I Won’t Let Them Suffer for Any of my Insecurities #motherhood

It was that time of day, my 9am to 11am shift at Moms.com was over, it was a sunny, warm Thursday morning and the boys had been so patient, entertaining themselves while I worked for two hours within the same room as them. I knew I had to do something, but we have been to the family pool nearly every day this Summer, I didn’t want to pack up and drive over to Vermont, I wanted something different today. The boys deserved to go out and have fun, because four week days this Summer they will have to endure me working 9am to 11am, they deserve to have the remainder of the day all about them. I work from home to make memories, so what kind of memories could be made on this fine day?

Overcoming my Own Insecurities to be the Best Mom and Woman for My Kids

In all reality, I really didn’t want to go out in public, I ran out of waxing strips awhile back so my eyebrows are growing in and my upper lip is certainly ready for a waxing. I wanted to stay home, sit in front of the fan and just veg out, but that is not what my son’s would enjoy. Summer break is about them, it’s about having the best few months ever during their break from school. At least, that is how I feel.

I needed to just suck it up, get on my bathing suit and shorts with a tank top, ignore my bloated belly and over sized breasts. I needed to just think about the type of person I am, not what the shell of my outer body says to others. By the way, who gives a crap what others judge my body image to be from; I always say it’s from having kids, Winter time and lack of my exercise routine. I eat pretty decently, and I stopped working out; but really? It’s not my place to explain to another human being why I look the way I look. I am me. I am happy and the type of person I am is the type of person I want my children to grow up to be; what I look like is irrelevant.

Overcoming my Own Insecurities to be the Best Mom and Woman for My Kids

I hate that my breasts are huge, they are huge because I fed my children though. I can’t complain for having large breasts because they grew from a C cup to an H cup because I fed my children. I lost a lot of weight at first from breastfeeding and I shouldn’t have to hide my top heavy body because people can’t handle seeing cleavage. I do not wear outfits like above, except when I am at the beach, but I do like v-neck shirts that are appropriate outside of the beach area. This is me in my bathing suit, one in which you wouldn’t usually catch me in, but this year, I decided to make a change. I decided to change my mindset…. I will be okay with my body. The wide hips, the lack of a bum, the large top heavy breasts, my large biceps, my upper lip not waxed right now, the eyebrows not perfectly waxed and the freckles that cover nearly all of my body …

I am embracing every bit of myself, because if I do not do that, how can anyone else? Also, how can my children learn to embrace their unique individual traits if not by their parents example? I expect the parents to be the role model, so while I can’t look in the mirror and totally LOVE my body image, I can do a few things; accept myself for who I am and focus on the love of my personality, accept my body as is or work out, excercise and go hiking with the kids to teach them that my body weight does matter health wise, but beyond that? My body weight will not keep me down. I will enjoy Summer break with the kids, and I will do so with my head held high, a skip in my step and a huge smile upon my face, because

I am making this the best Summer ever, and one in which will set the standard high for all future Summers.

 

Father’s Day Weekend

We have spent the first week of Summer break enjoying family and pool time. I thought I would share a bit about Father’s Day weekend, we headed out on Saturday to go to the farm, better known as where my Dad lives.

Family Time Summer Break

We enjoyed great conversations, laughter and food with my sis, daughter’s best friend, my three kids step mom and me. It was a wonderful feast! We also played pretend volleyball, went swimming in the pool and just had pure fun!

Roasting Marshmallows

Since my daughter had her best friend over for the whole weekend, we decided to have a fire in the fire pit that night and roast some marshmallows. Three of the four kids made smores, while my son Aj decided to roast a hotdog as he doesn’t much like smores. It was a grand ole time and it just showed my daughter and the boys that Mama knows how to have a great weekend and sleep over partay!

More memory making moments will be shared through out the Summer as we venture to Day out with Thomas in North Conway, NH, Water Country in Portsmouth, NH and have a Reading Under the Stars Event sponsored by Scholastic this Summer.

School Lunch Boxes and Kids Chores

I wish I was the mom who let my kids have school lunches. I have seen the school lunches and I am glad they are there as an option for some kids but my kids will not be eating them. Maybe on a rare occasion I do let them have it, but not usually. I can’t let Aj have school lunch for he gets really stuck in a routine so if he has it one week he will want it that same day next week, and so on and so forth.

This means every night of the week I am to make a new lunch for my kids. I try to spruce things up but overall they end up with similar lunches each week. I usually try to sneak in a healthy option of cucumbers or sliced peppers or something for the little man because I am determined to get that kid to like more food options besides unhealthy ones.

Kids Can do Chores From age 2 and up

After a long day of work at home, picking up kids and dealing with homework. The last thing I want to do is pack up a lunch. Sure, I have been making uncrustables from home on the weekends. It helps alleviate some time. I also slice up green or red peppers to place in sandwich bags for quick toss into the lunch boxes but that doesn’t alleviate the time needed to clean each of the three kids lunch boxes out and pack it all up for the next day.

