We All Have Valid Reasons for Parenting Decisions and That’s OK

I think the joy of being in a free nation, I use that term lightly, is that we can make our own parental decisions and that’s okay. I love that there is such diversity in our world because honestly it brings a new insight to situations, decisions and life. I may have strongish opinions about certain things, but that doesn’t mean I would push you to believe the same, I may just share with you my thoughts and where I am coming from. The forum is always open on this site for your to respectfully disagree, but don’t try to convince me to change my mind. I won’t judge you for your own decisions. I am a firm believer that we all parent the best we can and make decisions based on our own life experiences and what we feel is best for our kids.

At the end of the day only you know what’s best for your family and your children. We all have different comfort levels with various parental decisions or life decisions. And that is okay!

 

I choose not to spank my children, not saying I haven’t ever smacked my son’s bum from time to time, but overall spanking is not a disciplinary tactic I prefer to use. I feel spanking doesn’t teach any lessons and hitting a child, even as a punishment and not in an abusive way, teaches the child that we lash out when someone does something wrong or we are upset with someone. I prefer to keep a non-violent and non-physical household. You may not make that same choice and that is okay!

I wrote yesterday about how I decided leashes were not something I would use for my son’s. I didn’t feel they taught any lessons that I wanted to teach my children. Clearly, there are some who believe in using leashes for their children and have their own valid reasoning behind choosing to do so. That is okay!

I choose to teach my children to use their words, to do a good thing to someone they have harmed or been mean to. I prefer making all parental decisions based on a respect and trust for them as individual human beings. I prefer to parent in ways that teach a life lesson at every corner. And you may not. Guess what? That is okay!

Each family event we have, things we do, places we go, etc etc; all have valid life lessons taught to the kids. I just prefer to make every day a learning experience. I prefer to allow my children a bit more freedom than others may be comfortable with, knowing that my kids may make the wrong choice. I am prepared in consequences for actions because I am a proactive parent. I believe if you give children some lead way to make their own decisions in many areas of life that you in turn create well rounded, respectable little human beings. My three kids will always be taught that they are human and will make wrong choices; it’s just a matter of how we handle those wrong choices that matters most.

I feel that spanking, leashes and other such areas of controversy are not worth utilizing in my home because they do not teach any lessons I want my children to learn. And that is okay!

We need to embrace other people’s mindsets and embrace our differences. As long as a child is not being neglected or abused, then agreeing to disagree on topics is perfectly okay!

 

Only Child Syndrome & Transitions

My daughter is my first child, she will be 9 years old in October and I will be 30 in October. As I watch her grow and listen to her attitude of an emotional little girl sounding more like a teen I am realizing how difficult this parenting deal can certainly be! Since things get difficult because my daughter tends to have the “only child syndrome” when she gets back from her Dad’s house, I tend to cherish smiley moments more than one would normally cherish them.

It is extremely difficult to co-parent in a positive way, I will not get into the issues I am having right now with co-parenting because, well quite frankly it’s not fair to write about those issues on here. All I can say is that my daughter must go from my house with two siblings to her father’s house with no siblings. I can’t imagine this transition to my house after being an only child all weekend can be easy on her. I am working on trying to find a way to make the transition easier because it’s all on me to make this transition easier for her.

I also don’t care for excuses so this means, even though I am well aware that there may be an attitude issue when she gets back from her Dad’s, I don’t allow any excuses for her behavior. Such as most recently closing her ears while I was speaking to her about something. I think that was very rude! She replied that she could still hear me, but my point was that it is rude to plug your ears when a parent is speaking to you about something. It is more the point behind the action rather than her really hearing me or not.

Anyways …. as my daughter gets older times get tougher. She is simply too old for her britches as they say and this makes parenting so difficult. I want badly to teach my daughter that love is unconditional but when you have a shared visitation plan going on, well it makes it difficult when the two parents are parenting somewhat differently. My daughter is currently struggling with the fact that even though a parent is upset with her, they still love her. A lesson that needs to be taught to her and fast is that parents forever love their children no matter if they get grounded or not.

How do you teach your child that love is unconditional? That you still love them even though they were reprimanded for being rude or not listening to you. I use words and hugs, but I think more than words should be used to establish this point behind unconditional love.

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