This Story Upsets me to my Core – Blogger & Eldest Child Killed by Estranged Husband #support #endviolence

As with any law or rule in this world, Justice isn’t always served as fully as it should. The one area that falls into this “gets addressed when too late” is domestic violence. Domestic Violence can be both or either Physical and Emotional. The sad news is that the court systems and authorities have their hands tied when it comes to domestic violence for both physical and especially emotional abuse. The sad reality is that many die each year at the hands of a supposed loved one, estranged ex whether it be estranged husband or wife …. it happens often.

The sad part about these many parents being killed at the hands of a once loved one is that each person usually walked all avenues of trying to escape the abuse. Sure, a restraining order – just a piece of paper – won’t keep away abusers but it’s a step towards having legality to get the person away from you in any scenario. A restraining order can assist in you getting protection from authorities before the situation gets too bad because with a restraining order the authorities have a right to come arrest the person who is breaking such a court order.

This story was shared with me recently; a fellow blogger died at the hands of her estranged husband leaving three young children without a mother and without a father. It was deemed a double suicide and it’s so utterly sad. Based on the news story, it writes that Christine was trying to divorce this man she had married in 2003 due to his violent and erratic behavior. Christine showed the normal stance of an abused woman; she filed divorce but dropped it, she filed restraining order but it got declined. Christine was doing all she could do to survive by the sounds of this news report. Typical of abused woman and sadly, nothing usually happens until it’s too late.

For these three young children too late is not good enough. I’m saddened that three young children had to lose their parents so close to the holidays, after all it’s sad to lose your parents any time of the year and at any age. These three children are, according to a friend of Christine’s, staying with grandparents but people are uniting to raise money to give these little kids a loving Christmas this holiday season. I wanted to write this to share the story and help raise funds because this is my way of giving back to those children and their deceased mother who was a friend to many and appears to have been a great, loving mother.

My heart goes out to the family of Christine Keith right now, may you find peace in your hearts and help those children remember the great things about their Mother who shouldn’t have been taken from them. Raise these children to have hope beyond everything they fear due to this happening, raise them to fight back with legal ways to ensure others do not lose their life because of the flaws in our legal system.

I realize our legal system is pretty good and there will be flaws in anything, but this story hits way too close to home for me, so it saddens me but to see many standing up to help this family during their time of mourning, loss and need, makes my heart melt. There may be some bad in this world but I bet there is a whole heck of lot more good than bad.

Image from: http://www.ibtimes.com/lansing-murder-suicide-christine-keith-blogger-adventures-thrifty-momma-son-killed-randy-keith

Image from: http://www.ibtimes.com/lansing-murder-suicide-christine-keith-blogger-adventures-thrifty-momma-son-killed-randy-keith

Click here to read the news story on Christine.  Christine ran Adventures of a Thrifty Momma Blog. May she rest in peace. Hugs and love to all who loved her. There is a page going around us bloggers to help donate to the family, you can see where to donate to the family here using Jaime Dubey’s fund raising efforts page.

As with most sad news, there are people who may not be raising money in a legit way to help the family, so I invite you to try to find an obituary or some legit place that is indeed raising money for Christine’s family, I noticed there is a Church that has a post listed, but again, I’m not sure which fundraising effort may be legit or not. I hate the be cautious and warn you all to be cautious, but it’s always important to know where you are giving money to. In this case you may wish to wait for the obituary to come out, as that usually lists a legit place to mail funds to.

Someday I’ll Be Living in a Big Ole City

Taylor Swift has done it again and come up with the perfect song that I, a mother of a young daughter, can share in hopes to help boost her spirits with mean girls in school. I don’t mean mean girls as in totally abusive, need to be punished “mean girls” but rather those who just are mean and choose to make another person feel rotten.

I get the whole bully campaign and keeping our children safe, yes, if they are being physically and emotionally abused in school the issues need to be addressed in the most appropriate manner. Even emotional abuse can hurt badly. You see, an old high school friend’s mom shared something with me on Facebook the other day about teaching kids how being mean can hurt someone,

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take out a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now, even though they …………………said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child, they may say they’re sorry, but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.

SO in defense to those children {and adults} who have to deal with just mean people, remember to break the cycle … we don’t have to continue on in the cycle of those who raised us to be mean nor do we have to lash out as a means to protect ourselves from loving & caring people. You see “mean girls” are hurting inside too, let’s all help each other love one another and if we don’t like someone just leave it at that, there is no law that says you have to like everyone in the world. Just be respectful!

Enjoy the song…. Hear the lyrics…. breath … because you are worthy of LOVE!

 

 

Sprout Kindness Counts

I want my children to have empathy and compassion towards others, I want them to know what kindness does not only for others but for their own happiness. I am a Mom who has shown my children that making others smile is so worth more than any amount of money in the world.

Today I am excited to share with you a new multiplatform pro-social initiative that the 24 hour Sprout channel is offering for children of a preschool age to encourage the development of empathy.  Sprout Kindness Counts is a great way to start young with discouraging bullying. I know that my daughter is already starting to experience the occasional bullying from peers and peer pressure is really difficult for a child to deal with.

I know as a mom it’s hard for me to explain bullying and how it isn’t okay. I get upset that parents haven’t taught their children to be kinder to others. I know my daughter already donates every year canned goods around the holiday time and she wants to set up her own website to collect donations for victims of disasters around the world. I have been raising my children to have compassion, this isn’t to say my children will never be a bully, but I am taking the steps every parent should in educating children on feelings and treating people right.

