Cherish Every Breath You Have

I have this habit of observing people. I don’t mean to do it, I simply happen to be a person who listens well, watches closely and takes in every moment with any person I come into contact with in person or virtually. It doesn’t take long to realize who is a positive, kind person and who is a miserable, not-so-kind person. I’ve been through a storm of crap in my life; I could go on and on with all of the bad stuff that has happened to me. I don’t.

Why?

I feel that, to dwell in the bad things that happened will only cause more bad things to happen. I firmly believe that if we focus and remember those happy moments and the pieces of our life that are worth living for that we will be positive, kind people.

I don’t have much patience when it comes to adults. I tolerate adults minimally because I watch as many complain day in and day out or worse, they can only mention and think about all of the bad that has happened to them. Their response, when I attempt to direct them to a happier place is that I haven’t been through what they have been through. This is correct. No two people have walked the same path in their life, touche!

There is a little secret about life that I want to let you in on though; every single person in this world has had a storm of bad things happen to them, some worse than others, but somehow some way there are those people who push forward and beyond those bad times while there are others who feel those bad things give them a right to be miserable forever.

Be happy to be alive. Inspirational words from Brandy Ellen!

To me, life is far too short to remember and think about all of the bad that has happened. If you think only of the bad things then you are pushing your heart to turn black, stone cold. I personally prefer to be happy. I want to enjoy my life for as long as I can breath! If I am breathing and awake every day, then that’s a day worth living.

I challenge you all to this – do not allow others to bring you down in their misery, after all misery loves company. Lift above the bad that has happened, rise beyond the darkest moments in your past and LIVE. Live life to the fullest, cherish every breath you have, hug your loved ones, show kindness to fellow human beings. I guarantee you that once you start to cherish the life you have, that great things will start happening. Don’t give up if good things don’t come right away, after all, they say good things are worth waiting for. Keep chugging ahead and waiting for those good things all the while being happy; happy that you are alive!

Do not take life for granted, those bad things don’t have to break you unless you allow them to!

I’m Sorry, Are you a Perfect Parent? #parenting

After my children have fallen asleep and it’s time for my butt to meet the recliner, I find myself surfing Facebook. I love seeing what my family and friends have been up to. I love seeing pictures of the newborn babies, it seems so many have had a baby recently. I enjoy seeing what blog posts others have shared, and I often click over to read {if the headline captures my attention}. I recently was sucked into an article about a Dad not treating his son very nicely in a store. As I read this blog post, I found myself wondering if the post was meant more towards feeling bad for this child the blogger witnessed or shared as a means to use this scenario as a form to build their own self up. I was slightly confused as to what purpose this blog post was shared for; after reading the article I felt two things;

  • Sorry for the child to have to be treated in the way it was foretold by the blogger writing their blog post for the world to read.
  • Sad that the blogger had to use a possible one-time bad moment incident to build their own self up as a parent.

I tell you, I am not perfect and if any parent ever says they haven’t yelled at their child or responded inappropriately to something when dealing with their child, then they are either 1) an angel or 2) lying.  I feel I am the most amazing, motherly kind of mothers, but I too am guilty of yelling when it’s not necessary, responding to situations incorrectly and simply just being human. The difference is, I don’t judge another parent for making the same parental mistakes any parent can make. It’s not fair to place any parent, including your own self, up on a pedestal of perfection. That isn’t truth and it’s not real life.

Judge Less, Help More

Every Parent Faces Stressful Circumstances

Whether you are someone who runs around stressed like a chicken with their head cut off or you prefer to keep your stressful situations within the household, every parent gets stressed. No matter what type of parent you are, we are all capable of handling a certain level of chaos before we are tilting over our full meter. Again, we are humans, this is normal. When parents are facing more stressful scenarios in their life, their sleeping habits suffer. One thing every parent needs to remember is that a full nights sleep can be the difference between a nurturing patient parent or an utterly frazzled parent. Which do you prefer being?

Every Parent and Child Has Their Own Family Challenges

Whether you are the parent of a special needs child or the parent of children who have no special needs but simply enjoy life in their own childlike way; children are not easy to raise. No matter what type of child you have or what gender, they all test boundaries and limits at various stages in their lives. That is, in my opinion, how children learn to grow up and become well-rounded, responsible adults. Raising children during these challenging years can take a toll on any loving parent, again, we are human we can only handle so much on our own. Remember, everyone has their own challenges that the outside world may not see in any obvious form.

