My One Tidbit of Advice For Anyone and Any Situation

I, like most of you, have been through a lot of experiences both great and some bad. I, like most of you, have learned from these mistakes and do my best to spread my advice on what to do as a means to assist others in seeing a different side of their scenario. Some people love the advice, while others think I am meddling in their world. You see, I am great at lending just the right advice to others but not always one to take my own advice. I think that’s called being human.

How to Lead a Happy Life

I have a lot going on in my world right now. In December I accepted a marriage proposal and have yet to really think much about the actual wedding planning. There are a lot of other things that weigh more heavily on my mind and heart than a wedding. Children for example. There is a lot going on behind the scenes.

I wish I could share every last detail, because I am sure someone out there is dealing with similar issues, but alas I cannot share details. All I can say is that co-parenting should be easier than most people make it out to be. That frustrates me beyond belief at how so many fail at co-parenting their children, in return the children pay the ultimate price and anyone else who is part of those children’s lives. Sigh.

I think my simple most non-complicated piece of advice I can lend you all, no matter what you are dealing with, is this;

Try not to be quick in reacting with emotional responses. Take time to think, with an open mind, where other people may be coming from with what they are saying or doing in life. Take time to realize that, while you think you are doing it all right, the other person/people may think you are doing it all wrong. If you can keep a positive mindset, speak with heart felt opinions, and keep an open mind about the other side of the story, then I think you can survive nearly any unpredicted scenario that plays out in your life.

Picture a Day – My Sons in a Collage

My sons spend a lot more time with me due to their Dad’s work schedule. You see, my daughter’s Dad doesn’t really work per say or whatever he does, I have no clue but it leaves him having more time with Ki which means I barely see her some times, she hates that. A girl needs her Mom at this stage in her world, but explaining that to a first time parent? Have fun … so here are pics of my boys during their times with their Mama and together… they have an amazing bond that I admire and enjoy watching grow day by day!

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StrongMoms® Empower <– Isn’t that The Truth! #StrongMomsEmpower

Being a parent is difficult but when you make certain decisions it can get more difficult, you see your elders and peers may feel they know best and wish to push that advice onto you as Gold rather than their opinion that can be politely declined. I have had my own Mom moments where I just felt as if I wasn’t good enough, my choices being made were not the right ones, heck I have questioned myself from time to time without listening to others who feel they know best.

When trying to think of an example, all I can think of is that time when my middle child was a baby at eight weeks old and I had to switch to formula. Having breastfed my first born for about 9 months, due to her weaning off on her own, I felt like such a horrible failure for not being able to keep up with nursing my hungry baby boy. Around 8 weeks of age I gave my son formula instead of breastfeeding or pumping and feeding him breast milk, I just couldn’t handle breastfeeding this constantly hungry baby boy. Without naming names, I was judge by this one person who often had pushed me to be a breastfeeding Mom, I felt pressured to continue breast feeding even though it just simply wasn’t the right fit for my baby at that time, he went on to have 16 oz of formula each night just to get to sleep. I couldn’t keep up with breast milk for that kind of hunger.

Take the StrongMoms Empowerment Pledge

There are times even now when I open dialogue about alochol, drugs and even sex with my kids that people are just shocked that I even discuss such subjects with my oldest. I would rather my kids hear about these things from me than their peers, I want my kids comfortable with me, not the outsiders that may not educate them properly on these life changing topics. I think some people forget that we are all doing our best as parents and really that’s all that matters – that each parent takes care of their kids in the best way they know how.

I read a post about Dear Mom on the iPhone and in all reality I have been that Mom. The one who had been too busy trying to get work done to support the kids and the one who just got so occupied with being on top of work that I forgot the main reason I chose to work from home …. to be with my kids more. It takes practice and so I can feel for that Mom on the iPhone, I have been here without the iPhone {just a regular ole smartphone}. The one who forgot that kids just grow so quickly and that eventually if you keep walking that path of unknowingly putting your kids second best, that one day they won’t call Mommy anymore. Kids who grow up like that will eventually turn to someone else for advice & attention. The sad part is it will probably be their peers who shouldn’t be the ones advising them of certain topics. I have compassion for that iPhone Mom, because I can see how easy it is to forget your inner Mommy, but the good news is that each day is a new one and if you realized today that you didn’t spend enough time paying positive attention to your kids, then tomorrow you can have another chance. Or, better yet, put that iPhone down now and realize whatever is on that phone can wait, your kids must come first before you blink and they are adults.