Sprout Kindness Counts

This month Sprout invites you to Add Your Kind Act to the Count and share with your child what being kind to others can accomplish!

Road Rage: Are We all Really this Angry?

I am addicted to watching the local news as well as HLN on a week night basis, as far as television goes those are the most important things for me to watch. I am not big on keeping up with celebrities, I want to keep up with real life people. Lately one of the stories that keeps coming up is road rage, and I do not mean your racing and normal old school flip a person the finger road rage, I am talking extreme rage, violence behind the wheels that is causing pain to not only adults but to children as well.

There was a hammer attack during a road rage situation in Brockton,  Massachusetts. What happened was there was a minor traffic incident where someone cut another person off and then when cutting them off again they crashed. Two men got out and beat a man in the head with a hammer, seriously?!. Read more here.

In another incident there was a mother driving a mini-van with a few kids in the back. Some guy was upset, from what I heard, that the woman didn’t take off from the red to green light fast enough and ended up shooting (a gun) into her van hitting a little 4 or 5 year old boy. The boy is fine, with no major damage from what the news covered if the bullet had been just a hair one way or the other it would have caused major damage to this little boy.

My Thoughts….

What is with all of the anger in society today? Is it lack of sleep? The need to get where we are going fast? A feeling that wherever we are going is more important than where someone else is going? The need for control?

I don’t really give a crap what the excuse is, I do feel this is completely wrong. People are going mad, crazy so to speak. I get it with lack of sleep your brain is unable to function and lack of sleep with long work hours is what is being blamed for a majority of road rage incidents. As if I wasn’t paranoid enough driving down the road with crazy drivers, I now have to fear for mine and my children’s life when taking a drive.

I am that mom in a mini-van, I am that mom with three kids in the back most days. I am that mom who drives no more than 5mph above the speed limit. I am that mom who may not move right away when the light turns green because I am looking real quick to ensure everyone else at the intersection has stopped for their red light.

I am that mom who would stop and help a stranger, I am that mom who would smile and gently let someone sneak in line in front of me if traffic is backed up. I am that mom and I am that caring person. I can’t imagine being anything else and to think being that mom and that person may get me in trouble with a road rage idiot.

Have you been a victim of road rage? How about the person who flips someone off because they ticked you off while driving? I know we have all been in one situation or another like this, but we didn’t inflict true violence, I hope.

Could Your Child be a Bully? #cyberbullying

As a parent we wish to think our child could do no wrong, but reality is our child could be just as guilty of being a bully as they have the potential of being a victim in a bullying situation. There is so much talk about bullying nowadays and when I grew up I was simply told “those girls are just jealous of you” and forced to shrug off all of the mean words I heard.

As a mother, when my daughter comes home telling me someone picked on her I inform her to let a teacher know or tell someone of authority at the school because I don’t have authority during the day. I also inform her that sometimes children can say mean things but remember she is amazing and to not say mean things in return.

Well my daughter is a very well behaved, sweet little girl and as a child in school I do not always know what she is being shown about life when away from me. I trust that I have raised her in a way that she can truly understand right from wrong and make the correct decisions in life, however, she isn’t miss little innocent all of the time.

I recall one time her father telling me that another child told their parent that Miss Ki had given him the middle finger. Ki’s father went off, saying how sweet and innocent Miss Ki was and that she would never do such a thing. He was seriously offended that this child, who wasn’t a very well behaved child from what I heard, would say that our little girl had done such a mean thing. Come to find out, later on that day my daughter confessed that she did indeed give this little boy the finger. She had given the little boy the finger, not knowing what it means, because her little girlfriend had said to do it. So although my daughter didn’t realize what the finger meant, she was capable of being mean. I am proud that she finally admitted to her father she did do this because that shows she at least is aware of the idea of honesty.

Next story, my daughter had said some rude things to a girl on the school bus at her other school she attended for a short period of time. My first idea of a reply was “not my daughter”. The things Ki was being accused of saying I couldn’t imagine her ever saying to another person, let alone a girl she had called her friend for a while. Come to find out my daughter was guilty of being border line bully on the bus. When asked why she said it, “the girl was a mean girl. She was talking about doing things with a seventh grade boy, like disgusting things. I don’t like her, she is gross and mean”.  I get it, this girl wasn’t obviously being raised to understand talking about SEX with a seventh grader is completely inappropriate but Ki knew it was inappropriate and used the word disgusting about it. Ki got so offended and disgusted about this that she lashed out and said some very wrong things to this girl.

My response to my daughter? As a mother I have to show my children what right from wrong is and that when we do make wrong we have to make good of what was done wrong. I had my daughter sit down and come up with an apology letter. The only concern my daughter had was that she didn’t want to be friends with this little girl, and I told her she doesn’t have to be friends with anyone she doesn’t want to, however, she is still to apology and not say things like that to anyone ever again. This was not okay behavior and unacceptable. My daughter also got grounded at home with an early bedtime and loss of her cell phone.

My sons are not in school yet, but I do feel all children will be capable of being the bully as well as the victim at some point within their lifetime. This is hard to admit, but it is very, very true!

So … could your child be a bully? Are you willing to admit and realize that it is possible or would you rather think of your child as doing no wrong ever and always being a victim?

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