I Choose Me

I watch as you head down a path that I have seen before.

I sit back and shake my head in worry over what is going to happen to you.

I wonder if there is anything I can do.

Then I realize ….

I cannot break me to help you anymore.

I cannot live a life where my inner peace is being challenged with every moment.

I cannot handle watching you make decisions that continue on a path of dark.

Then I realize …

I can lead a happy life, I can make things better.

For me.

I can choose to let go.

I can choose to move on.

I can choose to alleviate any negative that steps in my path.

I have a choice … and I choose me.


Sick, Sick and More Sick

You all know it’s not normal for me to not write for a few days. I wasn’t online anywhere since Tuesday because I had some form of a sickness overcome me. You see a few weeks ago I started getting so tired and sleepy that I could barely stay awake.

Then I went to the river with my friend, her kids and my kids on Tuesday, then back to her house. We had a good time for only a short period of time. I do recall waking up feeling like my throat was a bit sore but I just assumed that was from the night time air coming in through my air conditioner for that happens sometimes.

Then it hit me, Tuesday night, sick as a dog. My fever started at 100.7 and wouldn’t go away. Still today, I have a fever of about 100 degrees. Two nights ago I was at 103 all night long and couldn’t sleep more than half an hour at a time. I have not kept any food nor drink down in my system since Tuesday.

I decided, I have to go to the hospital. So I went, they did a urine test and came back saying “Good news, you don’t have a UTI and you are not pregnant” as if I would be preggers anyways …. so they got me ready for an IV because I was very very low on fluids. They drew blood, put a 1000ml of fluid IV drip on me and there I laid in the hospital.

They ran my blood work, they decided to take chest and abdomenal xrays, my first xrays of my life! Coming back from the xray area, the ER doc came in to tell me he thinks I will live, at least until December when the Mayan calendar ends. He was a funny doc, anyways, the blood, the xrays — everything showed normal status. It seems I have one nasty bug.

And it’s still with me, so my life is consisting of laying in bed, living on the toilet and taking baths to try to keep my temp down. Also trying to take care of kids, it’s a wonderful time. I Just hope that my kids do not get this, it’s the most awful sickness I have ever had. And nope, I still can’t keep any fluids nor food down :-(

BUT I do have work to do or else I make no money, so I will be periodically getting online in my office to get some work done so I can still pay bills. After all being sick means the house is a mess but it can’t mean I lose too much money.

Getting Ready to Party-Aaay

Tomorrow my daughter turns 9 years old, so at this moment in history almost 9 years ago I was in labor right at this very moment.  I was in labor for over 30 hours with this baby girl! I hated being in labor, swore I would have no pain meds and well I gave into pain meds for sure! Helped ease the pain oh and also keep the birth at bay. Yes, pain meds ended up causing all of my contractors to STOP for like what seemed forever.

I don’t remember much of anything else but I do have notes taken from my daughter’s father that night and the video to prove the pain I was going through. Yes I set up a camcorder and filmed the whole birth of my daughter, minus the 30 plus hours of labor. It’s on VHS somewhere around here.

Any-hoo we are partying tomorrow to celebrate my sweet princess turning NINE!

I let my daughter invite whoever she wishes and I look forward to possibly meeting some new parents I had yet to meet in the past five years of her being in school. Parents and siblings have been welcomed so I hope some will stay to enjoy the Ragu Pizza Cupcakes and Ragu Chicken Parmesan I plan to serve!

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Day 25 & 26 EA Sports Active Workout

Day 25 was a short workout for me, I didn’t burn as many calories as normal with my medium intensity workouts, but I was happy to at least get a workout in before I headed out to work my last day of training for my new job.

The key is to workout daily because I have found if you let your workout slide for more than 1 day it’s hard to gain motivation again. I took 2 rest days in a row and man it was hard to get me back on that EA Sports Active, but lucky for me, AJ encourages me by taking all of my workout items so that I can workout. He will tell me everyday I need to workout and I bet the biggest reason is that after I do my workout he is allowed to do what he calls “his workout”. AJ’s workout is the Wii SPORTS game where he is normally found playing boxing, but he also enjoys playing baseball.

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