Sibling Love

As part of partaking in this campaign I am to write my own StrongMoms Empowerment manifesto, while there is one that is superb I think I can get my own based on my unique personality and that is found below … what would you include in your StrongMoms Empowerment manifesto and will you go over and take the StrongMoms Empowerment Pledge as I did?

Brandy Ellen StrongMoms Manifesto

I am participating in a blog campaign with One2One Network. I have not received any payment. All opinions are my own.

The Joys of Sharing my Daughter

My daughter is much like I was as a young child, easy to be around and most anyone will take her. The boys, they only get taken by their Dad because after all him and I raised ‘em so we know how to deal with them. They are a joy too, but my family is just used to girls and the family that may know how to take the boys are either too far away or simply not up for an overnight with high energy boys.

The daughter though, is only super high energy when around her brothers. Alone, she is your average ten year old girl who loves being spoiled by her Great Grandmother or anyone for that matter. Girls just love that attention. So not only do I share my daughter with her Dad; two days a week and every other weekend, but I also share Miss Ki with Great Grammy aka Grena {my grandmother}.

Ki riding Daisy during last visit with Grena

The joy is that Ki loves spending time at Grena’s, it’s great for both of them to have a strong relationship and Ki gets to ride Daisy {Grena’s horse}. I am scared of horses, they are beautiful animals but just a tad too big for me and I am fearful. Ki is not fearful, she loves horses so much and this past week all I got to hear about is just how excited she is to be able to ride Daisy and get up, get dressed and go spend time with the horses with my Gram’s Australian Shepard at her heels.

Ki loves time spent at Grena’s, even though she loves being home too, it gives her some space from the double trouble boy team and allows her to enjoy some much needed girl time. So today is Sunday, and Ki will return and I can not wait to hear all about her wonderful weekend with her Grena.

The Choice to Smile Through the Rain

When you see me on the streets, in a store or at the school you will normally see me smiling, I look happy the kids look happy and it appears as if I have not a worry in the world. That is because I have made a conscious decision to smile through the rain. I also made a conscious decision to focus on what makes me happy and try not to let what I can’t control run me down.

The problem with that theory on life is that at times everything comes down at once and the smiles, happy go lucky mindset is unable to keep up. I crash. I literally lay down and pass out to sleep numerous hours. My mind decides it can’t take any more and my body just shuts down. I don’t like that my body does this and I don’t like that so many challenges are on my plate at once, but life is not easy nor is parenting. I deal with life the best way I know how, take one thing at a time, smile through the rain and deal with only what I can control.

Only my closest of friends and some online friends know what is going on in my personal life for I made a choice not to broadcast my problems, it keeps things less stressful. I don’t condone gossip and I refuse to be a part of the local gossip mill. Not that anyone would want to gossip about me, I really don’t do much besides work and be mom, still I am not willing to take that chance. One thing I have also learned in my almost 31 years of life is that no matter how much you try to vent to others, citing that you don’t want advice, they will have their own set of advice based on situations that they feel are similar.

I don’t mind advice, hell I can give myself advice, it’s just that in some areas of life I suck at actually taking that advice or following through with what I know is most likely best to do. You see, life is not as simple sometimes as a yes or no answer and so you roll with the punches keeping your head held high and focus on things that make you happiest and the things you can control.

So when you see me smiling out there in the world, remember I am human too with a lot of things on my plate right now, do not confuse my decision to focus on what makes me happy as having an easy life; for that is not the case at all.

Check out wedding venues to make you smile today if you are stress planning a wedding.

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