Getting in all of the End of Summer Sleep Overs

My daughter is blessed in that everyone loves her and wants to sleep over or have her sleep over. That means once the end of Summer break comes she starts scrambling to get in all of her last minute sleep over plans.

It’s sad for me that she sleeps at people’s houses, because she is already gone so much with her Dad so it seems I barely see her and during the school year I see her even less. I am happy that she loves life so fully though, so I guess I will just continue to cherish the time we have together.

Usually when it’s a friend they sleep over here, rarely does Ki spend a night at a friends house when she is at her Mama’s house. I just am the fun popcorn making, movie time sleep over type Mama. I assume that makes it easy for Ki and her friends to want to sleep here.

For now, my daughter is getting ready to go sleep at her Great Gram’s and she will attempt to make friends with the horses, sheep and goats. My daughter loves animals and loves her Grena dearly so this will be a great sleep over night for her.

Meanwhile I am home with the double trouble team, tomorrow Aj turns 7 years old and he is spending alone time with his Daddy tomorrow as a way to  make him feel special on his special day! What a busy couple of weeks to end out Summer break, it’s going to be a blast but if I disappear that is why …. I am busy making sure the last couple of weeks of Summer go out with a BANG (in a good way)!

The Stubborn, Strong Willed & Determined Child

I have no clue where my youngest gets his stubborn, strong willed and determined attitude from. Couldn’t be his mother. Nope. Not at all.

It’s great to have those skills in life, maybe when you are grown and trying to be successful in working from home or working in general, however, when you have mastered those personality traits at age four, it can be a nightmare for the parental figures.

Case in point. When the four year old doesn’t want to sleep. He doesn’t sleep. My other son was recommended children’s benadryl then later on melatonin but I obviously don’t know the dose of melatonin for the four year old and wouldn’t give that without the recommendation from the pediatrician. Dangerous stuff when not used properly. Children’s benadryl on the other hand has been recommended in part time doses by the pediatrician. I know my four year old’s dose due to the wasp attack during soccer season. The problem I have with using any sleep help is that I don’t want my kid to think he “needs” that to sleep, and since I have tried it a few times he seems to beg for “sleep medicine” when he is having a difficult time sleeping.

I refuse. Flat out refuse to give my kid benadryl because he asks for it and will sing, rub his back, his head, lay with him if need be and not give him that. No way, no how am I going to raise a medicine addicted kid when I barely ever take medicine my own self. So the challenges at bedtime and occasionally during the day have been that my four year old is scared of the dark, scared to be alone in a room even during daylight hours and is seeing shadows that spook him. Even though my four year old can clearly tell me the shadows are from various toys, his bed posts or even his own self, he is still scared.

I recall my daughter going through this same phase, thankfully her phase was due to sleep apnea with enlarged adenoids and tonsils. They were removed. She was better. K-man doesn’t seem to have this issue. He is just plain out right scared or being determined to get into my bed, because he knows Mama is exhausted and will so let him in her bed if the situation doesn’t get resolved within about an hours time.

I am working on being stubborn, strong willed and determined when it comes to bedtime with this kid, but it’s difficult. Hopefully this weekend I can catch up on sleep and come back swinging on Monday night when bedtime rolls around. Every other night I have an issue with this kid. Every other day I have an issue with him too with the fact that he isn’t practicing good safety rules when walking near roads and crossing roads. I end up forcing him to hold my hand while he kicks and screams. I explain to him “I would rather you be safe so hold my hand, flip out if you need to, but I am not letting go”. What does the four year old reply with? “I am not moving until you let go of my hand”.

It’s a mom vs four year old stand off every other day, but I am winning so far and I will succeed in showing him who da Mama is….

Sometimes There’s Too Much Going On

And you just have to take a moment to breath….

Let go of things that can be let go and forget what you can’t control…

Remember that you are not given more than you can handle…

Life has a way to always working out to be the best it should be.

So .. with that being said … I am taking a much needed break and may just sleep while my daughter has a visit with her Great Gram this weekend.

Maybe my sons will enjoy some Daddy time so this Mama can close her eyes and recoup to be the best ever come Sunday night!

I am emotionally and mentally exhausted from all that is on my plate right now. I hope you all have a lovely weekend and know this, I do have a couple posts that were previously scheduled between now and Sunday, so enjoy!

Keep smiling.

{AJ Update} Emotional Struggles as a Parent

When my son Aj was born I knew there was something different about him, he was that baby that barely anyone would babysit twice, he was an angry baby from day one. I still breastfed him for eight weeks but being born at 9lbs 5oz this boy wanted to eat more than I could handle nursing him for, while taking care of my then four year old kindergartner daughter. It was all too much and so Aj was switched to formula around 8 weeks of age.

