This Story Upsets me to my Core – Blogger & Eldest Child Killed by Estranged Husband #support #endviolence

As with any law or rule in this world, Justice isn’t always served as fully as it should. The one area that falls into this “gets addressed when too late” is domestic violence. Domestic Violence can be both or either Physical and Emotional. The sad news is that the court systems and authorities have their hands tied when it comes to domestic violence for both physical and especially emotional abuse. The sad reality is that many die each year at the hands of a supposed loved one, estranged ex whether it be estranged husband or wife …. it happens often.

The sad part about these many parents being killed at the hands of a once loved one is that each person usually walked all avenues of trying to escape the abuse. Sure, a restraining order – just a piece of paper – won’t keep away abusers but it’s a step towards having legality to get the person away from you in any scenario. A restraining order can assist in you getting protection from authorities before the situation gets too bad because with a restraining order the authorities have a right to come arrest the person who is breaking such a court order.

This story was shared with me recently; a fellow blogger died at the hands of her estranged husband leaving three young children without a mother and without a father. It was deemed a double suicide and it’s so utterly sad. Based on the news story, it writes that Christine was trying to divorce this man she had married in 2003 due to his violent and erratic behavior. Christine showed the normal stance of an abused woman; she filed divorce but dropped it, she filed restraining order but it got declined. Christine was doing all she could do to survive by the sounds of this news report. Typical of abused woman and sadly, nothing usually happens until it’s too late.

For these three young children too late is not good enough. I’m saddened that three young children had to lose their parents so close to the holidays, after all it’s sad to lose your parents any time of the year and at any age. These three children are, according to a friend of Christine’s, staying with grandparents but people are uniting to raise money to give these little kids a loving Christmas this holiday season. I wanted to write this to share the story and help raise funds because this is my way of giving back to those children and their deceased mother who was a friend to many and appears to have been a great, loving mother.

My heart goes out to the family of Christine Keith right now, may you find peace in your hearts and help those children remember the great things about their Mother who shouldn’t have been taken from them. Raise these children to have hope beyond everything they fear due to this happening, raise them to fight back with legal ways to ensure others do not lose their life because of the flaws in our legal system.

I realize our legal system is pretty good and there will be flaws in anything, but this story hits way too close to home for me, so it saddens me but to see many standing up to help this family during their time of mourning, loss and need, makes my heart melt. There may be some bad in this world but I bet there is a whole heck of lot more good than bad.

Image from: http://www.ibtimes.com/lansing-murder-suicide-christine-keith-blogger-adventures-thrifty-momma-son-killed-randy-keith

Image from: http://www.ibtimes.com/lansing-murder-suicide-christine-keith-blogger-adventures-thrifty-momma-son-killed-randy-keith

Click here to read the news story on Christine.  Christine ran Adventures of a Thrifty Momma Blog. May she rest in peace. Hugs and love to all who loved her. There is a page going around us bloggers to help donate to the family, you can see where to donate to the family here using Jaime Dubey’s fund raising efforts page.

As with most sad news, there are people who may not be raising money in a legit way to help the family, so I invite you to try to find an obituary or some legit place that is indeed raising money for Christine’s family, I noticed there is a Church that has a post listed, but again, I’m not sure which fundraising effort may be legit or not. I hate the be cautious and warn you all to be cautious, but it’s always important to know where you are giving money to. In this case you may wish to wait for the obituary to come out, as that usually lists a legit place to mail funds to.

Sometimes We all Need a Good Cry

I am a firm believer that a good cry, the release of tears, can honestly make a person move forward quicker and feel better faster. What happens when you feel so bottled up that you can’t cry though? That’s me. I used to be a cry baby, cried over anything, extremely sensitive {okay I am still sensitive} but now? I am lucky if I get a tear drop falling and if it does fall it quickly disappears.  All too often I get into this moment where I feel as if I can’t take anymore of things and I just want to curl up for a long nap.

Being a mom to three and doing all that I do to keep up and remember things on a regular basis is extremely difficult, but it never used to be. I have to wonder if my hormones are messed up since having three children for you know I haven’t been to the doctors in ages and I am having major pains in my lower abdomen on a regular basis. It seems I go from almost tears to somewhat okay then back to wanting to cry again.

That’s when I pick up my prepaid cell phone and start texting my friend, I am sure they have their own problems and I don’t mean to vent to them but who else can I vent to? I don’t have anyone inside of the home that listens or talks to me when I get into the mind set that I can’t handle much more.

Raising my daughter was easy, but now that she is getting into the tween years some days are a challenge, however, I can take her challenges, she is outspoken and honest so I don’t have to play guessing games with what’s on her mind, usually. Raising my three year old son is relatively easy although he was born into the family being the PUNK, uniquely nicknamed, quite honestly by accident, after my father who is also called PUNK.

Now, my middle child, who is currently five years old and will turn six in August has been a unique child since day one. This is a child who has never really cared for snuggles, hugs nor kisses. My five year old never was the cuddling type and always had this underlying anger since the day he was born. I have come to realize that it’s not necessarily an underlying anger per say, it’s more of an underlying irritability about him that means any moment he can erupt into uncontrollable anger. Now that my five year old can articulate his words better, he is able to explain to me that he can’t think hard enough to control his aggressive outbursts and it makes me sad.

It used to be aggressive outbursts at home only, in places he was comfortable but now since we’ve been going out to the library for Bingo for Books once a week and other such places to have fun times, he has become comfortable in public, enough so to punch me in the chin at an art show for the kids and almost kick his sister at Bingo for books. The problem that really hits home for me, is that many stare at me and him as if I am a horrible mom with an uncontrollable “bad son”. That hurts me to my core.

What these strangers should see is that I have THREE children at these events and out of the three only this ONE is acting in such a manner, so maybe they should think out their judgement prior to giving me a look that makes me feel like a failure. I only feel like a failure for a few moments, for on my strong days I am able to remember my own practice “you can only feel what you allow yourself to feel, no one else has control over your feelings”. I am human though and it hurts, as a mom and as a person, to watch my son fight for control over his mood swings and for me to be fighting to get his medicine right and to work with him and figure out if he is indeed bipolar or not.

It’s been a five year struggle and fight, but that is what I will keep doing and so I say to all of my friends that I text like crazy when a bad moment happens, thank you for listening to me, for not yelling at me for venting. That is what true friendship is for and anyone with a child who has such symptoms can completely understand how difficult it is to do this alone. Friendship means the world to me, now if I can only have more local friends to lean my head on their shoulder and cry because sometimes we all need a good cry!

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