This is where chore ideas are coming in. I need my three kids to get back on track with chores. I think their new responsibility will be to empty and clean out their own lunch boxes. Why not? They are 5, 7 and 11 plenty old enough for that task and as I have sunk into this life I am currently living, I have started to lose some of myself and that includes making kids do some chores. We are a family and the kids have always had responsibilities but I got sucked into where I am now and they have fallen backwards along with me. It’s time to start assigning lunch box cleaning to the kids.

I think the best way to alleviate the chore list for mom is to encourage more involvement from the kids! At age 2 the kids are plenty old enough to start having small tasks to do around the house. I have always explained chores to my kids like this, “we are a family and as such, we are to each do a small part to help each other lead a funner day. If we each have a task to do, that alleviates it from Mom’s hands and in turn creates more time for us to spend together having fun!”

Wish me luck …. it’s never easy to get kids BACK into chores after slacking for over a year!

 

Where Did We Spend Our Mother Daughter Day?

We recently were able to have a Mother Daughter day during February vacation. This was a planned event because my ex husband contacted me stating he had vacation time to use, he wanted to use it to take our sons an extra overnight during the vacation. I was so happy, because I only get a break from my sons for two days every other week during the school year, during Summers they see their Dad twice a week for a few days alongside their every other weekend visits. School years are long, and it’s sad the boys can’t see their Dad as much so I am always game to say YES when he asks. If the boys want to go, they can go, simple as that.

My daughter was so happy when I told her we would be having a mother daughter day during the vacation! I thought maybe we could go to the Upper Valley Humane Society and hang out in their cat community rooms or maybe go visit my sister and baby niece. Ki was game for both. We timed it just right so that we were able to visit my sister and get some fam girl time in while still head to the Humane Society afterwards to get our kitty time in.

Mother Daughter Day

Livy has grown so much, she is about 13 months old now and walking. While Livy is only saying a few words, she has a whole lot to say. She loves books and she loves her Auntie as well as her cousins. Livy is a joy to be around. My sister is shown above in the right photo getting a HIGH FIVE from Livy. The things Livy has learned amazes me, my sister is truly an amazing mother.

We had a blast just hanging out with the girls. My sister, my daughter, my niece and me laughed so hard and chatting it up. Livy even started to brush our hair, what a cutie pie!

Mother Daughter Day

This was such a great day to have with my daughter and I am happy that we enjoy visiting with family because that made the day  more special for my sister who is often home without many friends. You know how that goes, you have a baby and all of a sudden you have to find more Mom friends because those friends who don’t have kids just “don’t get it”. The joys of motherhood. It was a happy time this day though and allowed me to be in my happy place for a few days afterward.

Mother Daughter Day

Livy is climbing all over the place and laughing a real belly laugh now. What a fun thing to witness, a babies first laughter. It was adorable. Livy was trying to climb over her cousin without success because those pants were keeping her from lifting her leg high enough. It cracked us up watching her climb everywhere while babbling her own stories to us!

We had a great couple of hours visiting then ventured off to the Upper Valley Humane Society where we sat in the cat rooms trying to get shy cats to come to us, reading all of the information on the adoptable kitties and wishing that we could adopt a kitty right now. I know we can’t afford a second pet at the moment, so we simply go and socialize with the kitties from time to time in hopes that it brings the kitties some joy to have company while they are waiting for their forever homes at the Upper Valley Humane Society. 

It was a wonderful day. I am always thankful to get a mother daughter day in. It made February vacation all that more special for us.

What Brings me Absolute Joy?

Each day I wake up to the same routine for two weeks in a row; Aj needs his specific morning routine and breakfast ready for him. My youngest needs his scrambled eggs or toast or cereal whatever he finally decides upon after 15 minutes of being indecisive. My daughter, the eldest of three, wakes up groggy but always has a slight smile on her face when she gets a hug from Mama. Each morning I wake up to children happy, healthy and thankful for their Mama who wakes up each day bringing them joy, but what I get in return is nothing money can buy.

February Vacation with my Kids

Each day I get a new perspective on life, as I am working to ensure Aj’s day goes as planned, that there isn’t any kinks to offset him before school to get him frustrated. Each day I wake up ensuring each child’s needs are met, for when my children’s needs are met, so are mine.

My job is Mom.

Being a Mom has brought me absolute joy. Being a Mom has brought tears to my eye. Being a Mom has left me tired at an early hour. Being a Mom has left me wondering, “am I doing this right?!” Being a Mom has opened my eyes to the world through children. Being a Mom has brought me absolute joy.

When I can begin each day with hugs, kisses and I love yous and end each day the same; that to me is my success story.

What Brings me Absolute Joy?

It doesn’t matter what falls in between; the normal chaos of raising a middle child who thrives on his day to go as planned and structured the same each day while also juggling his two siblings that are more free spirited like their Mama. It doesn’t matter how drained I can feel at times and want to curl up and cry over the fact that my middle child is struggling. You see, my middle child may be struggling but he doesn’t see it that way. My middle child sees himself as a loved boy, with parents who adore him and work hard to ensure his life is lived to the fullest. My other children see a brother who struggles but is a joy to play hide and seek with or pretend play MineCraft or Sonic. My family sees each of us for the love we have together, because together we bring each other absolute joy.

This is my happy place, my safe zone and it is also that for my children. So when asked what brings me absolute joy, my reply is simple;

Being a Mother.

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