Judge Less, Help More

Extending a helping hand, or a nod with a small smile like “I know what you are feeling” can mean so much to another parent struggling to keep their child(ren) at bay in public. Even the parents with the best behaved, amazingly polite children can have days where their children can make them wonder “who are you?” Again, children will test boundaries and while they are learning to become individuals they will have moments that make you shudder and wonder why they couldn’t have attempted to show their individuality at home, behind closed doors, instead of in the middle of the supermarket for all to witness. If more people in society had compassion rather than judgement, we would live in a happier society. Next time you see a person struggling with their child(ren), try to reach out to them. You can get a feel for a parent who would respond to hands on help versus a simple “been there, hang on, it does get better” look or comment. Reach out in any way that the situation seems to call for.

Parents – DO NOT Allow Others to Make you Feel Less Human

No one can make you feel anything you don’t wish to feel, stop allowing others who judge be in control of how you feel. If someone else wants to give you glares or make snide comments about your children or parenting style, let them be the miserable ones. Learn to be quick witted, even in the most stressful of situations. A quick, snide “oh wow I didn’t know you were a perfect parent. Oh wait, maybe you don’t have children” comment can sometimes make you stay focused on your own life but make you feel good to give a snide comment to the stranger who is passing judgement. Putting someone in their place, politely, is always a good stress reliever. Do not allow others to make you feel bad for being a parent and having a child who is either special needs or just being a kid on this particular outing. Kids will be kids, and that is okay, do not let anyone make you feel less worthy as a parent or person.

Enjoy Life

Remember, we all fail from time to time. We all make bad decisions and we all live with mistakes made. It is what you do, both as a parent and a human being, with those mistakes that can build your children up and build you up. It’s best to teach children that even their parents make mistakes, maybe it will make them feel less anxious or fearful of making their own mistakes. Just remember, life is too short to do anything but enjoy life! Be happy and be the parent you are, we all parent differently, that’s what makes us a beautiful society full of different people.

“Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

As the Days Pass, I Realize So Much

As each day passes, a new day rises. With each new day we find ourselves a day older, looking in the mirror we may not notice our daily changes on our bodies that make us realize we are getting older when each new dawn arises. The thing about parenting is that we have photographs, pictures of memories with our families that allow us to look back at our children and see how much they have grown. My oldest is nearing 11 years old, next year she will be in Junior High and I am still having troubles with that fact. Just yesterday, it seems, she was my little two year old singing Twinkle Twinkle and ABC’s through the grocery store and here she stands before me with an iPhone and ability to engage in conversations I didn’t even know she was educated enough on.

Diva Daughter

One thing that I do love about my daughter is her ability to dress like a Diva, shown above, or dress in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. My daughter is a lot like her Mother in many ways, she has this innate ability to fit into nearly any situation and has developed skills necessary to take her far in life. I am proud that she has become who she is and still works each day to be a better self, now if you asked me, I would say she has little to “fix” but I also believe that every human being should have something they are working on to better themselves each day. I cannot believe just how beautiful and intelligent she has grown up to be. This girl looks even older when she takes off her glasses and wears contacts. I just get jaw dropped and can feel more grey hairs filling in my dark black head of hair.

kids grow too fast

My sons, on the other hand, have grown to be quite the couple. They are my double trouble team, but when I say that it dawns on me that my now five and seven year old boys are not a real double trouble “team” per say. My Aj who is the older of the two, actually has started to step up and act like the older sibling. Aj is often found helping his little brother, even though his brother doesn’t accept the help and Aj is very compassionate. Aj is on a medication for his mood disorder and right now the medication seems to be really working to keep his moods steady and him on an even kilt. I love that Aj is acting like a normal seven year old because it really makes him happier and I can bear witness to that each day. Aj is also growing like a weed, it seems every morning he wakes up taller. How do kids do that? My youngest, K-man has become quite the handful, now that he is in kindergarten he is a big kid and he won’t let you think otherwise. Demanding. World Revolves Around Him. Little Reasoning Skills. Co-sleeping with Mama. Barely sleeping when he does co-sleep. K-man has become my handful but even while he seems to be going backwards emotionally and socially some days, he is certainly putting on some weight and probably about to sprout up soon. It amazes me how it seems as if it were just yesterday that I held that dark black haired light blue eyed baby in my hands … and now he’s in all day Kindergarten. Crazy!

Family LIfe

No matter how much older my kids seem to be getting, they are still so wonderfully amazing and kind hearted. We enjoy family time more than anything and we love each other deeply. My children, thankfully, have learned that their Mama will love them unconditionally always and in turn they have become such well rounded mini-adults with a big slice of childhood still in their hearts. I worked hard to ensure they still have childhood to enjoy, you only get one chance at childhood so no matter how old they get and no matter how tall they get, even if they tower over me, I will still push them to enjoy every moment of childhood as a child because once you are an adult you do not get that time back! I may be older than these kids but they have taught me so much and through them I have grown up in many ways, I also see the world differently than I did before being a Mama. That is a gift they give me every.single.day.

