Rough Play for Kids Teaches Respect, Ethics and Boundaries

My two sons love to rough play and when they first started out with rough play, let me tell you what, I cringed! I really had to get used to the idea that rough play was fun for these too rough n tumble boys, and figure out ways to supervise that allowed them the fun with rough play. Through watching my two sons play rough, I have seen what it is that rough play actually teaches these boys and I am now an avid promoter of rough playing.

What Life Lessons Kids Learn from Rough Play

Many parents who come around, that are not parent to boys cringe at the idea that I allow my boys to play so rough. I have to explain this same scenario out to everyone who hasn’t had this experience; with rough and tumble kids. I want to be clear, girls can be just as rough and tumble as boys, they can learn the same skills that boys learn from this rough and tumble play so please be aware that this post may be focused on my sons, this pertains to girls as well.

What Kids learn from Rough Play With Supervision

Many nights a week my sons wish to wrestle before we start our end of night bedtime routine. If both boys are game, I allow them to wrestle which really involves some major rough housing. Take note: this is not hyper rough play, it’s calculated rough play where they each work to win the other. The goal, I believe, is usually for one of them to be pinned down over and over again. Poor Aj who lacks some fine motor skills, ends up on the ground more often than not. One rule to rough play for me, as the parent supervising, is I want to see that each have a smile on their face – meaning they look as if they are enjoying it. Rough play is for enjoyable fun, not for one to have a blast beating the other one up.

My little man started off these rough play adventures with a very arrogant side, he is my most self absorbed child which I feel is somewhat normal for his age group. I have had to work really hard to teach my little man to respect the boundaries of Aj and to really learn the cues Aj puts out there when he is genuinely hurt or simply not having fun anymore. Little man has come so far in learning his brothers cues and 99% of the time he does respect those boundaries. Each listen to ensure that they are not physically harming the other but boy do they take a beating.

Each love to grab and throw the other around, karate chop each other and simply run in a circle giggling a lot. They get rather rough to a point where I have to shut my mouth, the Mom in me will probably never be used to this rough play stuff, but it’s so important because it teaches some important life lessons and helps the boys learn how to handle testosterone boosts they will experience most of their lives.

Kids Learn life lessons with Rough Play

What Kids Learn From Rough Play

Sportsmanship - If supervised properly your children will learn sportsmanship through rough play. Each allowing the other to take turns, each respecting the other winning and being happy the other one. Each attempting to compete in a healthy way with each other.

Boundaries of Other People – If supervised properly your children will learn the boundaries of the sibling they are rough housing with. For example, the boys know when to be rougher with each other and when to be a bit more careful as they have learned to read each other as well as their sister when rough playing.

How to Handle Frustration – If supervised properly your children will learn how to healthily take out frustrations and testosterone boosts, your sons will have boosts of testosterone and frustration being of the male species, rough play has actually been researched and proven to help teen boys handle testosterone fluctuations better as well as learn to handle conflict properly.

Friendship, Bonds and Sibling Love – If supervised properly your children will learn to have a sibling bond of love and friendship with their rough playing partner, each having learned the three skills and lessons above, will eventually have a larger level of trust for each other, as well as the outside world.

Do you have rough and tumble kids? Do you feel they are learning some important lessons through this play? What lessons do you think they learn?

Yourself will Then Be Gold

Staring into a future unknown.

Longing for a glimpse.

A glimpse of what may be.

Decisions have been made.

Why is it so hard.

Even when they stare you in the face.

Second guessing is second nature.

We guess too much and don’t do enough.

Never fear the future.

Even when uncertain what it holds.

Stay true to yourself.

Yourself will then be gold.

**As a young child, of age 12, I started writing poetry as a means to cope with various troubles in my life. Today, as I face challenges yet again, I turn to poetry writing in hopes for resolution and inner peace.

I Love Having Children Who Enjoy Life to the Fullest

As a parent, well back that up, the day I became a parent for the first time; I had to ask  myself what type of person did I want my children to look up and what type of adults would I want my children to be. The answer was rather simple; I wanted and still want to have children who will learn, at a young age, to have respect, use common sense and have common courtesy as well as a respect for all elders and a fun loving spirit that takes them far in life. So far, my children have proven that the way they have been raised, the way that I have lived my life, has shown them that there is so much more to life than just one “like” or just “one way of life”… when my children see other people doing things in ways we do not do them, I merely explain that everyone leads a life that makes them happiest. We are all different and that is what makes us all unique and keeps things interesting.

