get something…or to gain something? If I am in it to get, I am focused on only myself. If I am in it to GAIN, then I realize that there is a mutual benefit, and that it requires commitment, hard work and *gulp* selflessness on my part. But the reward…WOW.
We all work hard at other things in life…parenting, our jobs, etc. Why is that we don’t give marriage the same effort? I can’t say that my marriage has always been perfect or easy (far from it), but the effort I have had to put into it has been FAR exceeded by the benefits I have received. And GOD has been the true key to keeping my marriage at its best.