 

Watching My Youngest Grow Up

My baby is four years old, he is in pre-k and is making lots of friends. K-man has grown from the nickname Baby-K to Monster-K in a short year because he will no longer allow anyone to call him the baby in the family. I keep explaining that he is my baby and he is the baby of the family but the term baby apparently is unacceptable to him.

I love watching as he takes strides in being independent and taking to be his own little unique person, always the comedian in the family, he allows us to laugh when things get a little hectic around here. Doing such things as rolling down his car window to ask a passing by jogger “what’s the big rush” and modeling for various pictures , begging me to get my phone camera out to take a picture.

K-man is a bit into himself and around this home he usually is all about him, rarely caring or taking kindly to his siblings wants or needs. It’s all about K-man these days and I don’t know if that is normal for a four year old but man I hope it’s just a phase because having a confident child is great but bordering arrogance is another story altogether.

This past weekend K-man had a girl from his class over because her Mom and her attended my pizza party event. Later on that day, when I ventured downstairs to the kids cave, I noticed that the basement was rather clean. Do not get me wrong, it was a still a kids cave area by far, but there was a certain organization about it. The K-man asks me if I think it’s clean and I said to him that it does look pretty clean, did they all clean when the adults were upstairs mingling over pizza and Dr. Pepper?

Then K-man says to me

” I have to keep my room clean because C {the girl who came} says that she will come by again and she doesn’t ever want to see this room look like this again”.

I started laughing so hard! My little man is already taking orders from a little girl, and he is only four. What am I going to have on my hands when this cute little boy is a teen? Let’s hope he continues to listen to females and understand that they know all ;-)

There are So many Forms of Abuse, Let’s All be Kind

Every form of abuse, to adults and children, hurts. It can be physical and emotional, the sad thing is that emotional abuse is the kind that goes overlooked until that teen on the news is caught shooting someone or their own self.  Again, I will remind you all that guns do not kill people, people kill people. I watch the news as these teens with deep issues go unnoticed and it makes me sad. I wish there were more rule books on how to realize your child is having an emotional melt down. You see not all people speak up when they are going through abuse, some have no one to speak up to.

It seems in this day and age everyone should really start coming to grips with the fact that there is a lot of stress going on in this world. Some families have no clue if they will have a place to live from one day to the next, parents get grumpier as they lose jobs, income and find themselves unable to support their children. Stress and worry can really do a toll to a family unit and the kids sometimes are the ones who hurt the most watching their parents struggle.

One thing I firmly believe in, when it comes to being a parent or any care giver to another child, is that you have to support that child. Even if you have no clue what the heck they are talking about nor understand why they feel the way they do about various situations in their lives – you need to just support that child. Always. No matter what.  Do not put down a child for crying over something you deem silly, because to them? It isn’t silly.

How would you feel, as an adult, to hear that what you feel doesn’t matter, what you feel isn’t important. That you have to fit this specific mold to be loved, that you have to pretend to be someone you are not in order to gain acceptance in this world? Worse yet, within your own family unit? I couldn’t imagine having to be a certain type of person in order to feel love from my parents. Sure my parents didn’t always agree with things I did, they punished me, and yes I was a child who was spanked, hit with a belt and had that type of punishment for my actions growing up.

Although I am not a “spanking” mom, I believe that I turned out fine. It wasn’t abuse. Did I ever feel as though my parents didn’t love me? From time to time, probably. I felt they didn’t get me. I felt such negativity towards myself and them. I had issues. As an adult, I finally worked my way through those issues and am proud to be who I am today. This is why I will fight tooth and nail, every possible moment I can to ensure I encourage parents to be more positive with their kids and less negative. To encourage a love and appreciation for other parents and children, never would you catch me putting down another child or parent.

I hate when I hear another parent stating such negative about another persons child or parent, my skin cringes and I look for the nearest exit, because I don’t want to have this conversation. Most recently, I decided to no longer hide from these awkward inappropriate talks about other parents and children and to start encouraging a love for all. Who cares where you live, who cares what you make for money, who cares if you are better off or worse off than me – we are all human beings and there needs to be more love, less abuse. Emotional abuse can take years to fix, why not encourage instead of discourage today because the children of today will remember how you made them feel when they are in their adult years.

Feelings are a strong part of who we are. We feel a lot. Emotions are a huge part of our human being makeup. So today, I invite you to stand up for someone who is being abused, stand up and be strong for them, be the person they need to speak to. Don’t bash them, don’t judge them – just listen and do all you can to help!

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