Parenting: The Approach is Irrelevant, The Ultimate Goal is Important

I think about parenting all day and all night, this has become a huge part of my life since I earned the title Mom. I honestly can say parenthood is the most important part of my life, a close second importance is my work. There are many ways to raise your child, every book and every other parent will lend you advice on what worked for them. The key is that those methods worked for them. The advice you receive, the suggestions others lend, are not made of gold and are not something you have to follow. Kindly accept advice and knowledge shared from one parent to another, but never question your ultimate way of living if it works for you and your children.

One thing about co-parenting or even parenting as husband and wife under the same roof is that not even both parents will have the same approach to every parenting scenario. Mom and Dad do things different, this is just a fact of life. Mom and Dad have a different approach to life, so why wouldn’t they have a different approach in parenthood? Makes sense that they would approach things differently, even in regards to their own children.

What is extremely important as two parents raising children together, is that both are on the same goal path. This means that Mom and Dad both have the same goals in mind with the type of child they want to raise into adulthood. It’s best that you have discussions beforehand about your wishes for your not-yet-planned child, but sometimes that doesn’t happen. Life seems to go on whether you are ready for it or not.

The best tips I have for you in regards to ensuring you both have the same goals for your children is to do the following:

  • Discuss what is important to both of you and collide them together in your child’s upbringing.
  • Be sure you both are on the same path to instill the same morals and personality traits in your child.
  • Be respectful that your approach and their approach may be different.
  • Keep open communication to ensure that you both are indeed still working to parent on the same path.

It’s really irrelevant if your spouse handles your child differently than you do, what really matters most is that you both are working to raise the same type of child. This is important. Everything else is just fluff, and honestly a child who has two parents who approach things differently will assist that child in having more of an open mind to life as they get older.

School Lunch Boxes and Kids Chores

I wish I was the mom who let my kids have school lunches. I have seen the school lunches and I am glad they are there as an option for some kids but my kids will not be eating them. Maybe on a rare occasion I do let them have it, but not usually. I can’t let Aj have school lunch for he gets really stuck in a routine so if he has it one week he will want it that same day next week, and so on and so forth.

This means every night of the week I am to make a new lunch for my kids. I try to spruce things up but overall they end up with similar lunches each week. I usually try to sneak in a healthy option of cucumbers or sliced peppers or something for the little man because I am determined to get that kid to like more food options besides unhealthy ones.

Kids Can do Chores From age 2 and up

After a long day of work at home, picking up kids and dealing with homework. The last thing I want to do is pack up a lunch. Sure, I have been making uncrustables from home on the weekends. It helps alleviate some time. I also slice up green or red peppers to place in sandwich bags for quick toss into the lunch boxes but that doesn’t alleviate the time needed to clean each of the three kids lunch boxes out and pack it all up for the next day.

This is where chore ideas are coming in. I need my three kids to get back on track with chores. I think their new responsibility will be to empty and clean out their own lunch boxes. Why not? They are 5, 7 and 11 plenty old enough for that task and as I have sunk into this life I am currently living, I have started to lose some of myself and that includes making kids do some chores. We are a family and the kids have always had responsibilities but I got sucked into where I am now and they have fallen backwards along with me. It’s time to start assigning lunch box cleaning to the kids.

I think the best way to alleviate the chore list for mom is to encourage more involvement from the kids! At age 2 the kids are plenty old enough to start having small tasks to do around the house. I have always explained chores to my kids like this, “we are a family and as such, we are to each do a small part to help each other lead a funner day. If we each have a task to do, that alleviates it from Mom’s hands and in turn creates more time for us to spend together having fun!”

Wish me luck …. it’s never easy to get kids BACK into chores after slacking for over a year!

 

Happy Happy Birthday to my Lovely Daughter

Today my daughter turns 11!! 11 years ago around 4pm Eastern time my daughter came into this world and gave me the title of Mom. Through out the years I have watched her go from the little girl who was all full of curiosity about her world, learning to talk and walk …

2007 Hiking Mt Ascutney

2007 Hiking Mt Ascutney

I watched as my daughter started to have a mind and opinion of her own about the world. I watched and listened as she grew into such a beautiful young girl. I watched as she grew and I continue to watch and learn about who she is as an individual …

IMAG1401

Today my wonderful daughter is 11 years old, next year she will be in Junior High and I feel that she is growing too fast. I suppose every parent feels as if their child grows too fast, but one thing I don’t feel is that we haven’t spent enough quality time together. I feel blessed to be able to spend quality time with my daughter, I feel blessed to think of her not only as a daughter, but as a friend and a teacher. My daughter teaches me new things every day and she also is a reminder of what’s positive in my life, she reminds me each day that I am a great mother, no matter how many mistakes I make as a parent, she always loves me. I also always love her no matter what, and she knows that!

Mother Daughter Lunch on Mothers Day

So today I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my first born child. I hope the next year brings you success, love and happiness. I hope you continue to be your own self and not bow down to any peer pressure that may arise in these years of changes. I love you dearly daughter and I am forever here for you!

Friendship – Always There Even when Apart

Wedding Friends

Friendship -

Being a friend does not mean smothering each other with each waking moment of existence. Honestly if you are a parent who is able to smother yourself with anything but taking care of your kids during the day, I applaud you because you are a much more multi-tasking person than I.  There will be times when you have gone and angered your friend to the point where they have to separate themselves from you. There will be times when you and your friend don’t even talk for months because one or both is so busy with their own life.

We are adults after all, right? We have to ensure the everyday needs of our children are met,  well unless you are someone who has all of these simple needs taken care of by another person. Then we could argue you are not a true adult then or have one amazing husband/partner.

It doesn’t matter who you are. How long you been friends. How great of friends you are. Truth is – once we all turned adults, life happened. There isn’t always time to make for needless hours of talking or texting. Sometimes even the most positive of people, myself included, need a break at the end of the day from people in general. It’s nothing offensive, it’s just called knowing what you need to do to keep your own happiness within and doing it.

I barely speak to any of those I call friends, not because I am not thinking about them, but because I have a lot going on. And I mean a lot. I have to find a rental. I have to save for a deposit while still paying current bills and paying back my Mom for oil costs this Winter. I also have to make sure I am bidding on jobs and looking for more work to ensure that I have work consistently rolling in. I also have to tend to my kids, their schedules and their needs. I have to fit in family time fun somewhere in the middle of all of that too.

Life is hectic at times and sometimes if you see me at the school and we chat, then that’s about the only time in the day we get to catch up because I am busy every other moment and when my hyper boys finally lay down to sleep, all I want to do is crash in my recliner without a single word from anyone else.

My point is this: no matter how long you go without speaking to someone, no matter what happens to try to tear away the bond that was created between two people as friends, that the friendship will always prevail. It may take a bit before you all start communicating regularly again. It may not take a bit. Truth be known once you are true friends, with a true bond, that will always be there. No matter what.

Be Prepared for #baby Weekend – Various Products for #baby #mom

Be prepared for the next few days to be full of various products for baby, new mom or both. All of the products that will be featured have been sent for my niece and/or sister and/or brother in law to enjoy and I am featuring them because I have a lot of new baby moms on my blog boards who I am sure would love to learn more about various eco-friendly products, fun products and what not.

Must Have Baby Gifts

So readers, please be patient if you are not a mom or dad of a baby – because Friday, Saturday and Sunday will be FULL of baby stuff.

After that? We will be returning to our regularly scheduled randomness from little ole me!

Happy Weekend y’all! I am off to cart my oldest around to her School House Rock Live Jr show all weekend.

Xoxo

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