Family Fun Time  (1)

I will tell you that raising boys has been somewhat of an interesting feat for me, having been around boy cousins on occasion but mostly my sister all of my life; it was easier for me to relate to and learn how to work with my daughter. The boys on the other hand have a unique personality about them that makes them ALL BOY. The boys much prefer to ruckus in the backyard, ready to rumble and play Ninja warrior or Star Wars pretend play games. The boys are ever so ready to get this rumble started immediately upon arrival home from school most days.

Family Fun Time  (5)

My youngest is so full of energy that doesn’t stop, even when it’s bedtime. Often times he is found doing headstands on the couch and jumping while running all over the house; inside and outside. K-man is my youngest and he fully enjoys life every waking moment, even when it’s suppose to be non-waking moments.

Family Fun Time  (3)

Geared up with his Ninja outfits and gadgets or the Ninja Turtles Turtle shell, K-man is always read for imaginary playtime. K-man much prefers running and pretend play over a board game. On occasion K-man does enjoy crafting it up with us, but that usually involves him getting into the shed for cardboard so that he can place a full tube of elmer’s glue onto it and say “here’s my craft”.

Family Fun Time  (6)

And last but not least you have my daughter who enjoys every single thing life has to offer. Ki loves to play board games and shown above was a moment we were able to enjoy a game of Scrabble alone, that was a fun time. Ki also enjoys getting her brothers all wound up hyper just to say “oh no I don’t want to play anymore” and leave me picking up their hurt feelings.

Each child is so different yet the same. Each child has their own “thing” that they prefer to do but we can also all go out and enjoy a nice hike together, or a water fight in the backyard, or a board game on a quiet day. Each child has a love of books and even the hyper K-man can sit during story time in the house. We enjoy a wide range of things in life; all of the children know how to navigate on a computer, laptop and cell phone because in this day and age they must know that skill as well as any other skill.

I am proud that my children have been raised to be well rounded, respectful little children who hopefully will carry on these skills learned well into their adult years.

 

This is Such Hard Work Mama

One morning I decided that K-man and I would do something different before preschool, you see normally we spend a lot of time coloring but I have a lot of puzzles for the kids and they never do anything with them. I wanted to give puzzle time a try with my little handsome preschooler, but that was more of a funny experience than a fun one.

Puzzle Time with Preschooler

I started our puzzle making time like I always do when I do a puzzle on my own, dumped all of the pieces out on the table and proceeded to pull out all of the border pieces. For me, putting together a puzzle is easier when you complete the border then work on the inside. For K-man this was just frustrating.

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K-man attempted to place pieces of the puzzle together but he wasn’t having any luck without his Mama trying to be supportive and show him maybe these two go together and so on and so forth. The puzzle making was a slow process and finally K-man pipes up and says “this is hard work, Mama. Coloring is a lot easier”.

Coloring With Preschool Son

And so I gave in and we decided that coloring was indeed a lot easier and more fun for my preschool son.  Maybe we will try puzzle making another day.

Suppose I do have Some Control Issues with Some Things

It is too funny because when I look at other people who are a part of my world, such as friends or relatives what have you – I can truly see when they admit they have control issues, that they really do. I really don’t think of myself having such issues and then it hits me. I watch someone, like the boyfriend, sweep the bedroom floor…

He looks to be doing it rather daintily not really putting any arm strength into it and getting the dirt in the dust pan? OH my goodness! I literally had to bite my lip, stand back and just not say a word.

BE Quite Brandy

It was too funny because even he could tell I was having a super issue with him sweeping and helping to clean up the upper part of the home as I was working to get things packed up and in order. I did not say a word but oh man I wanted to.

I laughed it off and realized that if anything is going to work in any relationship, I just have to do what I did – watch, maybe cringe, bite my lip and not say a word. He didn’t break anything, the floor got swept – even if not the way I wanted to, it got swept.

That day is when it dawned on me that I do have some control issues with certain things. Not necessarily a physical person and what he/she is “allowed” to do in that way but it more stems from how things in a household should be completed, etc.  I am thankful that I am able to control that control problem and as with any fault a person has, it’s always a work in progress.

The sweeping got done right, so what’s the deal?

The deal is, I clearly have some small issues surrounding the idea of having any form of help around the house. Heck even car troubles, I feel the absolute need to be the person looking at the car and/or doing the work. I am just that sort of person.

At least I am aware and working on that …. and at least he has a sense of humor about it – that works out perfectly!

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