I will be honest, I had this gut feeling that something was up with Aj, but part of me just remove that thought until he was 2 years old. The reason being? I was comparing Aj’s personality to his older sister who was one of those children you would have loved to have six of because even to this day she is relatively an easy child to parent, gives me few issues about anything and is a real sweetheart.

My son Aj is a real sweetheart, but only when he is on a “good mood” high. This child will not be affectionate most times, that actually irritates him to his core. Funny thing is, he was born into an affectionate kind of family but he hates affection most days. It has been difficult to have a child who doesn’t want you to hold him when he gets hurt, who doesn’t want you to kiss his boo-boo’s better and who isn’t really into the family fun and laughter times.

To watch a child grow for the past five years with a low key emotional response to anything has been extremely difficult, especially since he has two siblings who love affection and just being near one another as a family. I was blaming myself for not being ready for a second child, after all Aj wasn’t planned and for not being affectionate enough as a Mother to him when he was a baby, but I have been reassured over and over again by not only Aj’s counselor but other specialists and my immediate family that this is simply how my son is wired. Nothing I did, nothing I can do will change it.

If a psychiatrist diagnoses Aj with a mood disorder, quite possibly bi-polar, it is all about a chemical imbalance in his brain and that my friends isn’t something any parent can create, we don’t have a magic wand to get inside of our children’s head and mess with their gene build up or brain wiring so to speak. So even though I accept this isn’t my fault, I still wish there was a way to fix it without medication. I know bi-polar people have to be on meds all of their life and that alone makes me worry about him having health insurance as an adult and coverage from me if I should happen to no longer have the health insurance he has now.

I know, I worry too much, but don’t we all go through a time or two of worrying about our children? For me, this has been three years of worrying and I won’t stop now because worrying is what created the drive in me to fight for a solution for  Aj since he was two years old.

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Worrier by Nature: Aj Missing Too Much School? #parenting

Aj started kindergarten this year and he has done amazing there. Finally able to spell his name and each week on Friday he brings home a school folder with the weeks work and school/teacher notices in it. The work is amazing, Aj is surely showing off his intellect. The only problem that Aj seems to have is that he is extremely shy, but other than that he is rocking kindergarten.

I am a worrier by nature so of course I worried forever before he entered school and here he is showing me he is able to be independent and do well at school. I worried about other health and emotional/behavioral issues he has had all of his life yet he seems to be getting better as he gets older. There is still a hint of aggression which I don’t like but it’s no where near what it used to be.

Aj has always been my child who lives in the pediatricians or specialists offices. So far he has had to be late or get picked up early a few times for ENT appointment, counseling and pediatric visits.  I hate to see him missing school, especially since it took him a few days to really settle in and no longer cry when I leave him at school.

I worry that they will keep him back if he misses too much time, which really isn’t fair to him because he is smart. Come October he is going to have to miss a full week for tonsils & adenoids getting removed and I just get so frustrated about this. It’s like every time this poor kid gets settled in and starts to get used to one thing he has to go to get surgery done on something.

In the past he has been home with me so there was no missing school issues, but now that he is in school that is his priority, he needs to be in attendance yet he also needs his t&a removed because it’s causing sleep apnea which could be what is causing many of his emotional/behavior type issues from the lack of sleep all of his life. It’s a necessary procedure and not something we want to wait for. We obviously have the option to do it during the next school vacation which would be Thanksgiving or Christmas break but in all honesty this is causing sleep apnea, which is not okay and he doesn’t sleep well. His sleep is important for healthy brain and how he does on a day to day living basis. I wish to see him sleeping better and as soon as possible and so it’s scheduled for beginning of October.

I wonder if the school will start to give me a hard time? I feel once your kid is in public school they are in control but that shouldn’t be the case … parents should always be in control and should be able to actively communicate what’s going on with the school so they are aware it’s not bad parenting, or a lack of me thinking school is important. I am worrying again, about things outside of my control.

For example today Aj is out of school, after his pre-op appointment with the pediatrician we noticed he was itching like crazy and his face seemed to be breaking out in hives. We walked to soccer yesterday which meant him and Ki were walking in tall grassy areas so I wondered if he has poison ivy or something. The pediatrician said it’s hard to say, it’s definitely an allergic reaction to something so give him benadryl .. well benadryl puts him to sleep sooo he has to stay home because he can’t be in school itching with something we don’t even know if it’s contagious & he can’t be on benadryl passing out in school. If it’s not one thing – it’s another – I swear!

Do you worry a lot about your children? I hope it’s not just me.

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